Breaking Through
by Tari J. Deiter
Summary: Outcast from her classmates, Tamara was wondering where her life would go. Meeting Fangore, a red Lupe, changed her life forever.
1. Prologue & When I Was A Child

_This is my rendition of Neopets. In case you were wondering, i was writing this while i attended college at mvnu. but i didn't start it until like the fourth to last week of school and it stretched far into my summer vacation. i didn't finish it until like late july. anyway, it's done. idk if i'll make a sequel to it or not. also, some of what you read here has happened. of course, it is a fiction, therefore not all of it actually happened. you'll just have to figure out for yourselves which is fact or fiction b/c i'm not saying. or, you don't have to, doesn't matter to me._

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and most everyone else is mine. The oc's are my friends and family. the story line is mine. This is also a double whammy - prologue and chapter all rolled into one. enjoy._

* * *

Prologue

* * *

I never gave much thought to how I would die. But, if it was for someone I loved, cared for, or—possibly admired—seemed easy enough. I wasn't selfish. Mostly. Especially if it was the creatures I knew and loved. And, even raised.

Bluehopper curled up close to my chest and I curled my arm protectively around her blue, furry body. I held her close and whispered into her flopping ears comforting words. I knew she could understand me as many of her kin could. Bluehopper and I have a special connection; one that had been developed for sometime since my cousin and I found her in her nest; cold, hungry, and alone—her mother was dead; her remains close to the nest.

"Mistress. We have to move now." Fangore told me. I looked up into his red, lupine face and I saw a look of concern radiating in his cool, yellow eyes. I knew he was just worried about me.

"Where's Arco and Dilasca?" I asked him.

Fangore looked back over his shoulder at the two other creatures I had cared for since they came to me. Dilasca was cradled in Arco's arms; a black contusion visible on her yellow fur. Her purple eyes were closed. I nearly cried. Dilasca had been abandoned by her own master and I had taken it upon myself to care for her and raise her like she was my own. I cursed the fact that some humans could feel little to no compassion for the little creatures of this world.

I got up and swung Bluehopper onto my back. She clung to my shoulders and her sharp claws dug into the fabric of my thick, red vest and her long, blue tail wrapped itself around my waist for stability. I approached Arco and took Dilasca from her. The little Ixi was still breathing; her little stomach was heaving.

"What happened, Arco?" I asked, though I knew it was a stupid question to ask for one of two reasons. One, the Grundo couldn't speak because of his dim-witted intelligence. And two, because I knew what had happened. But, I was blinded by the hot tears that were threatening to show. I had to be strong. Arco was learning strength from me and Bluehopper was still too young to understand why a strong human like me would actually cry over the half-dead corpse of an Ixy.

Suddenly, Arco's strong, three-fingered hand closed around my ankle. His glassy, blue eyes wide with fear. A fear I knew well. He pointed up at the sky indicating that danger was near.

"Mistress! Look!" Fangore barked.

I followed both of their gazes and my eyes widened in the same fear that both Fangore and Arco felt.

"RUN!" I screamed.

Fangore snatched Arco up in his teeth and tossed him onto his back. He clung to his thick, red fur tightly as he ran beside me.

"Mistress! Look out!" Fangore howled after me as I slipped onto a rock and feel onto my knees; nearly crushing Dilasca with my body.

I twisted to my side and looked up. The dark, malicious shape of the opposing Eyrie descending upon me.

They say that when you're about to die, you're whole life flashes before your eyes.

At first, I used to let that roll off my back and act like it never happened. Now, I see what the elders meant by it. However, there was part of an untruth to that saying. I didn't just see my life. I saw the lives of my pets. Everything they had shared with me when we communed. Everyone, but Arco's who was not really my pet.

This is what happened:

* * *

When I was a child  
Chapter One

* * *

I could remember back to the day when I first knew about the creatures of my world.

Perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is Tamara, aka Tam. I live on a small planet called Neopia which is very far from the original home of the humans; Earth. This is after the time when the humans had not only populated Earth, the moon, and Mars, but had also grown out to other planets. We became over populated on our many planets to the point where we extended into the Coal Sack Galaxy; the place where Neopia lay.

I was born on Neopia to parents of different origins. My mother was true Neopian–born and bred–while my father had come on a freighter from Mars. Both fell in love with each other, married, and had two children. My brother, Codax, and myself.

Codax was a handsome boy that many, young girls lusted over though he took no interest in any of them except one.

Selena.

Only, she was not interested in him.

Codax became bitter and did not help our mother with the usual duties of caring for the small creatures that lived came to us.

Mom was a veterinarians who specialized in healing neopets and petpets.

Mom's great love for neopets drove me to love and care for them too. To the point where I knew that I could train and take care of them.

That was how my adventure began.

It was the coldest snowy season in my entire ten years of life. Public school had ended for me and mom was working late at the office. Codax had gone into town to get supplies for the night. A terrible snowstorm was starting to brew and he was being prepared as all boy scouts were taught.

There was a note on the table addressed to me in simple Neopian.

_Tam, Mam is expecting you at her house this evening. Go there until I come get you. With all my heart, Mom._

Normally, I would have just stuck around. The wind was bitting cold and strong enough that it would have knocked me over. My face was starting to return to its natural color. I wasn't willing to just go outside. However, children were expected to obey their parents no matter what order they gave.

I shrugged into my winter bundles and set out.

My skin was bitten at and I shuddered. I wished that Codax was with me. Even if he did make me sad or just plain annoyed me, he was still pleasant company when I needed him to be.

I crossed the snow covered plain. My spiked boots sliding uselessly across the ice beneath the thin, white layer. Was it just me, or were the elements plotting against me?

Oops!

My foot slipped on a hidden ice patch. I slid down the bank into the ravine below. The thick ice supported my full, ninety-six pounds of body weight and heavy clothing.

I slowly slid into a sitting position and groaned when I felt my ankle. It wasn't broken just sprained but it might as well have been broken with the pain I felt. I slowly raised myself into a standing position and looked up at the high ravine walls. Now that I think about it, the walls weren't that high but I was short as a kid so they looked taller than to the adult perspective.I scanned them; looking for a way out as I balanced myself on one leg. My sense of balance had always been fairly good. But, I could not stand still for long as the rough winds grabbed on to me with icy fingers and started pushing me roughly to the side. I screamed in surprise and grabbed onto a protruding root. It was all I could do to stop from breaking the ice and falling into the icy water below.

I heard a low rumble and looked up. To my surprise, I was met with the most awesome sight of all. A red Lupe stood on top of the ravine looking down at me; his golden yellow eyes sparkling with a kind of curiosity that was unusual for wild Lupes. His pointed ears were pricked forward and his head cocked off to the side.

Though I had been warned away from Lupes because of their tendency to become violent out of fear when approached by a strange human, I held out a mittened hand to him.

"Here Lupe." I called. I was hoping that the Lupe would not see me much as a threat. I knew that Lupes could be extremely loyal and friendly. At least, all the tamed ones I had seen were really friendly.

Much to my surprise, the Lupe slid down the wall and trotted across the ice toward me.

I curled my fingers into a fist to make them less vulnerable and allowed the Lupe to pick up my scent. His black snout twitched in my direction as he extended his neck out. I was tempted just to touch the tufted ears but knew that there was a possibility he would snap at me. Then, he brushed his muzzle into my knuckles. I knew it was safe to touch him.

I got down to his level and cupped his face tenderly in my hand and met his eyes. We stayed that way for a while as he communed with me.

The elders in my village had often mentioned that communing with neopets created a whole new world for people. It opens a plain of understanding to the point where communication between humans and neopets are now possible. I needed to commune with him or else he would not be able to understand me.

"Hello, Lupe." I said, calmly. "My name is . . ." and I told him my name which–at that time–had not been stolen from me after I graduated from the academy. "What shall I address you as?"

"Whatever you want to call me, mistress." came the masculine reply.

As a kid, I always had an imaginative mind and I chose the name that came easiest to my mind. "I shall call you Fangore."

The Lupe licked my face with his hot, sticky tongue which felt good on my freezing (and possibly red) face. "Then to Fangore I will answer." He said. "What do you need of me?"

I pointed up the bank. "I need to get to my Mam's house."

"So? Let's go." Fangore said, but I shook my head. "What's wrong?"

"I sprained my ankle." I replied.

Fangore seemed to measure me with his eyes. A feeling that made me feel uncomfortable. "How much do you weigh?"

"Ninety-six pounds."

He whimpered at my reply. "It'll be a little much but it'll have to do for now. Climb on." He turned his back to me and I slowly but surely slid onto his back.

Fangore trotted to the end of the ravine and climbed out onto a path I didn't even know existed because of the snow. Then, he ran in the direction of Mam's house. The bitter wind still nipped at my already frozen face. I flinched and buried my nose into his musky fur.

I realized that I was totally and utterly tired from the communing process. I had not realized just how much energy it would take to make such an effort to commune with a neopet who was not yet full-grown. I tried to think about all the factors that might have played.

Perhaps I was inexperienced. Then again, how did all the elders get experience from communing if they hadn't done it once themselves.

Perhaps, my age–or the age of the Lupe–had played a part. After all, I was only ten at the time and not that experienced on neopets. At least, not as much as mom, anyway.

Whatever the case was, I just wanted to fall asleep across the Lupe's warm back.

"Is this it?" Fangore asked and I looked up at a Bogota style house that was my Mam's.

"Yes." I replied as I slid off Fangore's back. I landed onto my sprained ankle and grimaced.

Pap was working in the wood shop when he heard me hiss in pain. He came out, wrapped in an old fashioned jacket and picked me up when he noticed that I was balancing on my left leg while holding up my right, gingerly.

"It's okay, honey." Pap told me as I pressed my ear against his throbbing heart. Pap was gentle as he carried me into the house. "I'll take care of you. Imagine it! Your mom sending you out here on your own in this weather! What was she thinking?"

"But I wasn't alone, Pap!" I said. "Fangore found me."

"Fangore?" Pap asked as he opened the door.

"The Lupe." I looked over his shoulder at the red Lupe who was standing on the snow covered path. Blood red against white. His yellow eyes looking at me, pleadingly.

Pap spun around and looked at the Lupe. He saw the eyes and the fact that Fangore was not in attack position. "Tam! He looks rather young." Pap said.

"He got me out of the ravine." I said.

"_You fell into the ravine!_" Pap asked.

I nodded.

Pap sighed. "Did you commune with him?"

I nodded again.

"Then, he should come in. It's dangerous out here in this weather. Even for a Lupe."

I smiled. "Come on, Fangore."

Fangore barked excitedly and bounded in after us. He shook the snow from his coat and went to the fireplace to warm up.

Pap sat me down in the big, comfy chair and propped up my sprained foot. I winced as he removed my boot and sock and stared in shock at the swelling. He applied ice to it (making me cringe and whine in the process) before wrapping it in a bandage. Then, he made me rest until mom came to get me.

I had to give mom an entire rundown on the days events but I put much more emphasis on how I came across Fangore. At first, mom would not let Fangore come home with us. That was, until I mentioned that I had communed with him. Thus, I had left my mark on him and he left his mark on me.

Under normal circumstances, the Neopian High Council would not have allowed a ten-year-old girl–with little to no experience at handling or working with neopets–to own a half-grown Lupe. At once, they ordered me to release Fangore into the wild. That was, until I had explained that I had communed with him and to make me release him was against the law of Meridell. Finally, The council allowed me to keep Fangore under the condition that I applied for the Academy of Neo-Trainers. That way, I could keep Fangore legally.


	2. The Academy of NeoTrainers

_Chapter Two.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. The OC's are mine.  
_

* * *

The Academy of Neo-Trainers  
Chapter Two

* * *

The Academy of Neo-Trainers looked much like a Terran college campus. Only, there were a few differences between the two.

Of course, there were dorms for everyone staying there and buildings for classes.

But, there were three things that most colleges don't have or allow.

First of all, there was a battle field where the neopets fought to test their strength against each other and gain points. Second of all, there was a training facility where trainers-in-training trained their neopets how to fight and racked up their abilities. Third of all, people–who already owned neopets due to the fact that they were accepted–brought in their neopets.

Fangore quivered with excitement when he saw a Dire Lupe across the lot. He bounded up to the much larger Lupe. To my surprise, the Dire Lupe snarled and charged at Fangore causing him to stop in his tracks and jump back; whimpering.

I stared at the larger Lupe; observing its blood-red coat complete with a thick, gray ruff and chest. Its paws were massive and it reached my shoulder. It was attached to a harness and halter which was led by a girl who was considerably much taller than me.

The Dire Lupe growled at my normal Lupe. "Down, Callaban." the girl said, gently slapping the halter down on the Lupe's back. "Sorry about that." The girl said, looking back up at me. "Callaban doesn't particularly get along with other neos. I guess that's what you get for having a Dire Lupe."

I didn't answer. In fact, I wasn't even sure if I had heard her correctly. Dire Lupes were supposed to be really had to catch or train. In fact, they were pretty much banned from being pets because of their ferocity and lack of self-control.

"How'd you get him?" I asked.

"He was caught in a trapper's net. The farmer who caught him didn't have the heart to kill him so I took him because I was already getting into the Academy anyway and I needed to have a starter neopet." She looked down at Fangore. "Who's your neo?"

"Fangore." I answered, touching him on ear. He ignored me and kept an eye on Callaban. I could feel a slight twinge of tension as if he expected the Dire Lupe to attack. "He found me in a ravine last winter and saved me. I communed with him and we've been together ever since."

She nodded and held out her hand to Fangore for him to sniff. Fangore ignored her and kept his attention on Callaban.

"Sit, boy." the girl ordered her Lupe and he sat back on his haunches without a second bidding. Then, she turned back to Fangore and let him sniff her.

"He's really friendly." I said.

"Friendly doesn't win battles around here." the girl said. "A neopet has to be tough. Strong. Able to stand in the midst of battle. There is only one winner in a fight. One grand champion."

"Fangore is strong. And, he is tough. He's only nasty in the midst of battle."

"Really? Have you seen him fight yet?"

"No."

"Then how do you know?"

I have to admit, that stumped me. I didn't know how to answer it.

"That's what I thought." She said.

"Wait." I said. "I . . . just know these things. I don't have to see him fight to know what he's like in a battle. I just know."

"That's probably just your connection talking." She said.

"No. It isn't."

"Whatever."

I could tell that we were not going to get along. Why else did she want to pick a fight with me? Was it just to test me? Who knew?

"We'll see how tough he is next to Callaban. We've been at this for over a year now." She boasted. "I'll see you in the battle field then." she said.

"I'll be there!" I called after her.

Once the girl left, Fangore looked up at me. "Mistress, you know I can't fight against a Dire Lupe! They're too savage for normal neopets! That's why they were banned! If you have a Dire Lupe, you're bound to win no matter what!"

"That's why we have to work on it." I said, scratching him behind the ear. "I have faith in you. You've got courage. Why else would you have approached me if you thought I would have hurt you?"

"I sensed you were injured." Fangore answered. "Plus, you're young. You didn't pose much of a threat to me anyway."

"It doesn't matter." I said. "I know plenty of young creatures that can fight if they're injured."

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"Name one."

I thought about it. "A Grundo came into the clinic once. We had a tough time trying to get him to calm down."

"Grundos are sometimes vicious if they're not injured so that one doesn't count."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Look, you told me to name one so I did."

"Whatever." Fangore grumbled. "Point is . . . I can't fight a Dire Lupe! I'm gonna end up dead before I even get a chance to sneeze."

"I highly doubt you're gonna end up in the ring with him soon anyway. You're probably gonna get some practice in before you reach that level." I said, raising his head so that we were looking eye to eye.

"I hope so." He said, licking my face.

I smiled as I wiped the slimy residue from my face. "Come on. Let's go find our room." I took out the room assignment from my back pocket and unfolding it.

I found Tyrannia Dorm and signed in at the front desk. The Resident Director's Assistants made me fill out a few papers and sign them. I set the papers down on the table and opened the ink pad.

"Come on, Fangore. You have to sign it too." I said.

Fangore growled before putting his large paw in the ink pad and applied it to the paper. This happened three times and I looked at the intricate design left behind by the pad of his paw. I washed his paw off with a damp tissue before returning the papers to the RA's. A key was passed over to me and I took it and went upstairs to my room.

My room was in the far, right corner on the eastern side. It had two beds, two dressers, and two desks. My school books were sitting on a desk; waiting for me to open them and learn their contents. My things had already been brought upstairs and my mother already left for the clinic. She had to work today anyway because there were a lot of patients coming in a matter of hours. From this time on, I was on my own.

I signed as I opened my trunks and began making my bed, opened my desk drawers and put my school supplies in–pens, pencils, sharpening tool, notebooks, erasers. I set my backpack on my chair for use on Monday when classes started and hung a large slab of cork-board and a dry-erase board on the wall above my desk. I tacked a copy of my schedule on my cork-board slab and wrote down the stuff I had to do today on my dry-erase.

Just as I was dragging out Fangore's bed from the bottom of the trunk and throwing a blanket down on it, when my roommate walked in.

At first, all I saw was the thick, blood-red fur and the glowing, yellow eyes of a Dire Lupe. Then, Fangore whimpered.

"Mistress! It's him." Fangore said, putting his head in my elbow. I held Fangore close as I looked up into the angelic face of my roommate.

"You!" She sneered and pointed to me.

I groaned. We already had a rather lousy meeting in the parking lot of Tyrannia dorm. I already had an idea how this was gonna work.

"Yes. Me." I said.

She stomped her foot, disturbing Callaban. "This isn't acceptable. I can't be rooming with someone who doesn't have experience in training neopets."

"Whatever." I said. "I'm just as qualified as you."

"Oh really?" she put her hands on her hips. "What exactly makes you qualified to be one of us?"

"My mom's a vet. I've had experience in handling neopets and fixing up wounds."

"That doesn't mean anything." She answered, undoing the halter clasp from Callaban's harness. "Vets heal. Trainers train neopets to fight. The two don't match."

"Maybe not. But I've seen wounds due to fights. I know, by now, what caused them."

"You're still too young to know that."

"I'm not much younger than you." I said.

"Stop." Fangore said. "Mistress, don't argue with her." He nudged my hand with his cold, wet, leathery nose.

Callaban grumbled something at him, though I couldn't understand him because we were not connected.

"I will not butt out!" Fangore snarled at Callaban.

Callaban snarled back at Fangore. Just by guessing (mostly because Callaban had dropped into a fighting crouch), I grabbed onto Fangore's thick harness and held him back.

"Go ahead and let him go." My reluctant roommate said. "I can guarantee that Callaban can beat him."

"I'd rather not find out yet." I said. I crouched down next to Fangore and wrapped my arm around his neck to enforce the idea that I didn't want him fighting in this little room.

"Wimp." I heard my roommate say. She re-hooked the halter to Callaban's harness and stalked from the room.

"Where you going?" I demanded.

"I am going to housing to complain about this. This is an insult." She said. "It's insulting to me that they would put me in with an underling who doesn't know anything."

"I can learn just as fast as you."

"That will take too long. You'll never reach my level." She snapped.

I have to admit, that struck a vein. "What?" I asked.

"Don't think I can't see what the Council has done for you. I can tell you're not thirteen. You may be able to trick the president or anyone else, but you didn't fool me."

"What if I'm really short for my age?" I was true, I was short for my age. Always have been. Always will be.

Unfortunately, she didn't buy it.

"You look too young to be thirteen. And it's not your height either." She pointed to my face, indicating what gave me away. "That's why I need to complain to housing. This is ridiculous! I'm here to learn and get my degree not babysit!"

"Whatever." I said, collapsing on the bed I had just finished making. I listened to her footsteps recede down the hall and descend the stairs to the lobby.

Fangore climbed into the bed next to me. He lay down next to me and I wrapped myself around him. For a moment, I had felt unwanted. As a kid, I had never made friends with kids my own age. I was strange and considered an enemy to them because of it. I had been hurt too many times due to false friendships. So much, in fact, that I built a wall around me. One high enough and thick enough for people to be able to get in.

Only Fangore knew a way through my wall to be with me. He was doing that now.

"It's okay, Mistress." he said, licking my face tenderly. I smiled.

There was something about the love of a neopet that surpassed any love any human could present.

"She's not really the person that matters."

"Thanks, Fangore."

He cocked his head at me. I could see suspicion radiating in his cool, yellow eyes. "You've put up your wall again, haven't you?"

I nodded. I had been hurt once again by the snide remarks of the people around me. I took my usual defense. I put up my wall.

"Can I come inside?" Fangore asked.

"You can always come in." I told him.

I didn't know for how long we lay there. All I know is that he fell asleep with my arms wrapped around him. I stroked him while he slept until darkness fell and shafts of light from the glow stones outside came streaking in through the windows. I was so content laying there next to Fangore. So much so, that I nearly slept too but found myself unable to answer the call the sandman was giving me.

Just then, my reluctant roommate returned in a huff. Without a word to me, she began unpacking her trunk; muttering darkly about how this was "so unfair" and "I shouldn't have to deal with this" and "I'm a Neo-Trainer not a babysitter".

Fangore awoke, yawned cavernously, and sat up. He nudged my arm as he always did whenever he was contented.

Or wanted something.

"I'm hungry, Mistress." he said.

"Go figure." I muttered as I jumped off the bed and helped him off. I removed the halter from the bedpost and attached it. "I'm going to the café." I told her.

"You can jump in a lake for all I care." she called after me.

That drove a knife into my heart. It hurt so bad to hear her say that.

"Don't worry, Mistress." Fangore said. "I would care if you jumped into a lake."

"You're just saying that because I'm the one that puts the stuff in your bowl." I teased.

Fangore gave me a slight smile. "That's part of it but . . . we've been together for eight months now. I would care because you've taken care of me. I love you for that. And I would care if you died."

I hugged Fangore around the neck and squeezed hard. I took comfort in knowing that. Fangore had always been someone I could fall back on if I was troubled.

The cafeteria was nearly empty due to the late hour. I looked around at the odd setting.

Tables of food were arranged all over the place, categorized by species. Both humans and neopets alike had their own tables. The tables to eat at were extremely low to the ground and blue mats were placed around them.

I gathered our food and chose a spot close to the window. There, Fangore and I ate together.

"What do you think school'll be like?" Fangore asked me.

I shrugged and spoke around the mouthful of vegi burger that I had just taken a bite of. "Don't know, Fang." I put the burger down and wiped my mouth off on a napkin. "I 'spect it'll be interesting."

Fangore touched placed a paw on my forearm. "If it gets tough, I'll still be here if you need me."

I smiled and scratched Fangore under the chin. "Thanks, boy."


	3. Let the Classes Begin

_Chapter Three. Somehow some of my chapter data was lost in this one and i had to find the hardcopy i printed out a while back in order to fix it. thank god for hard copies, eh?  
_

_I don't own Neopets. The OC's are mine.  
_

* * *

Let The Classes . . . Begin  
Chapter Three

* * *

First day of classes was the most hectic day I ever experienced. Even with all that time I used to spend helping mom in the clinic. Especially during the summer when most of the Battledome fights took place.

Next to finding where all my classes were, working in the clinic was nothing.

First thing I found when I woke up was that my schedule had been stuck under my door. Perhaps by one of the RA's. My roommate (whose name turned out to be Kara) had already grabbed her's and left with Callaban for breakfast. I picked up mine and looked at it.

**Name:** Tamara  
**Sex:** F  
**Age:** 13  
**Neopet:** Lupe/Fangore  
**Year:** 1st Time Fresh  
**Classes:**  
8:00am-9:00am Neopet Identification in room 216 of Grarrl building under instructor J. Nielson  
9:10am-10:10am Neopet Health and Fitness in G16 of Gym under instructor P. Furey  
10:20am-11:20am Neopet Care-taking in room 318 of Lupe building under instructor R. Watt  
11:30am-12:00pm 2nd Lunch in Cafeteria under staff  
12:10pm-1:10pm Neopet Training in room G17 of Gym under instructor P. Furey  
1:20pm-2:20pm Neopian Laws and Procedures in room 146 of Xweetok building under instructor G. Leedy

My day wasn't exactly busy. It suited me perfectly because I preferred not to have a busy day most of the time. At least after Neopian Law class, I could spend most of the time studying for my classes.

I woke up at seven and went to the cafeteria with Fangore. Breakfast mostly consisted of fresh bacon, eggs, juice, and toast with many condiments. Fangore broke his fast over a bowl of Lupe kibble and stringed liver. As gross as it sounded and looked, Fangore rather enjoyed it and displayed his liking for it by licking his chops.

"Ready to go?" I asked, untying the lead from the stake.

"Always ready when you are." Fangore said.

I tied the halter to the heavy belt around my waist and we stalked out to the Grarrl building, up the stairs, and into room two-sixteen.

Professor Jack Nielson was a veteran neopet master. He was considerably much older than me and still getting along in years. His neopet was a green Grundo who was just as old, scarred, and battered as his master was.

Nielson started started off the lesson by giving a lecture about Grundos and then introducting himself. I jumped at his words.

"Grundos! After centuries of imprisonment by the evil, Dr. Sloth, who transformed them into his hideous servants, the Grundos have come to Neopia. They are naturally friendly and try–sometimes too hard–to be cool. They have a monstrous appetite that allows them to eat almost anything."

He rubbed his leathery chin with a calloused hand before continuing. "Good morning, students. I am Professor Jack Nielson. I have come to this school two generations ago and have taught a generation before you. When I got into the Age of Retirement, I was given the opportunity to come here and teach the younger generations how to identify neopets. It was either that or lose what was precious to me . . . Morpheus."

The Grundo gave a gurgle of satisfaction at being addressed as something precious. Nielson touched Morpheus' head between the lobbed antenna surmounting his head.

"As you can imagine, it is very hard to lose the very thing that has been with you for so long." Nielson said. "Morpheus and I share a common bond that you and your neopets soon will as well. These things take time. With that time, you both will be connected in more ways than one. Soon, you will be able to feel what each other is feeling. Know what each other knows. See as each other sees.

"This can be a blessing and a curse. In the Battledome, you can feel what you neopet is feeling. Sometimes, this drives people into insanity. Luckily for you, you won't actually be the one to send your neopets in to fight. That is up to the Neo-Masters. You just have to train them.

"I am here to teach you how to identify neopets, their characteristics, personalities, and why they are much better than any Terran animal you will ever meet." His sparkling blue eyes looked up toward someone in the back. "Yes'um?"

"What exactly is the difference between Terran and Neopian animals?" said a girl lounging in the back with a red Mynci at her side.

"Terran animals cannot commune or bond with us as Neopian animals can." Nielson answered. "Your Mynci can communicate to you and you can understand . . . is it a him or a her?"

"Her." The girl answered. "And, her name is China."

"And your's?"

"Maya." came her reply.

"Well, Maya, I hope that I have answered your question today." said Nielson.

"You have." Maya replied as she settled back into her seat. "Please continue."

With that, Nielson continued with his explanation of the Grundos. "Now, Grundos look very much alike. They are rotund little creatures because of their tendency to eat almost anything that's edible."

Morpheus growled something at Nielson that Fangore translated as, "Hey! I'm not that fat!"

"No, you're not, Morpheus. In fact, compared to other Grundos, you are quite average."

"Thank you." Fangore translated and I heard murmurs from other neopets as they translated for their m asters as well.

"Now, Grundos have a very-well developed muscle structure. Perhaps . . . that is what Dr. Sloth saw in the Grundos to make them his slaves." Morpheus growled at the name of the notorious mad scientist from long ago. Nielson ignored him and continued giving his speech. "Grundos are actually not classified as neopets seeing as how they came from a planet very distant from ours. Nobody really knows where they come from or how Dr. Sloth found them. But, after Neopian government arrested Dr. Sloth, the Grundos were put here.

"We discovered that we could commune with them. Just like we could with actual neopets. Grundos just as friendly but just as fierce in battle as most all neopets. Each one has his or her use. Grundos have theirs."

The remainder of the lesson was based on Grundo history. Nielson lectured on how to identify Grundos, their general uses, and the best way to train and maintain them. Then, he gave us the assignment (due Wednesday) on the differences between neopets and Grundos.

No sooner had Nielson dismissed class then Fangore tugged on the lead rather hard.

"Fang! Slow down! What's your hurry?" I demanded, yanking on the lead to get him to heel.

"I just want to talk to that Mynci. Come on." He said, excitedly.

"Why?"

"Because she fascinates me that's why." Fangore grumbled and I saw his golden eyes roll.

"Fang, we've got a class in eight minutes." I said.

"You're point?"

"My point is that I can't be late on my first day." I answered.

"She's headed in the direction of the gym anyway." Fangore said. "We can catch 'em."

"Why can't you wait until school's over to talk to her?" I asked.

"Because I can't that's why." Fangore said.

I rolled my eyes. Out of all the Lupes I could have communed with it had to be one with a huge sense of sarcasm. I sighed and my shoulders rolled forward into submission. "Fine." I said. "What's the girl's name anyway?" I asked.

"Maya I think it is." Fangore told me as we stepped out of the room.

I spotted her through the crowd. "Hey! Maya! Wait up?" I called.

Surprisingly, the girl stopped and turned; the Mynci sitting on her shoulder balanced by wrapping it's tail around her shoulder and down her upper-arm. They watched as Fangore and I approached.

I looked her up and down. She was not much taller than I was though a little bit older than me. She had thick, black hair tied back into a constricting ponytail She had a tan face, with dimples in her right cheek every time she smiled. Her eyes were dark brown and sparked with a sort of ferocity as she glared at me.

"How do you know my name?" Maya asked.

"You asked the question about Terran animals." I answered.

"Ah." Maya said, nodding. She seemed kind of nervous. "What do you want?" she asked.

"It's actually not what I want." I said. "It's what my Lupe wants."

"What does he want?"

"He wants to speak to your Mynci."

Maya looked down at Fangore. My companion stared back up at her, pleadingly. "He's not going to attack China is he?"

"'Course not." I answered.

With that, a conversation (which we could only understand our neopets' half of the conversation) went on between my Lupe and Maya's Mynci. I could hear Fangore giving away some information about me to China and I felt my cheeks turn red. Although, I must say I was glad that Fangore avoided the fact that I was a year too young for the Academy.

As they talked, Maya and I walked down to the gym. Then, they fell silent as Professor Furey began his lesson. He mostly discussed what his class was going to teach. Basically, he was going over some training exercises that not only tested and enhanced the strength of the neopet . . . but also developed at trust factor and a stronger between neopets and humans.

Then, we followed Maya and China to the Lupe building for our care-taking class. There, Professor Wagner went over what she was going to teach.

At lunch, Maya and I had a very long talk. For some reason, our neopets decided to be friends and–with them–us as well.

I stayed silent through most of it; allowing Maya to be open and honest with me. I nodded and gave a few comments wherever necessary while she discussed things with me. As she talked, I noticed that the spark of surprise was starting to leave her eyes.

Maya came from a semi-bad home-life and had a bad relationship with her mother. She explained that she was a twin (a fact I found interesting since twins were rare among Neopians) and her sister, Alison, was also coming to school here. She said that her mom was a single parent who raised Alison, Maya, and their younger sister (Dahlia) alone. Their father was in Tyrannia working on a neopet zoo–which was actually a rehabilitation center that my mother worked closely with.

I looked over at China who was curled up close to Fangore. "How'd you get China?" I asked.

Maya glanced over at the red Mynci. "Interesting story." she said. "This Mynci came into my dad's work with a broken tail. I was visiting my dad in Tyrannia when he asked me to feed the neos. I was feeding this Mynci when I looked up and noticed she was watching. Our eyes locked and we communed. We've been together ever since."

"Wait. You said this Mynci came in with a broken tail." I said pointing to China.

Maya nodded. "Yeah. Why?"

I stared at China, who was now dabbing at Fangore's chin with a napkin. "I seem to remember a Mynci coming into the clinic at the end of the school year. She had a broken tail. Mom said she would always have a kink in it." I held my hand out to China then stopped and looked at Maya. "May I?"

Maya nodded and coaxed the Mynci in my direction. China sat on my lap as I examined her tail. It was exactly as mom had said it would be; slightly crooked because of a fracture in the tail joints. Although the tail was naturally curled, it was twisted slightly off to one side.

"Well? What do you think?" Maya asked me.

"I think . . . I might have helped mom with your Mynci." I said.

"Really?" Maya asked.

"I think so." I said. I explained that a red Mynci had come into the clinic with a broken tail and how mom had had me hang onto it while she fixed its tail. Then, the Mynci had been sent to the rehabilitation center in Tyrannia.

"That's pretty cool." Maya said, taking China away from me.

I shrugged. To me, working as mom's assistant wasn't as cool as it used to be. I mean, sure I got to learn basic medical stuff but, I was used to it by now.

"So . . . what's your life story?" Maya asked.

I shrugged and started in on it. I told her about my family; basically about Codax and my mom–whom I primarily live with. I told her that my parents separated some time ago but were still married. Dad liked to explore ancient ruins around Neopia. He sent letters back to us occasionally but he had been gone for too long. He probably wouldn't recognize us if he saw us. I was pretty sure of that.

"So . . . are you going to the First-year mugging?" Maya asked me.

I shrugged. "Probably not." I said, looking down at my saddlebag full of homework. "I've got a lot of homework."

"Me too but that's not gonna stop me." Maya answered. "I'll be there."

I watched her. Her eyes were pleading. "I'll think about it."


	4. Scenes at the PSU

_Chapter Four_

_I don't own Neopets. The OC's are mine._

* * *

Scenes at the PSU  
Chapter Four

* * *

Needless to say that homework at school had kept me busy. So much in fact that I hadn't had time to even consider hanging out with Maya and China. But, when the time came, Maya had come to my room to ask me if I was going.

"Hey, Tam." She said, knocking on the door.

I looked over my shoulder at her, pressed a finger to my lips and pointed to Fangore who was laying next to me sleeping on his bed.

Maya nodded, indicating that she understood.

"What do you want?" I whispered.

"Just wondering if you were going to the First-Year Mugging." Maya said. She tilted her head down and stared me down. "You did think about it . . . didn't you?"

I shook my head. "I hadn't had time to think about it. Sorry."

"In that case, you're going." Maya said. She strolled into the room without so much as asking me if she could come in. Then, she took me under the armpit and hauled me out of my chair.

"I can't, I have a ton of homework from Care-taking class." I said.

Maya gave me an amused smile. "You mean . . . you still haven't finished it?"

I shrugged. "Not really." I answered.

Maya looked over what I had. "You'd think this would be easy for you. I mean, your mom works in a clinic."

"That doesn't mean anything." I said, pulling my arm out of her grip. "I help heal neopets, I don't raise them."

"It's almost the same thing." Maya answered.

"Not quite." I countered.

"Whatever." Maya said, grabbing for me again but I rolled away from her. "Come on. A lot of other people will be there. You don't even have to visit."

"Just go, mistress."

I groaned aloud. Fangore was now awake.

"Alright. But Fangore is going too." I said.

"That's fine." Maya said. "I'm taking China anyway."

I hadn't noticed the red Mynci was—once again—balancing herself on Maya's shoulder.

"Okay." I said, my shoulders rolling forward in submission.

At the Student Union, Fangore and I were introduced to two other girls (and their neopets) who lived in our dorm. There was Maya's twin sister, Alison, and their friend, Kayla.

I have to admit that I didn't believe that Alison and Maya were twin sisters. They acted like siblings but other than that, there was no proof that they were even family.

First off was their personalities. Maya was more rough and tumble while Alison was more flowers and wildlife.

Second was their appearances. Maya was tan-skinned, raven-black hair, thin face, kind of short, and brown eyes. Alison had light skin (which made me suspect that she burnt easily), hazel eyes, wavy, brown hair, and a round face.

Thirdly was their neopets. Maya's Mynci was more of a rough and tumble sort of neo while Alison's Acara was more of the gentle sort.

Kayla was only a little bit taller than me (but not by much) but just as skinny. She had brown eyes and dark brown hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. She had a thin face and a great laugh that made me chuckle along every single time. Her neopet was draped across her neck like a furry collar. It took me a moment to realize that it was a Lutari whom she had named Splash.

The four of us seated ourselves at a high table in the recreation center of the building; mugs of root beer floats (both the root beer and the ice cream had been imported from Earth) and we joked around and laughed.

Much to my surprise, Splash crawled over into my lap, sat up, and looked at me. I adverted my gaze so that we didn't actually commune accidentally.

"Huh!" Kayla said. "That's interesting."

"What?" Alison asked.

"It's just that . . . I've never seen Splash approach anyone other than someone in my own family before. Heck, it took him a long time to actually get close to my sister, Abigail." Kayla crossed her arms and looked at me, puzzled. "Looks like he has a soft spot for you, Tamara."

"You can call me Tam if you'd like." I said. "And, I just seem to have that effect on a lot of neopets." I was trying really hard not to commune with him.

I glanced over at the Acara napping in Alison's lap. Suddenly, the Acara stirred and opened her orange eyes. I averted my gaze again and banged my large, green mug down on the table. "Well." I said, decisively, "I'm gonna go get some more of that float."

"We'll be here, then." Maya assured me.

I nodded and left the room with Fangore trotting at my heels. I could feel him sapping at my emotions again. That was how he knew something was wrong. He could feel my emotions.

"What's wrong, Mistress?" He asked.

I shrugged and Fangore nudged the back of my bare knee with his nose. I shuddered at the contact of cold leather on warm skin.

"Tell me." He said.

We wandered away from the large crowds to sit down by the fireplace. I stroked Fangore's head and scratched him under the chin.

"It's just that . . . why does it seem like all neopets wanna commune with me?" I asked.

Fangore's golden eyes pierced straight through my soul again. "You picked that up too?"

"It's not hard to pick up." I said. To be absolutely honest, it was unnerving to be liked by so many creatures.

"Mistress, neopets are not like humans. We don't judge people by their actions unless if it is harmful to us. We can see into a person's heart. If we like what we see, we will commune with that person. Obviously, China, Splash and Kiya like you."

"Kiya?" I asked.

"Alison's Acara." Fangore said.

I shrugged.

"Every neo likes your heart. You are a good person, Mistress, you just fail to see it."

"That's because I spent my entire school-life under the impression that I wasn't any good." I growled at him.

"Ignore them. Listen to what your neo is saying to you now. You really wanna spend the rest of your life listening to the lies of humans? They can't see into a person's heart like we can. We can tell if someone is good or not. All you have to do is believe us."

"I do believe you." I said. Then, as an after-thought I added, "I guess."

Fangore shook his head. "No. No guessing. Just believe and know that we know what's best for you."

"Alright then, I believe." I said half-heartedly.

Fangore shook his head more vigorously. "That's not going to work well enough Mistress if you say things half-way."

_Whatever_ I thought.

Fangore latched onto the hem of my t-shirt and tugged. "Come on. You're going back in there and facing your fears."

"But, what if I accidentally commune with one of them?"

"There is no such thing as accidental communing." Fangore grumbled. "There has to be a commitment from both parties. If you have no desire to commune with any of them then it won't happen."

"But, what if it does?" I asked.

"It won't." Fangore replied, pawing my knee. "Now, get yourself your second float and get back into that rec center."

I rolled my eyes. Fangore was never going to leave me along unless if I did what he asked me to. Usually it involved getting over my fears and he always knew what I was afraid of. I still say that forcing me to face my fears wasn't exactly a good method.

However, I approached the front table and got another float before returning to the rec room. To my surprise, my place was taken by a pleasantly plump woman of about fourteen.

Her hair was a mass of short, frizzy brown with blond highlights. Her eyes were a fiery hazel that blazed over her rosy cheeks that stood out on her pale white skin. Her neopet was a red Scorchio who was draped over her lap; asleep.

I grabbed the nearest chair and dragged it over to the table and sat down. Maya looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry, Tam."

"S'okay." I told her. I looked at the woman. "My names Tamara and this is Fangore." I offered her my hand. "And . . . your name is?"

"Bella." The woman replied, shaking my hand. "This is Firetail."

I glanced down at the Scorchio who was now awake in Bella's lap. "Pleasure to meet you, Firetail." I said, touching a hooking forehead spike. Firetail released a vibrating growl then purred in pleasure as I stroked him. I smiled. I had always wanted a Scorchio but allowed myself the company of a loyal Lupe instead.

"I called her over." Alison said. "I know her from my Care-taking class. I hope you won't mind."

"I don't really care, Alison." I said, reclining at the table to point out that I was laid back. I stabbed my spoon at the mass of vanilla ice cream floating in the fizzing root beer. "So, what did I miss?"

"We were just discussing Splash's reaction towards you." Kayla said.

"Really?" I said. I was planning to ignore this and act like it didn't bother me. Problem was that it left me nervous beyond belief. Why wouldn't it? I would feel like I was intruding if I communed with any of them. "I hadn't noticed that Splash reacted to me in anyway."

Kayla raised an eyebrow at me. "Come on, Tam. Splash never does that to anybody. He didn't want to commune with me why would he want to commune with you?"

"Honestly, I don't know how to answer that." I lied.

Suddenly, China chittered in Maya's ear and I saw Maya's eyes go unfocused. Then, she shook her head and looked at me. "China says she likes your heart. You have a good heart and a gentle spirit. Perhaps that's what Splash likes about you."

I shrugged. "I don't know." I answered. It was embarrassing to be the center of attention. Especially since the new girl, Bella, was looking at me.

"Well, I can't explain it." Kayla said, petting her Lutari's soft, downy head. "All he tells me is that he likes you and your Lupe."

I tried digesting this last bit of information. What I found was interesting was that a Lutari liked a Lupe. Normally, Lutari were low on the food-chain for Lupes; at least for wild Lupes. But still, why would a Lutari like Splash (who probably spent his entire life fearing Lupes) suddenly take a liking to this Lupe?

I drained my mug of the root beer and got up; stretching. "Well, I'm off to the room to work on my homework." I said. "Come on, Fangore."

As I walked back to the dorm with Fangore trotting at my heels, I began pressing him for answers on what he thought of the girls.

"Well," Fangore said. "I like Kayla and Maya. They seem like alright people."

"What about Alison and Bella?"

"Bella seems kinda shifty. I got the feeling from her Scorchio that she isn't real comfortable around people. I would watch out for her if I were you."

"Well you're not me."

"I know I'm not but still . . . I would watch."

"And Alison?"

"Her Acara wouldn't tell me anything. I would just take the time to get to know her before I would jump to conclusions."

"I'll try." I said. Suddenly, Fangore stopped. "What?" I asked.

"Mistress, there's something about Maya that I can't quite put my paw on." Fangore said.

"What?"

It was odd seeing the lupine neopet shrug. It was too human for my taste.

Fangore glanced back at the Student Union with a look of fear and worry printed on his gentle face. "I don't know but I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out."

Needless to say that Fangore never did figure it out though it bothered him and, with him, myself. I kept an eye on Maya, trying really hard to figure out what she was hiding. Though, I figured that she wouldn't tell me until she thought she was ready to let people know. I wasn't willing to pry. But, unfortunately, Fangore just couldn't let it go.

Over time, I developed a friendship with Bella, Kayla, Alison, and Maya. Bella's actions were rather . . . questionable, though I chose to ignore them believing them to generally be the faults of her human personality.

Alison and Maya were often the ones to invite me along on weekends to do something with them. At first I was reluctant. My previous experiences with people provided me with a unnatural suspicion of people who wanted to do something with me. The day they actually invited me along was on a day during the autumn months. I was laying on the couch trying to take a nap when I heard Alison call my name.

"Hey Bella, where's Tam?"

I could just imagine Bella (who was seated on the other couch putting together a puzzle with Firetail) point in my direction. I snuggled further down into the couch, hoping that Alison couldn't see me and cursed myself for wearing bright, pink trousers.

Alison leaned over the couch and gently tapped me on the shoulder. "Hey. You wanna come outside and play in the leaves with us?"

I lifted the hood up from my face and glared at Alison. "Why?" I asked.

Maya was there too. She grabbed my knee and squeezed it. "Come on. It'll be fun."

I growled darkly. "I'm trying to take a nap, guys." I said.

Alison's bottom lip stuck out and I could see the fake, expressive sadness that little children usually used on their parents to get their way. The "sad, puppy face" they called it.

I hate that look.

I felt like I was being guilted into doing something.

I rolled my eyes and flopped off the couch. "Fine." I growled into the dark carpet before struggling to my feet. "But then, I'm gonna take a nap."

"That's alright." Maya said steering me outside by my shoulders. "We're just taking a break from studying."

I rolled my eyes at this.

I have to say, I did have fun with the twins. We climbed trees, built leaf piles, buried ourselves in them, and basically made fools of ourselves. Nearby, Fangore, Kiya and China wrestled with each other. I could feel Fangore's anxiety of getting too rough with the two creatures who were both smaller than himself.

After messing around for a while, I collapsed on the park bench between the twins and we watched our neopets wrestle.

Alison nudged me in the side with her elbow. "Your Lupe is really careful with Kiya."

I blinked at her. "He tries." I said. "Fangore's only playing. He doesn't want to cause any real harm while it can be avoided."

"That's really nice of him." Maya said, watching as China put him in a choke hold with her tail wrapped around his forelegs, forcing him down onto his stomach. For a moment, I couldn't breathe. That was until Kiya charged at China and knocked her off Fangore's back. I inhaled greedily; feeling relief as my once, screaming-lungs now relaxed.

I stood up. "I should get back to working on my homework." I said.

"Yeah. So should we." Alison said, standing up. She called Kiya over and tucked her under her elbow. China climbed up onto Maya's shoulders and wrapped her tail around her mistress's shoulder. Without further ado, we returned to our rooms.

No sooner had I sat down to do my fitness schedule for Fangore then I heard screaming down the hall. Fangore's head lift and he stared down the brightly lit hall. His bewhiskered lips curled over his ivory fangs in a dark snarl.

I touched Fangore's pointed ear. "What is it, boy?"

"Alison and Maya are fighting."

"What about?"

"No clue." Fangore answered. "Then again, they're siblings. Just think about what you and Codax fight about."

His logic was sound. Codax and I did fight a lot about something. Usually, it was stupid stuff. My guess was, it was even worse for twins.

The arguing quieted down and I heard a pair of footsteps going down the stairs. For a moment, I relaxed but then tensed up as I heard the sound of breaking glass. Before I even had a chance to move, China came flying into the room; screaming at the top of her lungs. Her right paw was a brighter shade of red.

"What's wrong, China?" I asked, scooping the screaming Mynci in my lap. If I could, I would have communed with her but didn't. Instead, I looked at Fangore for a translation.

"She says she wants you to come and see Maya. Bring your first aid kit." Fangore answered.

I let China crawl up onto my shoulders and I followed Fangore out with the first aid kit in hand.

The sight that me me was a sickening one. I'm not normally one that gets sick easily but I almost threw up when I saw the sight that met me.


	5. Blood and Tales

_Chapter Five. I kinda got into talking about Tamara's dad here. Just so you know, I have a great relationship with my father. i get along better with my dad than i do with my mom. maybe my cyberchase stories are a reflection on that. anyway, enjoy.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. The OC's are mine._

* * *

Blood and Tales  
Chapter Five

* * *

Maya was standing at the sink; arm over the porcelain basin with blood pouring out from scratches down her forearm and elbow. Maya's face was tight with a grimace, as though she was trying not to scream or cry.

The telltale signs were littered on the floor. The window had a fist-sized hole in it.

"What happened, Maya?" I asked. I stayed where I was hoping that Maya would invite me in. If not, I was gonna do what I had to do whether she liked it or not.

"Got in a fight with Alison." Maya said. "I punched the window so that I didn't punch her." her voice was choked.

I approached her and turned on the water in the basin. "Come on. You need to get that cleaned."

"What do you know about first aid?" Maya asked.

I glared at her. "Plenty." Was my response. "Now, are you are aren't you gonna let me help you?"

Maya hesitated before letting her arm drop into the warm, soapy water. It was either me or the school nurse. I was less likely to ask as many questions or report her to campus safety.

"What's going on?"

I looked up and saw Kayla and Splash at the door.

"Nothing you should worry about too much, Kayla." I said. "Just a little incident with a window." I answered.

"Can I help?" Kayla asked.

I pointed to the red bag on Alison's bed. "Just mix together the numbing elixir with the disinfectant." I told her. "Disinfectant is in the blue bottle and the numbing elixir is in the little packets."

Kayla picked up the bag and placed it on Maya's desk. When she opened it, I watched her shift through its contents.

"What can I use to mix 'em with?" she asked me.

"Use the tongue depressor." I said. "And . . . wear gloves too. The numbing elixir will make your fingers fall asleep if you're not careful."

Kayla picked up a tongue depressor. "Wait. This is one of those tongue-presser-downer-ahh thingies." She said.

"Tongue-presser-downer-ahh thingy?" I asked. "It's called a tongue-depressor."

"Well, I like to call it a tongue-presser-downer-ahh thingy." She said.

"Look, we don't have time for this, Kayla. Would you just mix the stuff?" I said.

As Kayla mixed them together (in silence because I had snapped at her and now I felt guilty about it) at Maya's desk, I returned to my work at cleaning the wounds. I could see them evenly now. Deep scratches caused by jagged pieces of glass. The marks were still bleeding; staining the water a livid red. Luckily, I could see no glass shards in the wounds which would make it easier for me to work with. I didn't want to cause any harm.

I let her dry her arm off on a towel before making her sit down so that I could work better. Putting on gloves, I lathered her arm with the foul-smelling concoction. I watched Maya's nose wrinkle in disgust at the smell. She jumped and yelled as I first applied it.

"What?" I asked.

"It stings!" she answered.

"Well, it's not going to be for long." I answered. I ignored her as I applied the whole cup of the smelly concoction. Then, we waited a moment. "Is it numb yet?" I asked, knowing that the skin would go numb on contact.

"I can't feel anything." she said.

"Good." I said. Then, I wrapped a gauze roll around her arm.

"Now tell me what happened." I demanded.

"Yes, do tell." Kayla said.

Maya rolled her eyes. "Promise you won't tell anyone about this." she said.

I nodded then looked up at Kayla who nodded as well.

"Alison and I were arguing because China had been attacked by Kiya. I said that there was no call for it even if China was choking Fangore. She was only playing. You know that right, Tam?"

I looked down at Fangore who nodded. "He forgives her. There's no harm meant."

"I know that but Kiya didn't need to tackle her." Maya flinched as I applied hooks to the gauze roll.

"Maybe she thought that China was going to go too far." I suggested. "China did have Fangore in a choke hold after all."

Maya's head rolled forward. For a moment, I had thought that I had perhaps gone too far. That I had sided with Alison against her.

I lifted her chin with the side of my gloved hand (the fingers were coated with the smelly mixture). "Choke holds are dangerous after all. China could have killed Fangore."

"But she didn't."

"I know she didn't. I think I would have felt it if she had. But, that's not the point. The point is, choke holds have been banned from the battledome. That's why people don't use them. They can cause unconsciousness, permanent damage to the throat, and even death."

Maya's jaw dropped. "Seriously?"

I nodded.

"Wait. How do you know that?"

"Mom's a vet." I said. "I've seen what choke holds can do."

"What haven't you seen?" Kayla asked me.

I looked at her. My face serious and my eyes were sad. "Death."

"Seriously?" Kayla asked.

I nodded. Then, as I stood up to throw my gloves and used materials away in Maya's paper can, I gave out an explanation. "We've had a few fatal injuries come in. I worked at mom's clinic during the summer—which is usually when the battledome events take place. If mom was sure a neo was going to die, she would make me wait out in the waiting room for her to come get me. She didn't want me to see death this early. She wouldn't even let me see the dead things after they had died." I sat down and sighed. My head rolled forward to my chest. "She didn't have to explain it to me. It would almost be like the day my dad left to join NEO."

"NEO?" Maya asked.

"Neopian Exploration Organization." I responded. "I cried the day she explained to us that he had left and was probably never going to come back."

"Your mom's just a little bit protective of you, isn't she?" Maya asked, flexing her arm to see just how much movement she had left.

"Well, my dad left to join NEO and never came back. He sends postcards every once in a while. Other than that, we don't hear from him. He's been gone since I was four." I replied. "Mom's had to make a living doing what she does best . . . being a healer. But, she's got mouths to feed and bills to pay." I shrugged. "At least with me getting a position as a Neo-Trainer, mom will get public immunity and doesn't have to pay any bills. So long as I stay under her insurance."

"That's true." Kayla touched the top of my head. "I bet it's hard for a single parent to make a living with . . . how many kids?"

"Two." I answered.

"Okay." She nodded. "It's hard to make a living with two kids, isn't it?"

I nodded. As much as I hated people knowing too much about me, for some reason I trusted Kayla and Maya with this tale. Even though I felt like it was a sob story and I was using it to make people pity me.

I moved away from Kayla's hand which was still on my head. "We're getting off topic. Look, Maya, Fangore forgives China for the choke hold and I forgive you for not calling her off. But, the biggest thing is for Alison to forgive you for making accusations and for China to forgive Kiya for hitting her."

"Excuse me?" Maya asked. "Kiya was in the wrong for hitting China."

"I understand that, but you have to keep in mind that China was close to killing Fangore."

Maya opened her mouth to argue with me but closed it again. She looked away from me and I felt guilty.

"I'm taking you for a guilt trip, aren't I?" I asked.

"No. You're fine." Maya responded.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yea." Maya said.

I shrugged. "Okay." We were quiet for a moment and I could see Maya beginning to think her options over. Finally, she gave a frustrated sigh.

"Problem with Alison is . . . she has her pride. She's never going to apologize and I'm never going to let it go until she does. I'm just going to get irritated with her and I might end up punching the window again."

"You wanna sleep in my room tonight?" I asked.

"Only if your roommate won't mind." she said.

I snorted. "If Kara does give you a problem, I'll bop her in the nose. Other than that, I don't think she'll care much."

I spent some of the evening in Maya's room. Alison had run off to the library to do her homework so she didn't have to be in the same room with her sister. Pretty soon, it turned into a threesome study group between me, Maya, and Kayla. It mostly helped that all three of us were in some of the same classes together. After a while, we went over to the cafe to have supper. Kayla abandoned us to go eat with Alison but Maya and I enjoyed a nice meal together with our neos.

I pointed to Maya's arm; the bandage was already stained with blood. "If you need me to, I could probably do some stitches. I used to do them with mom whenever she needed help."

Maya grimaced and I could see a slight, green tinge take up some color on her cheeks. She shook her head. "Nah. I'm sure they'll heal on their own. They're gonna scar either way."

"True." I said.

Without much else to say, we returned to her room and moved her mattress to my room. I glared at Kara to make it clear that she was not to make any comments on why Maya was sleeping on our floor.


	6. Why do People Like Me So Much?

_Chapter Six. Yes, another couple of OC's. If you can't tell, this story is full of OC's. only the neopets aren't mine.  
_

* * *

Why do people like me so much?  
Chapter Six

* * *

Since that day, Maya and I have been very close. For a moment, she became like a sister to me. We did almost everything together. Including making a study group. For weeks after what happened with the window, Maya hid her bandaged arm with the sleeve of a hoodie. Every morning and night, she came to my room so that I could change the bandage. After a while, she had finally stopped bleeding but she complained of some pain or discomfort. Eventually, I gave her some pain pills and she took them (though, she told me she didn't like having to take medication for stuff).

At first, it was just me and Maya. Every once in a while, Kayla and Alison would join. Then, we got Bella to join in.

The study group would start at nightfall and end about the time we got tired. I would do one or two assignments during the day and attempt to do the rest later during the study group. After my assignments were done, I would sit out in the lobby to do an evening of people watching. This would take place just before the winter months.

I sat out in the lobby one autumn evening; bag of yarn skeins and crochet hooks in hand. I was planning on taking a break from doing homework for a while. My latest crocheting project was going to be a blanket for Fangore (his old one was getting worn). Plopping down on the brown couch cushion, I sorted through my bag and pulled out a forest-green skein and a gold-colored hook. Stretching out my legs and setting them on the coffee table, I relaxed and began crocheting.

Near by, Fangore lay stretched out on the dark rug; his ears, lips, and feet twitching as he dreamed of casing Cybunnies in a field or meadow. I smiled as he gave off burbling barks that were not quite as loud as ones he would have made if he was awake.

"Hello. Is this spot taken?" called someone behind me.

I jumped and looked up into the round face and almond-shaped eyes of a girl staring down at me. Her curtain of shoulder-length, raven-black hair sweeping forward passed her pale cheeks. She indicated the empty cushion close to me.

I leaned away from her to get a better picture of whom I was talking to.

In my eyes, she was beautiful. Possibly thirteen or fourteen (she looked closer to fourteen). Her skin was lightly-tanned and her cheeks were a pale, rose color. Her eyes were almond-shaped and blue. Her voice was friendly and I took an immediate liking to her.

She waved a hand in my face; an eyebrow raised. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head and felt stupid. I probably looked stupid while I studied her face. "Yeah. Sorry. I . . . just blanked out for a minute."

The girl nodded, skeptically. "I'm glad you're okay. But, you still hadn't answered my question."

"What was the question?"

"Is this spot taken?" she pointed to the vacant cushion next to me. "I'm waiting for a friend and you looked kinda lonely."

"Sure. Go ahead and sit down." I said, removing the bag of yarn to set it on the floor by my legs.

The girl smiled (a nice smile that made her eyes disappear) and walked around the couch and table; tugging on the maroon leash she had wound around her wrist.

Attached to the leash was a neopet I had only ever heard of, but never seen. However, there was no doubt in my mind that it was what I thought it was.

I stared at it; observing the ebony-black shell on its back, the long, tufted tail, and the huge digging claws on each foot. All the things that named it a Bori.

The Bori stepped neatly around Fangore; only to squeak in surprise and jump into it's Mistress's arms when the Lupe stretched in his sleep.

The girl hurried to the preferred cushion and sat down; holding her Bori tightly while whispering comforting words in its cupping ears. When it finally calmed down, it climbed onto the cushion between us.

We were silent for a moment. The only sounds—whenever people opened the doors to come in or go out and Fangore's breathing as he dreamed.

"What are you making?" the girl asked, nodding to the half-finished square I was working on.

"A blanket for Fangore." I said.

She nodded, surveying the other, colorful squares I had on the table. "Ah. Looks like it'll be comfortable for him." Her eyes lighted on Fangore. "What is he?"

"A Lupe." I said.

"Ah. I thought he was one of the lupine-type neos. Wasn't sure if he was a Gelert or a Lupe."

"Lupes have more fur and don't have the little whips on the ears and the tail." I said, looking down at the Bori. "Who's that?"

The girl stroked the Bori's head, tenderly. "Sheldon." Then, she extended a hand to me. "I'm Randi."

I shook her hand. "Tamara." Then, as an after-thought, "Just out of curiosity but, what kind of a name is Randi?"

She grimaced. "It's short for Miranda." she said.

I nodded, understandingly. I would probably go by Randi if I had a choice. "I go by Tam." I said.

"Which floor do you live on?" Randi asked.

"Second east." I answered. "You?"

"First east." Randi said. "You wouldn't happen to know who Camara is, would you?"

I scrunched up my nose. "Doesn't ring a bell."

"You sure?" She cocked her head off to the side. "Kinda short. Long, wavy, brown hair. Green eyes. Carries around a Xweetok."

A blurry image grew in my memory. "Sounds familiar. She live on my floor?"

Randi nodded. "Yeah."

"I might know her. I'd just have to . . ." I never got to finish my sentence because a girl carrying a Xweetok on her shoulders came in. Finally, a face to the faceless phantom in my memory came in my mind.

She leaned over the unoccupied cushion and looked directly at Randi. Her long, thick ponytail fell down over my shoulders and tickled my forearm.

"Hey Randi. You ready/" The girl I suspected was Camara asked.

Randi glared at Camara, accusingly. "What do you think?" she asked, standing up. "I've been waiting for you for about half an hour. Where were you?"

"Sorry." Camara said, guiltily. "Professor Helburt held me after class. Needed to talk to me about honors."

This struck me as odd. Only a select few people were selected for honors before starting at the academy. Honors were for kids who received outstanding marks in school. Eight years of all A's in every subject. Two or three years were easy-peasy-rice-and-cheesy but the fourth year was when things got difficult. I, myself, was an exemplary student but, (if I remember correctly) not one in my grade got outstanding marks on their report sheets.

I cut the yarn with my pocket knife as I thought this over. Suddenly, Randi touched me on the shoulder and I jumped; nearly dropping the open blade into my lap.

"You wanna come to supper with us?" Randi asked.

I shook my head. Again, my suspicions were aroused. What can I say? I'm just naturally cautious.

"Naw." I said. "I'll just wait for my friends, Bella and Maya to show up. I have a prearranged date with them." I looked back down at the finished, forest-green square I was flexing over my knee.

"They can sit with us if you'd like." Camara said.

I frantically thought of a reason why not. "I have a Lupe for a Noe. I'm pretty sure Lupes and Xweetoks don't get along." I said, noting the cute, furry, squirrel-like creature on Camara's shoulders.

"I'm pretty sure Skittles won't care." Camara answered. She touched the creature's silky fur with two fingers. "He's rather tolerant of neos of all sizes. Why do you think he gets along with Sheldon so well?"

I hadn't noted that the Bori had even taken an interest at all until Camara mentioned it. Looking over, I could see the Bori had raised himself onto his hind legs—front paws on the back of the couch—and was sniffing at the little creature with gentle curiosity. The Xweetok leaned as far out as Camara was permitting and sniffed in return. I could see both were relaxed. Neither seemed intent or close to intending on attacking each other.

"Yeah but . . . aren't you worried that Fangore might try to eat him?" I asked.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it." Randi said, tucking Sheldon under her arm. "If Fangore's been attached to you for long—or if he's anything like you—I wouldn't worry."

Fact was, I knew Fangore wouldn't attack even if he was hungry. He wouldn't even attack if his life was in danger. But, he would attack if mine was.

Randi gave me a playful slap to the shoulder. "Come on."

I rolled my eyes. Obviously these were the type of people who were extremely persistent. I wasn't. I could see where this was going.

We crossed paths with Maya and Bella on our way to the cafe.

I blushed as Bella screamed at me across campus. "I THOUGHT WE WERE EXCLUSIVE!"

Camara nudged me. "I think she's talking to you . . . I don't think I caught your name."

"I'm sorry." I said. "I don't think I dropped it." Then, I smiled teasingly. "It's Tamara. Or Tam."

"You live on my floor, don't you?" Cam asked.

I nodded. Then ducked my head as Maya came flying up beside me and aimed to hook an arm around my neck.

"Hey. I thought you were gonna wait for us in the lobby." Maya said.

I grimaced, guiltily. "I did. But then these two invited me along."

"Okay." Bella said, nodding sagely. "So it's their fault."

"Pretty much." I replied. "But they said we could sit with them."

Bella fixed Camara and Randi with the same, skeptical gaze she gave me at the Student Union.

"_Stop it_!" I growled at her.

I saw Bella's eyes go distant; unfocused as her Scorchio whispered something in her ear. Bella grumbled something inaudible before nodding. "Okay. We'll join."

Camara smiled as though she had won a contest in a spelling contest. Then, she hooked me and Randi by the elbows and began skipping down the sidewalk toward the cafe.

Dinner with Bella, Camara, Maya and Randi was rather enjoyable. I discovered that we all had basically the same aspirations. To graduate from the Academy and either go about being a Neo-Trainer or owning our own training facility. That last thing was mostly Randi's ambition.

I went to sleep with red cheeks, a bright smile, and fond memories of new friends made.


	7. Incident at the Cliff

_Chapter Seven. Last Four OC's for now. Also, I was sad about how this one ended. After chapter eight, i took a hiatus until i could get my head together. Also, sorry about the length. i try not to make chapters too awefully long but this one just kept turning out ideas.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

Incident On The Cliff  
Chapter Seven

* * *

Needless to say that my once, non-existent list of friends now had names. Including names of people I hadn't even considered as my friends before.

My friends came in small groups. Randi and Camara were always together (basically, they were inseparable). So were Kayla and Alison. Bella and Maya were the ones I hung out with most but I chose not to hang out with the same people constantly (even though you usually saw me with Bella and Maya). Depending on which group was doing what, I migrated between them. And, all three were excepting and welcoming if I wanted to hang out with them.

As for my main group with Bella and Maya, two new members appeared. Both boys. Boaz (nicknamed Bo) and Thorley (nicknamed Thor). Bo was fourteen while Thor was fifteen.

We met them one day in the cafeteria as we sat down to eat. Maya glanced up and saw the two boys, seated alone with only their neopets for company. Maya waved at them and the light of hundreds of glow stones shimmered off the many scars on her forearm caused by the glass shards (they had fully healed but left tiny scars in her tan skin).

"Bo! Thor! Come over here! We've got plenty of room." She called.

Surprisingly, the two boys picked up their trays and came over.

Bo was a rather handsome boy with his reddish-brown hair and light, freckled skin. His brown eyes flickered between each of our faces, as though sizing us up. He didn't smile or talk much as he sat down between Bella and Thor. His neopet was an electric-blue Gelert named Thunder.

Thor, on the other hand, was only a few inches taller than myself. He had dark-brown hair (almost black), hazel eyes, and a slight stubbling of beard on his chin. He had an infectious smile that made me take an immediate liking to him.

But, it was his neopet that I took an interest in.

It was a Lupe the color of shale in a muddy river bank. It's eyes were a bloody crimson color and it glared angrily at Fangore who cowered behind me (not that I would make that great of a shield if he did attack) until I touched him on the head to calm him down. It was twice the size of Callaban and perhaps thrice the size of Fangore. Its paws were as big as my face and its jaws could have swallowed my head whole.

It took me a moment to realize the creature I was staring at was, in fact, one of the most dangerous Lupes ever to roam the face of the planet. Banned by the Neopian High Council because of its ferocity and its tendency to attack without warning. Perfect for Battledome competitions but still really hard to control or even tame. I was really astonished (more like mortified) that this boy of only fifteen could have obtained a Cave Lupe.

Thor placed a hand on the Cave Lupe's rump and gently coaxed him into a laying position. "Relax, Mudbane." Thor said, petting the thick fur on the creature's head.

"Mistress! It's a Cave Lupe!" Fangore whined in my ear.

The Cave Lupe let out a deep grumble and lay his head down between his massive forepaws while, at the same time, eying China who was seated comfortably in Maya's lap.

"What's wrong?" Thor asked as Fangore crawled into my lap and licked delicately at my chin.

"He's worried that your Lupe is gonna attack him." I said.

To my surprise, Thor smiled. "Who? Mudbane?"

I nodded.

Thor laughed even louder. "Mudbane's as tame as they come. He couldn't hurt a fly much less a normal wild Lupe. I've had him ever since he was a puppy—easier to tame that way. Nah. He won't do anything unless if my life was in danger or if I ordered him to."

I felt Fangore relax at this. Without further ado, introductions were made 'round.

A few occasions after that meeting, Bo and Thor would sit close with us. All this lasted until about early March; only over a couple of months after my thirteenth birthday.

As we were seated at supper, Bo asked me a strange question. "You wouldn't know anything about Eyries, would you?"

I shuddered but launched into the explanation of what Bo wanted to hear.

"Eyries (though beautiful, majestic, and looked upon as mighty creatures) were the world's worst nightmare. Though, not as bad or powerful as a Cave Lupe, Eyries were just as unpredictable, violent, and prone to attacking without cause or reason.

"They were revered as 'The Ancients' or 'The First-Ones'. The first neopets to even come to Neopia. Feathered, four-legged gods from the stars who created the planet we called home. This explanation was probably why nobody could tame them. Only a handful of people have ever even encountered an Eyrie and lived to tell the tale. Though there had only been a few cases of unexplained Eyrie attacks, Eyries never actually attacked—or killed—unless if their homes or nests were disturbed. People (including Trainers and Masters) were asked not to visit Eyrie inhabited lands to reduce the risk of serious injury or death."

Someone blew raspberries behind me. Looking up, I snorted when I saw that it was Kara who had made the noise.

"Eyries aren't that hard to tame." She said. "I bet you I could tame one even now."

"I wouldn't suggest it." Thor said. "With the best of luck, you'll only lose an eye. They're on the Dangerous list."

"They're not so dangerous." Kara said.

"Oh really, Kara?" I asked. She nodded and I could see the fury of being contradicted beginning to show on her face. "How many case reports have you read involving Eyrie attack accidents? How many of those people have survived an Eyrie attack without losing something?"

The color drained from Kara's face. "Only a few."

"Yes. Four out of thirty people have survived an Eyrie attack and just lost an eye or an arm or leg. We're just teenagers, Kara. Those guys were adults. What chance do you have against a three-hundred pound creature?"

"I'll take my chances." Kara said, storming away with Callaban at her heels.

I shrugged. On some occasions, she didn't try to argue with me. On others, it was usually best not to start a fight.

Suddenly, I had an ominous feeling that Kara was up to no good. I wasn't hungry anymore. Even with half a vegi burger sitting on my plate in the middle of excess mashed potatoes and gravy. Standing up, I roused Fangore. "Well, I have to start on a report of my own. I shall see you around."

Maya rose too. "I'll come with you." She said.

I shook my head. "I'm gonna be writing my essay." I indicated Thor and Bo (Bella had gone home due to some problem with her uncle). "You should stay here and keep 'em company."

"Actually," Bo began. "We need to go. Jason will be waiting for us to go on a nature walk."

Thor nodded. "Yeah It's an assignment from one of the upperclassmen classes. I'm just taking Bo along because he doesn't have anything better to do."

"We'll see you around, then." Maya said, allowing China to take her usual perch on her shoulder.

No sooner had we gone out of the cafe then Maya pulled me in close enough to whisper in my ear. "Tam. What's wrong?"

"It's Kara." I answered. "I think she's gonna try something stupid."

Maya's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "You don't think she would try to climb the fourth Mount Eyre, do you?"

I considered this. There were seven mountain ranges all inhabited by Eyries that were spread all over Neopia. All seven of them were addressed as Mount Eyre. The nearest one was only a quarter mile away from the Academy. Second-year students at the Academy climbed this Mountain during the day while the Eyries were dormant (since they were nocturnal beasts). Since Kara was a second-year student, she had gone through the training necessary to mountain climb (a skill expected for all Trainers to enhance endurance, strength, and stability).

"I think she'll try anything at this point." I said. "Kara has her pride and we only encouraged her by saying that taming an Eyrie is impossible."

"But it _is_ impossible." Maya said. "Kara's a year ahead of us. She should know better than to actually attempt it."

"I fear that because we said it was impossible . . . she's liable to try it just to prove us wrong."

Maya tugged on my sleeve. "Then let's see if she's still in the room."

Our haste was wasted. No sooner had we entered the room then we were confronted by a sight that we knew would meet us. It had appeared that Kara had made a mad rush in an attempt to prove us wrong. The curtains to her closet were flung wide open and the bags to her neo-armor and climbing gear were strewn across the floor, limp and open.

"You're roommate is an idiot." Maya said.

I nodded. I knew she had her pride and a sense of rebellion. If someone said no, she would take that as an encouragement to do it anyway.

The image that came in my mind of Kara lying dead—her body marred with beak and claw marks—did not rest easily with me. I cringed and my stomach turned over. I bit down hard on my tongue to keep from throwing up.

"I have to find Thor." I said, as soon as the sensation of vomiting cleared. I went to my closet and began lacing up my hiking boots, shin guards, and gloves before armoring Fangore.

"And I'm coming with you." Maya said.

I shook my head. "I can't risk it, Maya." I said, tying off the last shoulder piece on the leather armor Fangore was to wear.

Maya grabbed my shoulder. "Listen. We've been through thick and thin. I'm not about to let you go off on a dangerous mission on your own. Besides, aren't we supposed to report runaways to campus security?"

"There's not time for that." I said, making sure my gloves were on tight enough. "They have to send out a report, organize search and rescue parties, do head counts, and report to her parents that she went missing. You really think the Eyries are gonna wait that long for that to happen?"

Maya shook her head. "Okay. Let me gear up and I'll meet you down in the lobby."

"I'm not waiting for you." I said, brushing by her. I didn't want to wait for reasons of my own. One, she was my best friend and I felt guilty about dragging her into this. Two, I was in a hurry to find my roommate and bring her back. And three, Kara was my roommate and, as such, I was supposed to keep her out of trouble.

Maya's hand closed around my shoulder and she turned me around. Her eyes were dark and hard and her voice had an ordering tone to it. "Tamara! I _am _going with you."

I glowered back at her. "Fine. But suit up fast."

"Will do." She called after me as I ran downstairs to wait in the lobby.

It only took a few minutes for Maya to come downstairs in full, Trainer battle regalia. She even wore the light green apprentice vest that all students were expected to wear whenever they left campus to visit the town. We walked down the trial with Fangore in the lead; sniffing out Mudbane's scent until we found Thor.

I quickly explained the issue to the older boy who nodded sagely. Then, turning back to his friends, he snapped out orders.

"Bo, report this to campus security. Tell them that a small-scale search party is looking for a second-year student named Kara. Tell them that we're going to the fourth Mount Eyre. Jason, Jesse, I'm going to need your grappling gear. These two girls are underclassmen."

The three boys who were with Thor quickly ran off to do as they were told. Jason and Jesse returned with their climbing gear and let us put them on. Jason's gear (whose I took) was quite big on me—considering that Jason was three times my height and almost twice my girth. I fumbled with the adjusting straps until they fit snug around my waist and legs. Then, I readjusted the helmet until it fit perfectly under my chin.

Before long, Maya and I were running after Thor toward the fourth Mount Eyre. Dangling from the rockiest face of the mountain was Kara's multi-colored rope. There was no sign of Callaban so we were forced to conclude that Kara had taken him up with her.

I looked at Thor. "How'd she manage to carry an eighty-seven pound Dire Lupe on her shoulders up that mountain?"

Thor shrugged my question off as though it meant nothing. "S'not that hard." He said. He turned back to Jason, Jesse and Bo. "You three can be our spotters."

Jason looked Maya and me up and down. "Thor, you really think it wise to let those two go up there? I mean, Jesse and I would be much better at climbing than these two first-years."

"Kara is my roommate." I argued. "I'm supposed to keep her out of trouble."

"And she's not going anywhere without me." Maya said, turning so that Thor could hook the carabineer to her climbing belt; the assembled rope already hooked onto the top of the mountain.

Thor glanced up at Jason. "There you have it, Jase. They're both persistent." Then, he put his hand on Maya's head. "Especially this one." Then, he put his hands on my shoulders and pressed his bristled cheek next to mine; his lip pouting and his voice a pleading tease. "Look at this face. Tell me you can't look at this face and say no."

Jason picked up Maya's rope. "Fine." He grumbled. "I'll be her spotter. Jesse, you can take the other girl's rope."

"And I'll be Thor's spotter." Bo said, hooking the carabineer to Thor's belt.

As for our neos, China latched onto Maya's back and held on hard. A carrying pack was fashioned for Fangore and was hitched across my back and around my waist. At first, the weight of the sixty-two pound Lupe was unfamiliar and seemed heavy to me but I found that I could still carry him. A similar pack was shaped for Mudbane and was hoisted onto Thor's back. Thor winked at me as he hooked the waist strap.

"You never know when you might need the help of a Cave Lupe." He said.

Without further ado, we mounted the cliff face and began climbing. Below us, our spotters grounded themselves and the ropes tightened every time we moved upward.

Fangore licked the side of my neck just as I felt a small twinge of concern. "Don't worry, Mistress. I'll protect you."

"But who's gonna protect Maya? Surely not China! I mean, what chance does a Mynci have against a full-grown Eyrie?"

"Would you like me to protect them too?" Fangore asked.

For a moment, I thought I was asking too much of my faithful neopet. He has done nothing except protect me since the day we bonded. I felt a small snag of guilt as I considered saying yes. Instead, I decided to test Fangore's multitasking ability. "Can you do that?"

"What? Pay attention to more than one thing at once? Probably. Besides, Mudbane will be there too and he's more than a match for some feathery beast that hides in a mountain."

"Then, don't worry about me." I said. "Focus on Maya."

"I have to protect you. You are my first priority."

"But, isn't it true that you're supposed to obey any order given to you by the human to which you are bound to?" I asked. Another twinge of guilt. _I just had to use the communing card, didn't I?_thought to myself.

"Yes." Fangore answered.

"So, I order you to watch Maya. Don't worry about me. Worry about her." I said.

Fangore was silent. I could feel the internal battle he was having with himself. Should he protect me, his Mistress? Or should he obey his Mistress's orders and protect her best friend? "I will do as you ask. But, only if I know you are safe." He compromised.

I gave a satisfactory sigh as I hoisted myself up onto the ledge. Thor—who was already there—hooked me under the armpits and hauled me up onto the landing. Then, he threw a thumbs-up to Jesse before helping Maya up and giving the same sign to Jason. Then, he unhooked the carabineers from our climbing belts.

I fumbled with the belt buckle that held Fangore's carrying pack to my back. Once it was unhooked, I slipped it off my shoulders and started to undo the straps holding the back to the actual backpack when Thor slapped my hands aside.

"No. Leave 'em."

"Why?" Maya demanded.

"Because, if we're attacked, we need to make a fast getaway. We won't have time to rehook the entire thing." Instead, Thor drew back the pack straps and tied them with a strip of twine. By shoving aside the straps, Fangore was able to move about easily.

"Tam." I heard Maya breathe.

I looked up at her from watching Thor do the same thing with Mudbane's pack and saw that Maya was pointing. Then, I saw the thing that Maya was pointing at.

It was Kara. She was sprawled out on her side. Her left arm was twisted at an odd angle behind her back and her shoulder looked out of place. Callaban was lying beside her; licking her face.

I went to her and placed two fingers on the side of her neck. Her heartbeat was a dull throb.

"Well, Doc. What's the prognosis?" Thor asked, teasingly.

"She's alive but unconscious." I answered, ignoring the jib. I stood up. "We'll have to get the cage to take her down."

"TAM! LOOK OUT!" Maya screamed as she shoved me down on my stomach, hard. All the air left my lungs at the force of the blow. My clothes billowing around me.

I heard a loud thump and, looking up, I saw a tufted tail hit Maya square in the stomach. Unfortunately for Maya, she was standing too close to the cliff edge.

I watched as she was sent flying over the edge. Her body bowed in a crescent-moon shape; arms and legs reaching out in front of her. For a moment, time seemed to slow down as I watched my best friend look at me with a glance that was both fearful and surprised. Our eyes locked just before she plummeted down to the grove of pine trees below.

* * *

___in case you were wondering, maya is based off a girl i know named megan. no, she's not dead but my decision to kill her character was just how it turned out. i had no control over how this chapter was written out. i didn't want to kill her and i kept changing things around but it always came back to that last scene._


	8. I Just Wanna Die!

_Chapter eight. Okay, admit it, how many of you cried when i killed maya off? come one, don't be ashamed. i cried to. when megan read this, she cried too but i did tell her it was probably going to happen.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

"I Just Wanna Die!"  
Chapter Eight

* * *

I stared at the spot where Maya had disappeared from my sight. I could barely hear the snapping of branches as she fell over the defensive screeches of the opposing Eyrie and the war-like cries of the three Lupes.

I barely even noticed as Thor took me by the shoulders and made me stand up. "Come on, Tam. Let's get you out of here."

I didn't understand. I could barely move as Thor hooked the carabineer to my belt. Then, he slowly edged me off the cliff until I dangled there on the rope like an oddly-shaped fruit. I didn't even attempt to belay myself. I just hung there until Jesse was forced to lower me himself.

"You got her, Jase?" Jesse asked as I felt strong arms take me and unhook the rope. He unfastened the climbing belt.

"Here Boaz. You take her. She looks like she's in shock." Jason said, passing me over to Bo.

I struggled away from Bo and walked in the direction of the grove. Behind me, Bo called my name. "Tam! Tamara!"

"Don't just stand there, Bo. Go after her." Jesse said.

I heard Bo's feet on the dirt path, then on grass as he followed me into the grove; Thunder panting at his heels. I didn't stop until I reached the spot where she lay.

There was no doubting it, now. Her body was too mangled for me to deny it. There was bleeding scratches all over her body and blood pooled on the ground beneath her. Her limbs flipped about in ever direction. Her head twisted to one side with her mouth wide open. And her eyes! Oh, those eyes that were so full of life and vibrance; full of happiness, kindness and generosity; full of understanding every time she looked at me—a middle school castoff. They were now glassy and dull; void of all the things that made Maya who she was.

I stared at those blank eyes for a moment until Bo's voice pulled me out of my revere. "Though they were companions in life, now they will be companions in death." I now noticed that China was sprawled across Maya's chest; also dead.

Bo put his arms around me to take me back to the mountain. I shrugged away from him. "Please, Bo." I begged. "Leave me alone for a while."

"Okay." Bo's voice was soft; almost inaudible. He stayed where he was while I walked away from him. Away from the mountain. Away from Jesse, Thor, and Jason.

Away from Maya.

I walked until my tired limbs gave way and I collapsed in a heap on the needle-covered floor. And then, I began to cry. I don't mean crying as in stub-your-toe-on-a-rock crying. I mean absolute bawling. My remorseful howls raised into a loud shriek.

Perhaps that is what drew Fangore to me.

"Mistress?" Fangore asked, nosing my arm. I turned around and engulfed Fangore's neck in my arms in a huge hug. Fangore held still as I hugged him. He neither moved nor spoke as I bawled. My tears spilling down my cheeks and mingled with the blood he had on his fur.

I don't know how long I sat there and cried. Over and over I kept replaying the scene in my mind. The look of fear and surprise she had locked onto me with. A look of good-bye.

"Tam. Come on." Thor's hands were at my wrists; prying them away from Fangore's neck. I didn't try to resist. But I didn't want his company either. Though parts of me screamed for me to stay, I rose as he lifted me bodily and carried me.

He sat with me close to his chest—his arms wrapped around me as though to protect me from something else—as we rode back to campus on a wagon; one of the locals drove us back. I dared not look at the two bundles—one large the other small—at my feet.

When we arrived back at campus, Thor helped me down off the wagon and walked me back to the lobby of Tyrannian Dorm. Then, he let me go from there in the care of my Resident Director, Teresa.

"What's wrong with Tamara?" I heard her ask Thor.

Thor was silent. He shook his head; unable to answer.

Teresa steered me to the couch and sat me down. She clasped my hands and looked me in the eye. "Tamara? Tam, can you hear me?"

I nodded, the tears still coursing freely down my face.

"Then, tell me, Tam. What happened?" Teresa asked, wiping my cheeks with a tissue.

I could only utter two words ("Maya. Dead.") before getting up and going upstairs.

No sooner had I gone into the room then I curled up on my bed in a tight ball and cried. Fangore crawled up onto the bed next to me and I held him. Just like the the grove I held him and he neither moved nor spoke. I cried the bitter tears of remorse. I cried until everything around me was spotted with my tears and mucus built up in my throat. I cried so loudly that the empty room echoed. And then, my door opened.

I had expected it to be Kara (I would have punched her if it was), or Teresa, or Bella, or even Randi and Camara. Instead, I felt hands gently scoot me and Fangore closer to the wall and a long body slip in behind me. The hands grasped my forearms and the elbows squeezed my shoulders in. Then, a thumb brushed my damp cheek and jawline.

I didn't look to see who it was. I didn't want to.

"Oh, Tam! It's gonna be alright." It was Kayla. It sounded as though she had been crying too.

_But Kayla never cries!_ I thought. She was always so happy. Very little ever brought her down. Kayla was the kind of person who would knock on your door in the morning and greet you with a smile and the phrase, "Good morning, Beautiful! The sun is shining and the Earth says 'Hello'!" _Was death of a friend or relative her weak spot? Is this what it took to get to her?_

I thought about what she might think of me crying right now. Sure, she (and everyone else) had seen me teary-eyed but never saw me cry. Maybe the rough exterior I let everyone see was just a mask to hide the real pain underneath. I wasn't as strong as everyone thought me to be. Not as strong as _I _thought I was. I only ever teared up a few times; mostly due to homesickness or if I saw someone else who was unhappy. But, this was the first I had cried. This was the first I had heard Kayla cry too. I knew I would find no comfort with her there next to me while we were both saddened. But, I couldn't bring myself to tell her to go away. Now, I couldn't say that I never saw death. Death had happened right before my very eyes.I understood why Mom made me wait outside when death was about to show its ugly face in the OR.

"You!"

I rolled over; nearly shoving Kayla off the bed. I sat up and saw Alison pointing at me accusingly. Her face and eyes were read with anger, frustration, and sadness. Why wouldn't she be? She just lost her twin sister for God's sake!

"I wanna know what happened and I wanna know it, NOW!"

I curled up in a tight ball and cradled my head my my hands. I couldn't bear to look at Alison anymore. The fury that tightened her once-gleeful features scared me.

"Give her a break, Ali!" Kayla said, wrapping her arms around me. "She just lost her best friend for goodness sake!"

"Are you forgetting that her best friend was my twin sister?" Alison snapped.

"Of course not." Kayla said. "But, Tam and Maya were really close this year."

"I still wanna know what happened." Alison growled.

"I understand that." Kayla said. "But, maybe she can't say anything. Did you ever think of that?"

"I just got back from the library only to find that they're carting my sister's body around. Nobody can tell me anything. I want answers."

My head came up abruptly. "SHE DIED SAVING ME, ALRIGHT?" I screamed. I don't know why I screamed at Maya's grieving sister. What I do know is that I was tired of the bickering when I was trying to grieve in peace.

I jumped off the bed and ran over to the window; quickly drawing up the blinds and throwing open the window. I hoisted myself on the ledge and sat there; staring out across the valley.

"Explain." Alison said.

Between sobs that racked my frame, I gave a full account of how Maya's death had occurred. Then, I laid my head down on my knees; not daring to look at the looks of awe and surprise that I knew Kayla and Alison had.

I heard Kayla slide off my bed and approach me. I didn't move even as she put her hands on my shoulders. "Think of it this way, Tam. At least she didn't die for nothing."

"But she still died." I said. I still didn't look at Kayla.

"She died saving you. If that's not sacrifice I don't know what is." Kayla said.

"If I hadn't gone up on that mountain she would still be here." I said. I found myself staring at the ground instead of the sky or valley. Almost immediately, a tempting voice entered my head.

_Do it! It'll be quick and painless. It's all your fault she's dead. It should be you on that cart, not her._

"Tam? What are you doing?"

I hadn't realized that I had swung a leg out the open window in an attempt to make a jump for it. A small portion of my screamed "Don't do it!" but I ignored it and swung the other leg out.

Kayla was too dumbstruck to do anything.

But Alison wasn't.

When my butt was just inches out the window, she shoved Kayla aside and grabbed me under the armpits; locking her fingers around my waist. She hauled me into the room, kicking and screaming "bloody murder".

She pinned me by my wrists to the wall. "What were you thinking?" she demanded.

"Let me go, Ali." I said.

"You could have either killed yourself or ended up badly injured!" she continued and her grip tightened.

"That's the point." I said.

"Tam. That's stupid." Kayla said, having finally pulled out of her dumbfounded state.

"So what if it is?" I asked. "It's my fault she's dead and I can't live with this regret."

"It's not your fault." Alison said. "She chose to go with you, didn't she?"

"Yeah. And all because my roommate is an idiot." I said, struggling against Alison's grip.

"You didn't know Kara was gonna do that." Kayla said. "It's really housing's fault for putting you two together."

"Besides, Eyries are vicious. They attack anything that moves but their own kind. People lose things whenever they're confronted with an Eyrie." Alison said.

I stopped moving. Tears building up on the bottoms of my eyes. We did lose something. Though Thor, Kara and I had walked away from the cliff top in one piece, we had lost something. Someone. And I hated them for it.

"Oh, for goodness sake, Alison! Let her go." someone said at the door.

Immediately, Alison let me go and I looked up and saw Randi and Camara at the door.

Randi saw the tears beginning to fall and crossed the room towards me and she hugged me; crushing my body against her's. Then, she sat down and drew me into her lap. As Randi held me, I could hear the throbbing of her heart which was synchronized with mine. I felt like a little child again wrapped in her arms as I cried into her hair which smelled faintly of shampoo from this morning.

"Do you know?" Kayla asked Camara.

Out of the corner of my tear-fogged eyes, I saw Camara nod. She indicated downstairs and explained.

"We had just come in from supper when I saw Teresa talking to some administrators. She mentioned Maya's name and we knew that we had to find Tam. Seeing as how they were close."

"Good thing, too." Alison said, sitting on the edge of Kara's bed. "She was about ready to jump out the window."

Randi's jaw dropped and her grip tightened around my shoulders. "She actually tried to commit suicide?"

"She feels guilty because of Maya's death." Alison said.

"It's not her fault, is it?" Camara asked.

"No." Alison said, shaking her head. She related to Camara and Randi what I had related to her and Kayla.

Randi held me all the more tighter until I was sure my arms were about to be knocked from their sockets. Her face was close to my forehead and I felt her breath on my damp face.

She wiped at my cheeks with the sleeve of her shirt; all the while scolding me about my own stupidity; reminding me of all the people who would miss me when I was gone.

I immediately thought of Mom. A single parent raising two teens. All she had left was me and Codax. If I'd died, mom wouldn't just lose her daughter, she would also lose an assistant. Codax never helped. _What was going to be mom's reaction if I died? Would Codax even care at all?_

I thought of Mam and Pap. Those two had practically raised me when dad left. Mam became my godmom while my real mom worked while Pap became the father dad never was. My grandparents became my godparents until Mom let me be her assistant. I thought of how they would react to the attempt I was about to put on my life. _Could I really do that to them? Could I really hurt them that bad?_

Then, I thought of my friends. All these people who knew me from September or November. All of them were with me from the beginning of school. I thought of what would possibly happen to them if I left. _Could I really do that to them? Would they even miss me?_

I had much to contemplate. Even as I spent the night in Randi's room. The next day, I was excused from classes but Teresa came up to see me as I scrawled notes on Shoyru mating calls.

She explained that though Thor and I had acted admirably, there were still procedures we should have followed. As a result, we were on Social Probation until the end of the year. Kara was too, though Teresa informed me that despite several scratches and a dislocated shoulder, she was fine.

Personally, I thought that living with the knowledge my best friend was dead was punishment enough. But, I agreed that Social Probation was fair.

And I endured it . . . in silence.

Well, maybe not complete silence.

* * *

___in case you were wondering, a lot of what was going on with tam and the suicidal thoughts actually happened to me. there was a lot of junk - stuff i can't talk about - that happened at the naz and i couldn't handle it all at that time. i just wanted it all to stop and go away but it wasn't going away. so, there you have it. no, i did not almost throw myself out a window but there was the temptation lingering in the back of my mind but katie (kayla) and amanda (alison) were there when all that shit was going on so the thoughts went away. for a while anyway.  
_


	9. The Funeral

_Chapter nine.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

The Funeral  
Chapter Nine

* * *

Since the incident with the window, I was not allowed to be alone in the dark, half-empty corner room until Kara came back. I wasn't even allowed to sleep alone much less in my own dorm room. It was mostly Kayla's fear that she would come to my room (her being the one to wake me up to go to breakfast since she was my neighbor), knock twice (as is customary before entering an unlocked room) and find me dead. As a result, I was shuttled around between rooms nightly.

Word reached mom about how far I had sunk emotionally. Knowing just how emotionally unstable I was negatively, mom hopped on the first train down to see me.

Alison had requested that Kayla, Bo, Bella, Thor and I attend seeing as how one, Maya was our friend and two, we had gotten to know her rather well in a short span of time. I was reluctant to go. Attending her funeral meant I really did need to say good-bye; an action I had been trying to avoid.

"You have to go, honey." Mom said when I told her my decision. "It'll be respectful to the family if you're there. Besides, it's what Maya would want, isn't it?" She reached for me for a third time but I curled up in a tighter ball; staying as far back in a corner as I possibly could while trying to keep the edge of my bed between us.

"How would you know that?" I asked mom. It frustrated me that she was siding with Teresa—who had told me I should go—against me. Her own daughter. "You never even met Maya. How could you possibly know that?"

"You're right. I don't know Maya. I never met her. I don't really know how much she meant to you, but what I do know is she was your best friend. You spoke very fondly of her, Tam, and that puts it in my mind that she was good to you and she treated you right. Unlike all those other kids at your other school you told me about."

I stared at my mom over my hands which I was resting my chin on. _Had I spoken that highly of Maya that mom thought she was a good friend to me?_

I remembered all the good times we had together. Playing in the snow. Walking the trail while we talked. We even had a battle once (Maya won) with our neos. Meals.

All those good times spent together. All the plans we had made for the future. All those dreams dashed. All I had left were memories.

Thinking about them brought tears to my eyes. "I just don't want to say 'good-bye'." I said.

"Oh, honey." Mom said, climbing up onto my bed. She scooped me into her lap (just as Randi had done) and held me there, rocking me from side to side in a slow, rhythmic motion. "Don't think of it as good-bye. Just . . . so long."

"That's not any better." I said.

"But, it'll make you feel better." Mom breathed into my hair. "And remember, she's in a better place. Probably watching you. Just as she has in life, so she will in death."

That phrase brought me comfort. At least a small portion of comfort.

While mom held me, she continued rocking me from side to side; humming "How Great Is Our God".

Although Christianity does not necessarily exist on Neopia, some of the old beliefs, traditions, teachings, and songs still existed. Even a handful of families had bibles of which they studied daily.

"How Great is Our God" was a song that was passed down my family's line until it reached me. By now, I knew the words and rhythm and found myself humming along.

The song stuck in my head even a few days later while I attended the very thing I had no desire to attend; Maya's funeral. I went there with Bella, Bo and Thor. Thor kept his arms on my shoulders as though to provide some comfort.

It actually worked.

Maya's mom, Laura, was there with Dahlia (Maya's younger sister) and Alison (Kayla was there too, hugging Alison rather tightly); standing next to the casket that held the prepared corpse of our friend. She lay there, hands clasped at her stomach and the urn full of China's ashes set in the crook of her left arm. They had lived together now they will be buried together.

I lingered there with Thor still holding me. Not once did he let go. I stared down and Maya's immobile face and tears began to fill my eyes. I knew I couldn't hold it in so I moved away with Thor still holding me.

He led me over to a set of wicker chairs and held me as I cried into the green, school-issued vest. Then, I felt hands on the top of my head.

Looking up, I saw the tear-stained face of Laura, Maya's mother, looking down at me. She knelt and clasped my free hand in both of her's and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You must be Tam." She said.

I nodded.

"Maya had done nothing but speak very fondly of you every time she came home. She said you were a good friend." She dabbed at my damp cheeks with a tissue she had taken from her pocket. "I wish we could've met on a better day under better conditions and not at a funeral for my daughter."

"I know." I said, taking in a shaky breath. "I wish the same as well."

"Alison said . . . this was going to be hard for you." She looked at Thor who was trying his hardest to hold back the tears that threatened to show. "For both of you. She said that you had watched my daughter die. Could you explain how this happened?"

"Alison didn't tell you?" Thor asked, in disbelief.

"She did tell me but I wanted to hear it come from you." Laura said.

I looked away. I didn't want to explain it. I was already reliving that day in my dreams. I didn't want to have to relieve it through explanations.

Instead, Thor explained it while I cradled my head in my hands; rocking back and forth and crying bitterly.

Fangore let out a growl and moved in to lick the tears from my face. I petted his head, willing him to comfort me in a way Thor could not.

"So, it was an accident?" Laura said.

Thor nodded but I shook my head.

"No! It's not! If I hadn't gone up there, she would still be alive! She's dead because of me! I'm the one that's guilty! I'm the idiot! Her blood is on my hands!" My sudden outburst caused many faces to turn toward me. But I didn't care. I was going to get this out sooner or later. Better now than never.

Laura rose and looked me straight in the eye. "You're wrong, Tamara. It's not your fault. How were you to know this would happen?"

I was stumped for an answer.

"It's apparent to me that Maya gave you the greatest gift she could have ever given. She gave you life in exchange for her's. Wouldn't you have done the same?"

I started to shrug but later nodded. I really would have done the same. It was one of my wishes; to either die a natural death (either in my sleep or from a heart attack) or to die if one I loved was in danger of dying.

"It seems to me that you are suffering from a common illness, Tamara. Survivor's guilt. When you make friends, you run the risk of being hurt. Either they will betray you because they care less about you than they do themselves and that will lead to pain. They will betray you because they love you and they want to help you. Or, you will lose them to something as permanent as death. The only thing you can do is make up for that lost time by doing the things you love with them and hope that the imminent is not close by."

That was the most profound way of thinking I had ever heard. Laura could only be as old as my mother and already she was speaking with the knowledge and intellect of one of the village elders. Not even the elders themselves would have been able to tell me the same thing.

Or would they?

"When I first heard the Maya was dead, I was immediately looking for someone to blame. When Alison said she was with you and Thor, I immediately thought of blaming you. But, now I understand that it was an accident; caused by doing an act of bravery that resulted in sheer dumb luck that two of you survived and the death of my daughter by a deadly creature. All in all, it isn't your fault, Tamara. And, it's not Thorley's fault either." Laura said.

"But, I shouldn't have gone up there." I said.

"No. You shouldn't have but you did. From my understanding, you went up there to save your roommate. But, you are paying the ultimate price for it. Social probation. And suffering because you just lost your best friend. You shouldn't be the one to feel guilty, Tamara." She looked up and addressed Bella and Bo who also stood with us now. "None of you should." She turned back to me and enveloped me in the biggest bear hug I had ever received. "I forgive you."

While Maya was being laid in the ground, Bella, Bo, Thor and I stood with Maya's family. Laura held on to me until the casket was lowered out of sight.

* * *

_I have nothing against christianity. i'm a christian myself but, lets face it, christianity is all over the place in our world so why not have a world that has all the basic beliefs and teachings but isn't a widely practiced viewpoint? That's what i was trying to convey here._


	10. For Goodness Sakes, Tam Get Help!

_Chapter Ten.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

"For Goodness Sakes, Tam . . . Get Help!"  
Chapter Ten

* * *

"Hey Tam. You doing any better?" Randi asked me two weeks after Maya's funeral. That was her question everyday. And everyday, my answer was the same.

"No." I shook my head, listening to Sheldon whimper.

We were sitting in Tyrannian lobby. A study group between us was made. Bella, Randi, Cam and I usually studied together. But, as of late, Bella had left us. If I did see her, it usually wasn't for very long. Tonight, much to my surprise, Kara had asked to join us. Cam (who had started the group) shrugged with the response "The more the merrier".

I glanced down at Fangore who was curled up next to my chair with Callaban laying nearby, sleeping. I turned back to the deep stack of homework I had yet to do. One, of which, was notecards for an upcoming exam in Neopian Care-taking Class.

Just as I flipped over a used card, I felt something cold and wet touch my elbow. It was Skittles, Cam's Xweetok. The gold and black creature nuzzled me and pawed at my arm; her honey-colored eyes full of sadness.

I put down my pencil and rubbed Skittles's face. He twittered and purred. His eyes closed as he brushed against my palm. This was only the fifth time Skittles even allowed me to touch him. All five times were when I had a sour face.

And, although I was allowing Skittles to be a comfort to me, I tensed for the question I knew was coming from Skittles's owner.

"Maybe you should see a counsellor?" Camara said, touching my arm with the same, concerned contact she had been giving me lately.

"No." I said, drawing away and slamming my textbook shut. I started cleaning up my homework, muttering about working in the privacy of my room.

"Tam! Wait." Camara begged me as I started to rise. Skittles wrapped himself around my arm as though attempting to keep me from leaving. Fangore lifted his head and growled, warningly. I stopped and looked at Cam. "I didn't mean any offense. It's just . . . we're all worried about you. You've taken Maya's death very hard. You're not the Tamara we know and love."

I shrugged. "Yeah well, watching your best friend die does that to a person."

Sheldon reared back and wrapped his forepaws around my leg just as Randi started speaking; Fangore growled even louder at the Bori. "Tam, look, we only want what's best for you." She rose and clapped me on the shoulders. "You've changed. Not in a good way, but we don't even know who you are anymore."

"People change, Randi." I said.

"Not this bad." Randi said. "And not this fast."

" Look." I said, glaring a all of them. "I've had this conversation before with you guys. I've had it with Bella, Alison, Kayla and even Teresa. I will have this conversation again. I will _not _counselor."

"Just explain why." Kara said.

"I don't like using people." I said. That was, and always will be, my excuse for not seeing a counselor.

"Using people?" Cam sighed and dropped her head on her arms. "Tam! That's what they're there for! That's what their meant to do! It's even offered here for free! Don't tell me you won't take advantage of that!"

"Alright. I won't." I said, petting Skittles in an attempt to make her let go.

"What exactly are you afraid of?" Randi demanded. "There is really no shame in asking for help. Besides, there's some relief if you talk to someone."

"I'm afraid of being too reliant on people." I said.

"They're not going to let you be reliant." Randi said. "They're only going to tell you how best to deal with your depression. And don't tell me you're not depressed."

"Okay, I admit. I'm depressed. But it's not something uncontrollable." I agreed.

"Tam, you can't control everything." Cam said.

"Isn't that what we're learning here?" I asked.

"Not exactly." Kara said. "We're here to learn how to bond with neopets. Both with ours as well as with the other neopets here."

"Anyway." Cam interrupted. "If you're afraid of walking in alone, I'm sure Randi or myself would be willing to walk you to the center. Hell, I would even walk you through the door."

"Well, they would let you walk through the door." Randi said. "Confidentiality issue."

"That's true." Cam said. She looked at me. "Just think about it."

Needless to say, I did think about it. But it still bothered me. To me, counseling was only for people who couldn't deal with their own problems. I only tried to kill myself once and Alison was the one that had stopped me from doing the act.

But, what I hadn't realized was how deep of a hole I had dug. Or how bad I really was. It came as a great shock to me when I realized I couldn't see things the same way I used to. I saw glass bottles not as containers that held my favorite drink—Root Beer—but more as sharp fragments to which to pierce my skin with. Even plastic trash bags had their moments.

Out of fear (since Randi and Cam couldn't shut up about it and talked to Teresa about what was happening to me) the Resident Director came up to my room and took out all the sharp, pointy objects she could find. She even relieved me of my pocket knife-that she knew I had-that was visible within my pocket. She said I could have it back once we were both sure I wasn't a danger to myself. Teresa even spent two hours trying to convince me that I needed to see a counselor but I stubbornly disagreed with her. Eventually, she gave up and left me alone with the words "If you change your mind . . . you know where to find me".

I thought I wouldn't change my mind. In fact, I had brushed aside Teresa's offer. I thought I was okay.

But, none of it was worse than the day I went down to the reflection pond.

It was a clear, warm day. A Friday. And one of my favorite days of the week, no less. I was laying on my stomach on my bed, cushioned only by my ancient pillow. My textbook on Neopian Health and Fitness lay open while I took notes on Mynci exercise techniques. I was fine studying alone in the comfort and silence of my room. Kara had gone to the training field with Callaban, which suited me just fine.

I had no idea I was going to be receiving a visit from Alison.

"Hey, Tam." She said.

I jerked my head around to look at Ali. "Yes?" I said, wincing. I had been having hard pains in my sides which could go unexplained. The pain was dull now due to some of the painkillers the school nurse had given me.

"What'cha doin'?" She asked.

"Homework." I told her.

"Okay." She walked around to the foot of my bed to look me straight in the face. "I was just wondering if . . . if . . ."

I knew she wouldn't finish her sentence without a little bit of prodding. "Yes?"

"Well, Kayla and I are going down to the pond and to the block party today. I think you should come along." Alison said.

I put my pencil down. "I might consider it." I said. "It's just, I don't party."

"You won't have to." Alison said. "Just come and hang out with me, Kayla and Amanda."

I rolled my eyes. A few weeks before Maya's death, Alison and Kayla had started hanging out with an upperclassmen named Amanda. She had brought a lot of comfort to Alison by providing a distraction. The group did a lot of things together. I had met Amanda and I thought she seemed like a nice enough person. But I still didn't know whether I could call her friend or not.

"What do you say?" Alison said. "You wanna come down with us?"

"When?"

"Now?"

"Maybe."

"Okay. Get your stuff." Alison said, excitedly.

"Now wait a minute. I said 'maybe'. That doesn't really mean 'yes'."

"But it doesn't mean 'no' either." Alison argued.

Well, couldn't argue with that logic. Beside, Alison and Kayla only invited me along if they actually remembered I existed. Living in a corner room was a curse. It was out of the way and people never stopped to visit. Not unless if you asked them to. Only Kayla—if she had time and she thought to come my way—and Alison—usually at Kayla's request—would come see me, their lowly and depressive friend.

However, I was just as happy sitting (or—in this case—laying) in my room and doing homework as I was working with a group. Technically, I preferred to work alone. As expertly put by both Maya and Bella, I was a loner.

But what force drove Alison to invite me along was unknown to me. It didn't happen very often but when it did, it never ceased to surprise me.

Sighing, I packed my things (wincing every time I moved at my midsection) and left the room with Fangore trotting at my heels.

We met with Kayla who had already laid out beach towels on the grass for us to lay on. We chose the shade of a big beech tree to protect us from the blistering heat of the sun. Kayla lay on her belly and read her book while Alison took a nap. I lay and did my homework while listening to the wind over the water. Just as I finished with my notes. A thought occurred to me.

Getting up, I stripped off my shoes and socks, rolled up the legs of my trousers, and marched over to the pond. Sticking my feet in the water, I shuddered due to the cold that seeped into my bones. Before I knew what I was doing, I took a deep breath and dove in.


	11. Alright I give

_Chapter Eleven. Interesting twist here. Also happens to be around the same time i decided to go talk to somebody and Rebecca (Randi) went with me to Tracy (Teresa) to provide moral support while i asked about getting a councilor.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

"Alright. I Give."  
Chapter Eleven

* * *

I sank like a rock to the bottom of the pond. I felt the concrete floor beneath my butt before starting to resurface. I let my breath out slowly, hoping that neither Kayla nor Alison would think to look for me just yet.

Then, a curious thing happened. When I opened my eyes, I saw the ghostly image of Maya floating before me. Her right forearm glistening with the scares of the glass cuts I had treated back in October. Her brown eyes locked onto mine. Her Mynci, China, still balanced on her shoulder.

"It's not worth it, Tamara. It's not worth it." She said. She reached out and touched my forehead with two fingers. "Think of all the people who are going to miss you if you go."

Once more, I thought of Mam and Pap. Surely they would miss me.

I thought of Mom being stuck with a loafer like Codax.

I thought of all the people I met and made friends with: Alison, Bella, Camara, Bo, Randi, Thor, Kayla. Even Kara had just begun to get on my good side. What would they do?

I knew for a fact that Thor would be the most likely to follow me. He really only had me and Bo to fall back on. And, during the time after Maya's funeral, Thor and I had gotten extremely close. He checked with me daily to make sure I was okay.

As for the rest of them, I didn't know how they would react.

I knew that suicide was a selfish act. I also knew that it tended to start chain-reactions. I knew that it was viewed as bad and so terrible to throw your life away needlessly. But what could I do? I was still living with the guilt of knowing I was the reason Maya had died. Every night, my dreams were haunted by her face just before it plummeted down to the grove.

Just then, I felt hands loop under my armpits. My head cleared the pond and I blew water from my lips. With my eyes closed, I still saw Maya.

"Go back, Tam. Your friends still need you. Your time's not up yet. Go back."

"Tamara! You are so stupid!" Kayla scolded me, throwing the beach towel I was using over me. I shivered, the water had been cold. "What were you trying to do? Shake hands with God?"

"Not quite." I laughed, nervously. I looked up into Alison's concerned face. "I saw your sister."

Alison blinked. "What do you mean you saw my sister?"

"I mean, I saw her on the other side." I said. I explained everything that I saw.

"So, you had a near-death experience." Kayla said. It wasn't a question.

I shrugged; tugging the towel tighter around my shoulders, shivering. "Most likely." I said.

Alison knelt before me. "Tam. Tam, look at me." I looked at her. "How long have these thoughts of suicide been going on?"

"Not long." I said.

"Since the window?" Alison said.

"No. That was an isolated incident."

"Then for how long?"

I remained silent. Not willing to tell her that it was four and a half weeks that this had been going on. Only because I knew what their response would be.

Splash—Kayla's Lutari—crawled up onto Kayla's shoulder and growled something into his Mistress's ear.

"Four and a half weeks?" Kayla said.

I looked over my shoulder at Fangore who was looking quite guilty. "Thanks ever so much, Fangore." I said, sarcastically.

"They want to help you, Mistress." Fangore said. "Besides, if you go, so will I and I don't want to die just yet."

I could see where he was going with this. "I still don't like people fussing over me. And I don't want help."

"Whether you want it or not, we'd like to see you get some help." Alison said.

"But you know I won't." I said.

"Booger, leave her alone." Kayla told Alison.

I almost laughed. I'd never heard anyone call Alison "Booger" before. But, I bit my tongue to keep from smiling.

"You know she's only going to get bullheaded and stubborn." Kayla continued.

Alison nodded. "Just think about it." she said.

I followed them both back to the beech tree but sat out in the sun to dry. When we went back to the dorm, I changed and we went to supper.

Amanda met us there. She greeted Kayla and Alison with high-fives and smiles. When she saw me, she nodded. "Hello again, Tamara." she said.

"Hello, Amanda." I said. "How're you?"

"I'm good. And you?"

"Fine." I said. This was how it always started between me and Amanda. But, for some reason, I suspected that Amanda only let me join them because of Kayla and Alison.

"Tam is going to hang out with us tonight." Kayla said, resting her elbow on my shoulder. "Hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." Amanda said, her green eyes still on my face. "Any friend of your's is a friend of mine."

I didn't relax. I didn't like the way she was still watching me or how she said that. Everything she said or did around me left goosebumps up my arms.

While we ate, I stayed out of their conversations; still contemplating what I had seen. I thought about my grandparents, mom, and brother. I thought of the friends I had made here. Even the people I had met before coming here. Yes, those were the same people that had made fun of me: dropping me in the dumpster or shutting me in the lockers, tossed my textbooks in the toilet, ripped up my notes. I wondered if any of them would even care. They probably didn't even know I was still around.

After the Block Party, we went over to Amanda's apartment and had ice cream. Then, I headed back tot he dorm alone after promising Kayla I would still be alive when they got back.

Randi crossed paths with me as I headed upstairs to my room.

"Hey, Tam." she hailed.

I stopped with my foot on the bottom step. "Hey, Randi." I said, not looking at her.

Randi leaned against the wall by the stairwell. "So, uh, Alison tells me you through yourself in the pond. Is that true?"

I nodded. "Unfortunately."

Randi glared at me and I looked away. "Why?"

I shrugged. "Just wanted to see if I could do it."

"That's not a reason." Randi scolded, Sheldon growling at Fangore.

"Well it is to me." I said, Fangore growling back at Sheldon.

"And?" Randi asked.

"And, I decided to talk to Teresa about getting in to see a counselor." I hung my head, almost shamefully. "But, I wouldn't know where to begin."

Randi nodded. Then, she took my hand. "Come with me." She led me back out ot the lobby to Teresa's apartment.

Teresa was at the kitchen table playing a card game with a friend of hers when Randi knocked on the door.

"Hello girls." Teresa said, smiling at us.

"Teresa, can we talk to you? Alone?" I asked, seeing her friend.

"Oh, okay." Teresa looked at her friend. "Would you mind leaving the room for a moment?"

"Sure. I'll come back when you call me." She said, rising and going into the living room.

"What can I help you girls with?" Teresa asked.

"I'm just here for moral support." Randi said, crossing her arms at my shoulders. It's Tam that needs your help."

"What do you need Tam?" Teresa asked.

I met her gaze. "Alright. I give. I want to see a counselor."


	12. Jessica

_Chapter Eleven. I think i might have my data mixed up when i wrote this b/c i don't remember if rebecca and crystal (camara) actually went with me when i went to the councelling center or not. anyway, enjoy.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

Jessica  
Chapter Twelve

* * *

The following morning, Camara and Randi woke me up not long after sunrise. Last night, Teresa pulled a few strings and got me an early placement to see a counselor. That placement was a the ninth hour of the morning during the weekend.

Camara threw herself at me in a massive bearhug that was so hard, I felt my spine crack in three places. "Thank you for choosing a safe route." she said.

I waited for my breath to come back while Randi gave me a firm but much gentler hug that didn't wind or hurt me.

They waited for me to dress before setting off, arm in arm. Randi led us up to the second floor of the cafeteria building. Before long, I saw the black sign hanging over a big wooden door. White letters told me we were in the right place. I hesitated, having no real desire to walk into a strange place with strange people and talk to someone one on one about what was really bothering me.

Randi touched me on my head, then her hand dropped down to my shoulder blades. She let me taking in a deep, shaky breath. "It's okay, Tammy." She said. "Tell you what, spend a little time in here and we'll have breakfast together."

"Tammy?" I asked. No one ever called me Tammy. I had nothing against the new nickname. It caught me by surprise that she said it.

"Just thought I'd call you something different. Tam's just too ordinary. Hoped you wouldn't mind." Randi said.

I shook my head. "No, it's fine. You just surprised me is all." I brushed back my bangs and sighed deeply. "Okay. Where should I meet you?"

Camara pointed around the bend. "On the benches over there." She squeezed my elbow, encouragingly. "Take your time. We'll wait for you as long as you need us to. You've been suffering long enough. It's time you were healed."

"No argument there." I muttered. I was still very much reluctant to walk in alone. Even with Fangore with me, I was still feeling a little exposed or unprepared. And I was usually prepared for almost anything.

"It'll be okay." Randi said. "If we could go in with you we would but they'll turn us aside. For now, you're on your own."

"I know. Thanks anyway." I said. With that, I went in.

The counseling center was basically empty. The place itself was oblong fronted by a l-shape desk. A yellow Mynci watched us come in before tittering a warning to its owner. The receptionist looked up.

"Hello. How may I help you?" she asked, cheerfully. She expressed the emotion of joy I did not feel.

"Hi. I, um, I'm new here. My RD called last night announcing my request to get help." I said.

"Oh yes. You must be Tamira." the receptionist said.

"No, it's Tamara." I said.

"Oh. My apologizes. The reception here is poor so I thought your name had an i."

"Don't worry. Happens all the time." I lied.

The receptionist walked around the desk and asked me to fill out and sign a few papers; documents for their records, basically.

After waiting a few minutes, I was greeted by a woman who was flanked by a Gelert. She accepted the papers the receptionist gave her before turning to me.

"Tamara?" she asked.

I nodded and rose.

"I'm Jessica. But you can call me Jess. I'm going to be your counselor." She shook my hand and I followed her back into her office.

It was a simple get-up; a desk and two chairs. Her desk had compartments fileld with folders of different clients. As Jess shut the door behind me, I felt trapped. Cornered even. I took the vacant cushioned chair and lay draped over it while watching her fill out a new sheet and look over the ones I had done.

I waited patiently while Jess scanned the papers with an expert eye. Finally, she placed the papers on a shelf by her chair.

"So, Tamara." She said, resting her folded hands over her folded legs. "Just a little information about me. I have been a Neo-trainer for about ten years. My neopet is this Gelert, Sandy." She touched the head of the yellow Gelert; right between the erect ears. The creature gave a friendly bark, then panted; pink tongue lolling out from his heavy, white jaws. "While I was in school, I also underwent counseling. It's helped me and I hope it will help you. So, I will try to make this as painless as possible for the both of us."

I nodded but didn't respond.

"Tell me about yourself." Jess said.

Before I knew what I was doing, my entire life rolled off my lips. I told her about my family, how I found Fangore (or rather how he found me), and what happened while I was at school. Thirteen years laid out in about fifteen minutes. All the while, Jess wrote everything I said in a notebook. When I finished, she looked up.

"So, about your father. Do you feel resentment toward him for leaving your family?"

I shrugged. "A little. I've never really thought about it much. Dad said he was going to look for something better, but he would send us his earnings. We received two paychecks out of the nine years he had been serving on NEO." Now that I thought about it, I did feel resentment towards the man who fathered me. After all, he had just randomly up and left one morning before dawn without so much as a "see you later". Mom was torn up over it. But, she had somehow managed to get by with only the clinic to keep her occupied.

"Yeah. I do feel resentment towards him. He left when I was barely four and never came back. If that doesn't kick you in the rear I don't know what will." My voice was louder than I wanted it to be. Fangore licked my forearm to get me to quiet down a little.

"Tell me about your brother, Codax." Jess said. "How did he react to this leave of absence?"

"He was almost eight. He didn't get it anymore than I did." I said. "But, the older he got the more bitter and resentful he became. He pretty much blamed Mom for everything."

"Were your father and brother close?"

I snorted. "Are you kidding? Dad was Codax's mentor. I mean, Codax was born with a mild form of dyslexia. He can't read words shorter than four letters. Dad helped him with that. Pulled some strings at the local school and got him a SEP."

"SEP?"

"Special Education Program."

"Ah." Jess scribbled something in her notebook.

"Yeah. Codax looked up to Dad. But, when Dad left, Codax felt a little abandoned because Dad promised to take him places."

"And, what about you? Do you feel abandoned? Angry?"

"Well, I feel angry that Dad left without explaining why. But, I feel more like he abandoned Mom more than me."

"So, you feel like he didn't care about you?"

"Oh, I know he didn't care about me. He wanted another little boy. But, he got a girl instead. I knew he was disappointed I was a girl because he never did anything with me."

"Are you sure that's not just you talking?" Jess asked.

"I'm sure." I said, fixing my position again in the hard chair. "You can ask my mother if you don't believe me."

"I'd rather not bring your mother into this so I'll take your word for it." Jess said, giving me a weak smile. I realized, then, that counseling was a privacy matter. Even kept secret from one's own family. "So, Tamara . . ."

"You can call me Tam or Tammy if you'd like." I said. I suddenly like the idea of being called Tammy. Even after Randi's minor slip-up.

"Very well. So, Tammy. When did these thoughts of suicide start?"

"The day my best friend died." I said.

"You mean the one that was killed by Eyries?"

"Yes."

"How well did you know her?"

"Well enough to call her my best friend." I said, tears staring to fall. I always cried whenever I thought of Maya. Even the sound of her name dug a deep hole in my chest and the waterworks usually started.

"Did you get along?"

"Yes. A little too well." I said. "We shared all kinds of things. She was . . . she was almost like a sister to me. I mean, we practically went everywhere together. We had the same interests. Like, the fact that we both wanted to be great Neo-Trainers. Noth of us had parents that were separated. We both lived with our mothers. . . ."

"Sounds like you had a lot in common." Jess said.

I nodded, accepting the tissue Jess had passed my way. "Yeah. Yeah we did." I wiped my eyes and sniffed into the papery hankie. "We were supposed to be roommies next year. Maya was someone I could fall back on if things got rough. And, somehow, she always knew when I was getting lonely and she would come visit." My voice became choked. I cleared it a little and leaned my head back. "Maya was always there for me when I needed her."

"So, you feel like you lost your support." Jess said.

I nodded, accepting a second tissue.

"Tell me something, Tam. Were you there when the Eyries attacked or had someone told you what happened?"

"I was there. I watched her die. I watched her disappear over the cliff." I saw the image very clearly in my head. I saw the same, shocked look she gave me as she disappeared.

"How come you were not injured?"

"She pushed me down." I said.

"So, she sacrificed her life for your's?"

"So they say."

"How does that make you feel?"

"How do you think it makes me feel, I'm talking to you aren't I?" I snapped.

"Hmm." she mused, looking down at her notes; not the least upset that I had screamed at her. "It seems to me, Tam, that your life meant more to her than her's meant to herself. You should be happy to have had a friend like Maya. Not many have the gall to do what she did. And that, Tamara, is what may of us call 'love'."

I said nothing. Eight years of getting crap at my local school taught me that love was a real waste of time. I had heard "I love you, Tamara" from Mom every night before going to sleep as she tucked me in. But, did love really exist between people outside of families? Was there another force behind Maya's actions? Why would she push me down knowing her own life was at stake? Would she have pushed me down at all if she had the choice?

"I would say that you're guilt-tripping. It's quite common for people who have endured much trauma. You are also suffering from something called 'Survivor's Guilt'. War-time folks have endured the same things only from far worse situations than your's. They have watched their buddies being shot down and killed in wars. So, think of it this way, people have endured far worse than you."

I took in a deep, shuttering breath.

"Another thing, Tam. Let's role-play. Put yourself in Maya's position. If both of you were alive today and your places were switched, would you have done the same? Would you—as the Earth-inhabitants say-'take a bullet for your friend'?"

I considered it. _This time, I played the image differently; putting myself in Maya's position. Truthfully, I was very much afraid of death; afraid of the unknown really. But, this time, I saw the Eyrie attacking just as Maya was rising from Kara's inert form._

"_Maya! Look out!" I cried and pushed hard against her back; catching her completely off balance and causing her to fall flat on her belly._

_I imagined that the tail was big and heavy; with enough muscle power to wind an Elephante. As it struck me, I was sent flying over the cliff edge. At first, the sensation of flying was exhilarating. But, as I started to drop, my insides began to come up and a vomiting feeling ensued._

"Well?" Jess asked.

I opened my eyes, not realizing I had closed them. I nodded. "Yes. Yes I would've done the same." I said.

"I want you to keep that in mind next time we meet. Perhaps next Thursday at three?"

"Yeah. Three o'clock is good." I said. "Thank you, Jess. For listening, I mean."

"You're welcome." Jess said, handing me an appointment card.

As I left the office and met Randi and Cam where they said they would be, I felt very relaxed. Almost like a two-ton weight had just been lifted off my shoulders.

Even Randi noticed I was relaxed after giving me and hug when she saw my tear-stained face.


	13. This is my Fight

_Chapter Thirteen. It's a little short but i hope you can forgive me. it just seemed so right to leave it off at a cliffhanger.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

This is my fight  
Chapter Thirteen

* * *

The weeks following my session with Jessica was both stressful and long. The upside was, people no longer skirted around me. Everyone, except Bella that is.

Hostilities between me and my former friend grew to a near-bloodbath. It even gotten to the point where our neopets no longer greeted each other in passing and glares were exchanged between Bella and me. I soon became aware (from Thor's description) that Bella blamed us for Maya's death. But, most of her anger and frustration was directed at me.

I brought this up in my forth meeting with Jess.

"There might be a reason behind her accusations." Jess said.

"Like the fact that Thor and I were up there with her?" I asked.

"That's a possibility." Jess nodded, sagely. "But I don't think that's it."

I was silent. Blaming me for going up on the mountain was bad enough. Adding to that blame was overkill.

"Tell me, Tam, when you got back to campus, what did you do?"

"I told Teresa what happened and went to my room." I said, flatly.

"So, you didn't seek Bella and tell her."

"No."

"She found out herself."

"Yes."

Jess didn't say anything for a while. I could tell she was thinking through the multiple possibilities before coming up with an an answer. "Therein lays the problem, Tam."

"What?"

"See, when you are in a group, members of the group count on each other to tell one another if something happened to one of there number." Jess explained. "In the same sense, Bella counted on you to tell her when there was something with Maya. Just as she would count on Maya to tell her if there was something wrong with you." She paused. "Now do you understand?"

"A little." I said, touching the tip of Fangore's ear.

"So, in Bella's mind, you weren't a true enough friend because you said nothing. You did not go to her and tell her what happened. You did not even to offer to cry with her."

"Cry with her?" I asked.

"It's more healing than crying alone." Jess said.

"I cried with her at the body viewing and the funeral!" I said.

"Yes, but you didn't cry with her the day of Maya's death." Jess said.

My jaw snapped shut. I glared at my counselor. Of all the times to pay attention, she chose now.

"We had a mourning ceremony in the dorm lobby that night." I said, trying to defend myself.

"Did you cry with her then?" Jess asked.

"No."

"Why?"

"She wasn't there." I said. I had remembered Bella coming back a few minutes before midnight. The ceremony had been done and the lobby was almost empty. Thor was still there; holding me while we both cried. I remembered looking up, face streaked with tears, and seeing Bella come in. She said she had been down at the pond, thinking. We had a group hug, but only I cried.

"Where did she go?" Jess's voice cut through my memory like a blade.

"The pond." I said.

"Suicide?"

"No. She wasn't injured or even damp." I said.

"So, she was just there thinking."

"I guess." I said, snuggling deeper into the chair.

"Do you think that your friendship with Bella will ever be mended?"

I snorted. "Probably not." Fangore whimpered. "We're both stubborn and bull-headed. It's gonna be a challenge."

"Just try." Jess encouraged.

I nodded, though, in truth, I had no desire to mend my friendship with Bella. She had accused me of untruthful things before (jokingly or not) but I was sure I could not stand it without Maya there. She had acted as a buffer between us.

Jess rustled through some papers until she came up with a poster. It was one of many hanging on every post and wall around campus. The poster advertised practice Battledome fights that took place twice a year between two students until one was the winner.

"Tam, you are aware of the competitions coming up, right?"

I nodded.

"Have you considered signing up?"

I shook my head.

"Anyone can apply, Tam." Jess said. "The year end competition is attended by the bosses of the Neo-Trainers League. They are ones that decide who would be good Trainers and who need more practice. They do this by judging a combatants fighting techniques and how they hold themselves in battle. If you're really good, the NTL will even order an early graduation for you."

"Do they have that much power?" I asked.

"The NTL built this place. They designed the rules, the layout, and the guidelines for living as a Trainer." Jess said.

"And you think I should apply." I said.

"Yes." Jess put the poster aside. "Tam, in the short time I've known you, I think the competition would do you good. You have a lot of character and you have wonderful insight. That will take you far."

I leaned my head back as far as it would go. I let out a loud sight and closed my eyes. The competition would keep my mind off things. Plus, the sooner I got away from the school and the memories of me and Maya the better.

My eyes opened. "This is my fight." I said. "I'll sign up."

"Good." Jess smiled. "The sheet comes out in two days. It's a 'first come, first serve' basis. I'll be in the stands when my schedule is free."

"Thanks Jess." I said.

When the sheet came out, I was one of the first ones to sign up. Within twenty-four hours, Fangore and I became third in the list of combatants. But my opponent decided to go anonymous. Kara was first facing off Jason. I wished my roommate luck. Kara smiled and thanked me before taking off to the training field with Callaban to practice.

Two weeks later, the fake Battledome field was filled with excited fans, locals, parents, and students (who either hadn't applied or their time wasn't up yet) lined the stands.

Kara peeked out of the gateway and gasped.

"I see them! Tam, I see the bosses!" She grabbed my shoulder in a vice-like grip.

I winced and pulled away from my nervous roommie. "Calm down, Kara." I advised. "I'm sure you'd do fine."

Kara checked her complexion in the polished surface of a decorated shield. Then, she knelt and adjusted the leather armor Callaban was wearing. She patted the cap adorning the Dire Lupe's head. "Okay, Callaban. Let's show those bosses what we're made of."

Callaban let out a thunderous bark and licked his mistress's sweaty face. Then, they sauntered out just as their names were called.

Kara did rather well against Jason. So did the group ahead of us. But, when our names were called, I was dumbfounded over who our opponent was.


	14. The Battle is not Ours

_Chapter Fourteen. The title may or may not have come from VeggiTales: Esther. I love that song.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

"The Battle is not Ours"  
Chapter Fourteen

* * *

There was no mistaking that mop of frizzy, brown and blond hair. Or the cruel, malicious glare in those deep, hazel eyes. A swagger snuck into her gait as she strutted to the center of the field. Her Scorchio, clad in leather armor, walked with the same, unsightly swank.

"Bella! What are you doing?" I cried, freezing only a few meters out of the archway.

Fangore froze, too. He panted between whimpers; white-tipped tail tucked between his knees. "Mistress! I can't do it! I can't fight Firetail!"

His apprehension made me nauseous. I felt my stomach turn over and my mouth filled with bitter bile. I bit my tongue to keep from throwing up. "I know, Fang. I'm sorry. I should have known or realized it before." My eyes locked on Bella; witnessing a cold sneer creeping up on her face. "She wants to do more than blame me for everything. She wants to hurt me any way she can."

"And the best way is by hurting me." Fangore finished. His weight shifted from paw to paw. I knew he was uncomfortable with having to fight Firetail. He still considered Firetail a friend. Fangore didn't fight his friends just out-of-the-blue.

I called a time-out and a prissy referee sauntered over as I started to make my way to the center.

"Is there a problem?" the ref. asked.

I ignored him. My attention focused completely on Bella. "Why?" I asked her. "Why are you doing this? Is it not enough that I'm suffering for Maya's death?"

"No." Bella answered, smirking.

"What more can you possibly want with me?" I demanded.

"I want to see you hurt so badly you'll wish you'd never heard of me." Bella said.

"Look, Bella. This isn't the way to go about this. Maya was my best friend, too. I was there to watch her die. I wish it hadn't happened but it did and I can't change that."

"Why did you take her up there then?" Bella demanded, the cold smile now gone.

"I didn't. She said she was going to come with me. She didn't care about the consequences. She went with me because she wanted to. I didn't make her. I tried to talk her out of it."

"It's still your fault she died." Bella said. Her words sounding like a steel, fire-stirrer had been jammed in my heart. I spent so long blaming myself that it no longer mattered when I said it. But, to hear it from my former friend hurt. I knew that old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt" did not apply here.

I was trying to reason Bella out of it. I knew she had been looking for an opportunity to publicly humiliate me; make me feel worse than I already am. Whatever reason or method behind her madness, I knew I was going to suffer. Which was precisely what she wanted.

"I'm not going to take the blame anymore." I said, darkly. I glared at her to make myself clear. "I'm not taking the blame and neither is Thor. And, I'm not going to assist you in any means to publicly humiliate me." My fingers wound around the knot holding a blue band to my wrist. I started to undo it. "Find someone else to pick on. I'm not your scapegoat anymore."

I had only taken a few steps back to my archway when the ref's shrill voice forced me to stop. "If you leave now, Blue player, you will have forfeited the game."

I turned to him. "Can't you switch me with another player?"

The ref shook his head. "No. The matches are set player to player. There can be no changes."

Bella snorted. "Just goes to show that you're a coward. Always have been and always will be."

"I'm not a coward." I snarled and Fangore bristled at Firetail; fur standing out like millions of tiny needles.

"Then why are you running away?"

"I'm not running away. I'm through with this petty war between us."

"You're always running away when something happens or when things get tough." Bella retorted. "That's called 'cowardice'."

"No, that's called 'I'm gonna take this shoe and jam it up your butt' if you don't quit your little blame game." I snapped.

"Then what do you propose?" Bella polished her fingernails on her emerald-green Trainer's vest. "You obviously have your pride and I don't think you really want to forfeit the game. Make me a proposition."

I thought about it. "If I win, you have to stop blaming me and Thor for everything."

"Sounds reasonable." Bella said. "But, what happens if I win?"

I paused. My other choice was giving her exactly what she wanted. "If you win," I exhaled, deeply. "I take all the blame."

Her eyes lit up and her hand shot out. "Deal."

A time-in was called and the fight began.

What I hadn't noticed about Bella was, she directed Firetail with a crack of her whip instead of order techniques. Over cheers, ooh's, and ahh's of exstatic fans, I screamed techniques at Fangore until I was hoarse. My throat tight with yelling. Every muscle in my body ached as Fangore rolled about in the dirt; keeping excellent holds on Firetail with his teeth and paws. Wounds were inflicted on both in this full-out brawl.

Now I understood what Professor Nielson meant about Battledome fights. "In the Battledome, you can feel what your neopet is feeling. Sometimes, this drives people to insanity."

I felt every little tooth and claw that Firetail set into Fangore. My own skin prickled unpleasantly and turned a bright and unhealthy red.

Finally, the two combatants broke away. I saw the perfect opportunity to try a legendary maneuver.

"ICE PAW!" I cried.

Fangore's paws turned white and froze into two, large chunks of ice. Rearing back, Fangore hit Firetail on both sides of the head, rendering the Scorchio monetarily dazed.

"FLURRY KICK!" Came my next command.

Fangore performed a neat, side-step then lashed out with his hind paw. The muddled Scorchio was sent flying back to the arena wall. The back of his head cracked against the wall and he crumpled into an unconscious heap.

For a moment, neither of us moved. A loud gasp erupted among the onlookers. Bella turned back to me; her face a hard mask of absolute fury. She raised the whip as though she was about to swing it at me.

"Cheater!" she cried.

"How did I cheat?" I asked. Ice Paw and Flurry Kick were legal and legitimate moves. There was nothing in the rules that said I couldn't use them.

"I don't know how you cheated but you did! You will pay for that, Tamara! I swear you will!" She marched off, pausing only to scoop the senseless Scorchio from the dirt.

I had won. But I felt no victory. I was so exhausted and sore from the fight, my bed now beckoned me.

I ignored the ref who was trying to grab my arm and raise it above my head. His constant fumbling annoyed me. I turned away from him and glared at him until he left me alone.

Fangore lay in the dirt; side heaving. I could tell he was exhausted. I could feel it seeping from him. I knelt by his side and gently touched his flank. "Let me carry you." I offered.

"No, Mistress." Fangore said, rising to his feet. "I can walk." But he leaned into me and I attempted to steady him.

"You're tired." I observed.

"So are you." Fangore said.

"You're in no condition to walk back on your own, four feet."

"I'll be fine, Mistress." Fangore answered. I could feel his pride washing over me.

I touched him on the shoulders, enforcing the idea. "Fang, you did so much for me. Let me do something for you."

"Alright." Fangore said as I lifted him onto my shoulders. I carried him, army style, back to the dorm; staggering under the weight. We mounted the stairs, I carried him into the room and slowly deposited him on the table so that I could work on him better.

Other than a few, miner scratches, bite marks, and bruises, Fangore was fine. I cleaned him of any blood traces and washed his wounds. Then, I checked his paws. There were only a few traces of frost bite on the rough pads. Nothing too major.

Then, I lowered him to his bed and he curled up in a tight ball; quickly going to sleep.

I grabbed a change of clothes from my footlocker, filled Fangore's bowl with food (topped off with a treat) and hurried off to the bathroom with my clothes and cleaning supplies in hand.

The warm shower loosened my tight and aching muscles; washing the sweat from my skin. I washed until battle trace were gone. Then, I stepped out. Water running down my sunburnt skin in tiny, clear beads. My hair stuck together in thick, black clumps. I changed into clean, dry clothes and went back to my room.

I was surprised to see Mom and Teresa there. Mom wrapped me in an enormous bearhug; swinging me around until the soles of my feet brushed the wall. Teresa only tousled my hair.

Kara was in the room, too, fixing up Callaban as I had with Fangore. Kara was smiling and she gave me a hug (the first ever from her which surprised me) and Callaban's tongue brushed my knuckles.

Teresa told us just how proud she was of us; saying that we couldn't have represented the Academy or Tyrannia Dorm any better.

"Thank you, Teresa." Kara and I said.

Teresa was bubbling with enthusiasm. It appeared that any moment, she was going to burst.

"There's more?" Kara asked.

"The Bosses are pleased with both of you. They want to speak with you. Now."


	15. The Boss's Verdict

_Chapter fifteen.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

The Boss's Verdict  
Chapter Fifteen

* * *

My heart was pounding like a big, bass drum behind my sternum. Butterflies fluttered around in my stomach and I felt a wild twisting like someone was knotting my entrails. I couldn't breathe. I was shaking.

Kara was absolutely ecstatic. There was an extra spring to her step and she couldn't help but smile. She bit her bottom lip and her cheeks turned a bright pink. Both our Lupes panted uncontrollably at our heels.

There were seven of them. Three men and four women. Each one had a different neopet on their shoulders, at their sides or hips. The head boss was wearing a long cloak made of violet satin clasped to the shoulders of his red vest. He was flanked by a massive, blue Draik. The boss stood forward and spread his arms wide; head thrown back for dramatic effect.

"Welcome, students of the Academy. For this last year, you both have been tried and tested; taught how best to train your neopets. Today, you have proven yourselves to be among the best that this academy has to offer." He reached out and touched us on our heads. To me, this sounded a little to routine. Too ritualistic. "We—I mean, the bosses—have decided to grant you both early graduations due to your courage, means of winning, and trust in your neopets." He stepped back and his female deputy stepped in. She had a green Mynci hanging on her shoulder.

Opening a folder marked with Kara's name, she looked at me. "Kara?"

I shook my head, wordlessly. My eyes on her Mynci; for a moment I was remembering China and tears came to my eyes as I thought of the yellow Mynci. I was thinking of all the fun times I spent with Maya and China that I almost didn't hear what Kara was talking about.

" . . . I was going to apply for the year-end competition last year but, as you can see, my neo is a Dire Lupe." Kara said.

"Yes. We have noticed that you own an illegal neopet." The she-boss said.

"Technically, it's not illegal if you can actually tame it. And I did manage to tame Callaban." Kara argued.

"True." the she-boss said. "You still didn't not answer my question about why you didn't enter the competition last year."

Kara sighed, then hung her head, admittedly. "When I first got Callaban, he was nearly impossible to control. He would attack anything that moved and I had to use drastic measures to teach him manners. I was afraid he would kill any neopet he came up against. So I decided to wait a year before entering him. I just worked with him extra hard this year."

"A wise decision." the boss said. "And wisdom is something we expect all Neo-Trainers to use." She looped a medallion around Kara's neck. "You graduate next Sunday in the afternoon. Better be prepared."

Kara blushed, nodded her thanks, and backed up with Callaban to stand against the wall.

The boss now turned to me and I felt my throat tighten with nervousness. "Tamara. You have also done well. Quite unexpectedly for a First-Year student."

I nodded my thanks but suspected there was more to her praise than what I heard.

"Unfortunately, Tamara, your file mentions that you're a year too young for the Academy. We normally don't allow people under thirteen to enter. How did you manage to come in at such an early age?"

To me, twelve wasn't that early. I could've come in at age nine or ten but guess that would be pushing my luck.

I quickly explained how Fangore and I came together and what the Neopian Counsel had done to let me in. It surprised me that they changed my records back after my acceptance into the Academy.

The boss nodded, understandingly. "Makes sense since your neopet is one of the fighting ones." She crossed her arms firmly over her chest. Her Mynci copying his mistress. "Well, Tamara. Are you going to graduate early?"

I looked at all the interested faces of the people around me. I could see all of my closest friends. For a moment, I thought about saying yes—just like I intended to when Jess suggested I sign up for the competition. But, for some reason yet unknown to me, something was holding me back.

I thought about Maya. I thought about how she would feel if I was going to graduate and she wasn't. Though, I doubted that the bosses wouldn't let her graduate early. Maya was extremely talented. I wondered if maybe, just maybe, we would be graduating together.

I could imagine us hugging and jumping around, excitedly. I could almost see myself—with Fangore of course—wearing the bright, red vest of a fully fledged Trainer. I could see myself working with neopets of all kinds; teaching them to fight and obey any order that was given to them. Indeed, I did want to be famously known as the youngest Trainer Neopia has ever seen.

But, there was something about graduating early with only two years education under my belt that didn't appeal to me. Yes, I did know more about neopets than most kids my age. I knew their anatomy. I knew the races. I knew how to control them. But, something just didn't feel right about an early graduating.

"Will you graduate early?" The boss demanded again.

_No._ I thought.

"What?" The bosses were all surprised. I hadn't realized I had said the word aloud.

I straightened up; boldly looking the she-boss in her hard, green eyes. "I said 'no'." I repeated.

Teresa walked around to face me; her face a mask of disbelief. "Tam, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You do realize you're throwing that all away, right?"

"I know, Teresa." I said, nodding. "But, unlike most people who would jump the gun at the first opportunity, I can't graduate early. I won't be satisfied on only two years education. I need to full three."

"We congratulate you on your wisdom. At least think about it." The she-boss said.

I nodded, though in my mind, I had already made my decision.


	16. Last Day of School

_Chapter Sixteen. Most of this is true.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

Last Day of School  
Chapter Sixteen

* * *

The last week of school was a sad one; full of studying for finals, turning in homework, and packing to go home. Truthfully, I had no desire to go home. But, at the same time, I did.

I did because I wanted to get away from all the memories. An extended vacation could be good for me. Working at the clinic again would get more practice in before starting school in the Fall.

But, I didn't want to go home simply because the Academy felt like my home. My friends were my siblings. And Teresa was like a second mother to me. I was going to spend the next three months missing this. All of it. The good. And the bad.

On the last day, I walked around campus saying "good-bye" (which I hate) and "see you later" (which gave me pleasure in knowing there was a possibility that I may see them again).

The first person I saw as Kara. I shuffled my feet, awkwardly; trying to bring up the courage to talk to my ex-enemy.

Kara solved my problem rather quickly. She cupped my face in her hands and raised my chin so that we were looking eye to eye. "Tam, I want to apologize for my behavior this year. It wasn't my place to judge you or act the way I did. I'm sorry. And, no matter what, I'll always be glad to have met you."

I gave her a half-smile; happy to receive some form of apology and knowing that I could now call Kara "friend".

"I want to congratulate you and wish you luck." I said, gently pulling Kara's hands from my face.

She smiled and pulled me into a big hug. The first one she had ever given me. As my hands came up to her shoulders, I happened to realize something: Kara was skinnier than she appeared. I could feel every ridge on her shoulder blades, every rib down her sides, and every bone in her spine. She felt so fragile, I was afraid of squeezing too hard. Afraid I might break her.

Then, I left Kara to clean and mend her vest and prepare for Sunday. Fangore and I said good-bye to Callaban (he licked Fangore on the head) then we walked around campus.

Bo picked me up (he was over two feet taller than me) like a baby and held me close to his shoulders and I wrapped my arms around his neck. When Bo—finally—put me down, he rested his hands on my shoulders, and looked me in the eye.

"You take care of yourself, Tam. And you'd better come back alive next Fall." he teased.

I rolled my eyes. Even Bo knew about my almost-suicides. Only, he didn't know I had been spending a few weeks in the counseling center. It was a little detail that I let stay silent.

I smiled and squeezed Bo's elbows. "Don't worry, Bo. I'll be okay. Have a good summer yourself."

His thumb brushed my jawline. "Thanks. You too."

Thor was a little more gentle. In other words, he didn't pick me up. Instead, Thor gave me an awkward, one-armed hug while petting Fangore's head with the other. Thor said good-bye (he was graduating).

I pressed my nose into his chest, inhaling his sweet fragrance; applying it to memory. I looked upon his homely face. I looked away and said good-bye to Mudbane. Mudbane barked and licked my face with his big, hot, sticky tongue. I smiled—wiping my face off on the collar of my t-shirt—and planted a kiss on the top of his shale-and-mud, dappled head.

Alison's hug was long and constricting. I could hardly breathe. But, I held on as long as she did. Her chin resting on the top of my head.

Kayla's "so long" was an interesting one. She was not near as skinny as Kara so my fear of breaking her was not as strong. Kayla's hands clasped at my head and her head on my shoulder, I heard the strangest phrase I had ever heard her utter.

"I'm going to miss you like peanut butter misses jelly."

I tried ever so hard—and failed, epically—not to laugh. But, soon, we had both collapsed on the floor in a bout of laughter that caused our ribs to hurt. I wiped tears from my eyes and patted Kayla's knee. "I'll miss you too, Kay." I said. Then, I smiled, teasingly. "So, which are you? The peanut butter or the jelly?"

"You can be the jelly." Kayla laughed back.

Splash crawled into my lap and I stroked his thick, downy coat. The blue Lutari placed his forepaws on my shoulders and I gently kissed him on the nose. He crawled onto Fangore's back and nuzzled his face into my Lupe's shoulder. Fangore twisted his head around and licked at Splash's squirming form.

I still had a while yet before my mom and brother showed up. So, I went to look for Cam and Randi.

I found them.

Randi's parents were already there; loading her things into a wagon. Sheldon was shuffling his paws, anxiously. When Randi saw me, she begged her parents to wait a while before running across the lot toward me. At high speed.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" I cried, moving aside before Randi could collide and crush me. When she had slowed down, I allowed her to envelope me in a bearhug.

I don't know for how long we stood in the log hugging. What I do know is we stood there long enough for me to memorize the pattern of Randi's heartbeat. Soon, Cam joined us. A long, group hug was established between the three of us. And then, Codax appeared in my vision.

I gave a growl of frustration. The last thing I needed was to deal with Codax.

"Come on, Short stuff." He said, gripping my shoulder with a force that caused Fangore to growl at him.

"Wait a moment, Codax." I said. "I'm saying good-bye."

"Well, hurry up. I wanna get back home." Codax grumbled.

I didn't know what he had planned, so I finished my good-byes, helped gather my stuff, and went home.

It didn't strike me that it was sumer vacation until lat at night when I had all my stuff unpacked and put in its place. Fangore and I lay, side-by-side, on my bed. I rubbed Fangore's face, suddenly aware of a feeling of loneliness that came over me.

I rolled over to my other side and realized that Kara was not there. Tears coursed openly down my face and I found myself shaking with sobs. Even if my year with Kara had started off badly, I still missed her even now.

Fangore climbed over me and licked my face; washing the salty tears from my cheeks. "It'll be okay. You'll see them again. Probably."

I smiled. "Thanks, Fangore."


	17. The Clinic

_Chapter Seventeen.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

The Clinic  
Chapter Seventeen

* * *

The next morning presented yet another depressive mood for me. Though, the sunlight streaming through my crocheted curtains should have provided some form of joy. It took me only a few minutes to realize that I was no longer at school.

Kayla was no longer my neighbor.

Kara was no longer my roommate.

Thor would not be at the school come Fall.

Bella would be hard-pressed to forgive me (and vice versa) when the time came.

I wouldn't receive hugs from Randi or Cam. Or have Alison invite me along to do something with her.

I was already missing that. Certainly, I still had Fangore to keep me company. We could share memories. But, we also shared a family.

I finally got up—after spending a few minutes laying on my back, thinking about this past year—dressed slowly, and went out to fix breakfast. I poured Fangore a bowl of Lupe kibble and cooked myself some bacon and eggs—cooked in bacon grease—and poured myself a glass of orange juice. Mom had already left for the clinic (she told me last night that I didn't have to work today) and Codax ran off to wherever Codax goes. So, I had the house to myself. Not that I minded. Especially now. I could gather my thoughts without interruptions. And—if I got lonely—I had only a pasture to cross to reach Mam's house.

I leaned back in my chair with crossed arms and stared at an orange puddle I had dribbled on the table. A thought occurring to me. Mam and Pap hadn't seen me since the week before school started. Back then, I was a scrawny, little thing; unsure of myself. Fangore was hardly able to support me. Mam would be so happy to see that I was a whole new person and Pap would enjoy how strong Fangore had gotten since he last saw my faithful neo.

"Fang?" I said, looking down at my Lupe.

"Yes, Mistress?" Fangore replied.

"How would you feel about visiting Mam and Pap?" I asked.

Fangore got up, stretched, and yawned. "I would enjoy that very much."

I smiled. "Just give me a while. I need to clean up. Then, we can go."

Fangore sat back on his haunches and watched me shuffle around; clearing the table and cleaning the breakfast materials. I grabbed a jacket and slipped the harness onto Fangore. Attaching the lead and locking the door behind us, we headed back to Mam's house.

Mam was pleased to see me. Her leathery face lit up as I steped through the door with Fangore at my hip. Her strength never ceased to amaze me as she drew me into a hard embrace. Mam was also a little shorter than me so my chin rested easily on her frail shoulder.

"Tamara! It's good to see you my dear granddaughter!" Mam said, her pale lips brushed my cheeks. She was the only one who could call me Tamara and get away with it.

I gently squeezed my grandmother in a hug which made her groan then chuckle.

"Look at you! That Academy did you good!" Mam said, squeezing my arms and smiling; her brown eyes twinkling.

I remembered when I announced that I was going to the Academy. Mam was scared that it would be like local school days all over again. After my dad left and Mam and Pap took over caring for me and Codax while Mom worked; I used to come home everyday until grade six from school with tears down my face. Tears because someone had said or did something to hurt me.

"Come here. Sit down. Do you want something?" Mam led me to a chair and got me to sit down just as she always did when I came home from school. She acted like the mom I never had. Or just like a grandma who cared.

"Ahh!" I said, indecisively. "You still got some of that Mamaw's Famous Cocoa?"

Mam bustled back to the stove and began heating milk over an open flame and mixing sugar and cocoa powder together in a clay cup. All the while, talking to me. "So, how was school?"

I told her everything. Everything, that is, except for my depression and the two, near-suicides. No need to freak out my poor, grandmother at the thought of her only granddaughter being suicidal.

Mam poured the warm milk over the mixture and added a dribble of vanilla extract. After mixing it all together, she set the cup down before me. "I'm glad you found such good friends, Tamara." Mam said, patting me on the head.

"Yeah. Yeah, they're all great people." I said. But, Mam took in in a way I hadn't meant it to be taken.

"What's wrong, hunny?"

I shrugged. "I just miss them."

Mam gave a sigh of relief and sat down at my elbow. "What are your friends' names?"

I listed them all; ticking their names—and the names of their neopets—of my fingers. When I came to Maya and China, I flinched. Mam touched me on the arm.

"Wait here." She said. She left the table and hurried into her living room. I heard her muttering to herself and rustling about in old newspapers. She returned with a newspaper marked with a dreaded date.

The day after Maya's death.

Mam riffled through the obituaries until she found what she was looking for: Maya's life's story. "Is this your friend?" Mam asked.

I nodded but said I didn't want to talk about her. Mam pressed me to at least give the good stuff about Maya. I reluctantly gave in.

"Well, how do you describe your best friend?" I chuckled, dryly. My eyes looking at the black and white sketch of Maya with China sitting in her lap. "She was kind, friendly, loyal, patient, tolerant, and all-around good person. She died so that I could live. I would give anything to see her again." I ducked my head so that Mam couldn't see the tears that were starting to fall.

Mam's work-worn hand touched my smaller hand. "She sounded just like the kind of person you needed in your life." She tilted my chin so that we were looking eye to eye. "You must of loved her."

"She was more like a sister than a friend." I said.

"Ah. A sister figure." Mam said. "She probably made a better sibling than Codax ever did."

I jumped when I heard Mam talk about her grandson like that. But smiled at the fiery attitude the old woman presented. Now I know where my disposition came from.

"All of my friends were either a brother or sister to me. But, the twins—Maya and Alison—were closer. They treated me like one of their own sisters." I gave her an embarrassed smile. "Her mom unofficially adopted me."

"Are you going back next year?" Mam asked, quickly changing the subject.

"I have to." I said, sipping at my cocoa—it was just as good and sweet as I remembered. I licked my lips; savoring the taste before continuing. "Or else my training will be for nothing."

Mam's warm, leathering hand cupped my cheek, tenderly. "Well, you just finish your training."

I smiled and held Mam's palm to my face. "Thanks Mam." I said.

I spent the remainder of the afternoon, puttering around Mam's house; helping with chores or anything that Mam wanted me to do. Then, we sat on the couch and completed a puzzle. Fangore lay on the couch between us; stretched out with his head on Mam's lap. My grandmother stroked Fangore's head; admiring the glossy sheen on his blood-colored coat.

"Fangore's a good Lupe, isn't he, Tamara?" Mam asked.

I nodded, patting my Lupe's hindquarters with a delicate hand. "Oh yeah. He was a good boy before I got him." I said. I described training methods that I did with him, and how he played with the other neopets, and ever the competition that I placed sixth in. I knew that Mam would have been more pleased if I had placed in the top three, but she took pleasure in knowing that I had placed at all.

When evening rolled around, I said good-bye to Mam and Pap and headed won the driveway, through the pasture towards home. Mom was already there, fixing supper when Fangore and I walked in. I grimaced when I realized that I hadn't left a note. I quickly apologized, hugging Mom to imply that I really was sorry.

After supper, Codax washed dishes and I sat in my room, reorganizing my stuff from school. Then, I reached under my bed and rolled out the tub of clothes I hardly ever used; withdrawing my clinical uniform that I would be forced to wear tomorrow. A small, white, button up shirt with my full first name stitched over the pocket of the left breast. White trousers—which, surprisingly, still fit—and crocks. I draped these over my desk chair for easy access in the morning.

I don't remember falling asleep. But the fact that Mom had awaken me by making the door fly open with a bang against the wall was evidence enough. Next to the fact that I was still wearing yesterday's clothes. Obviously, I had been more tired that I originally thought.

"Come on, Tam. Time to go to work! Get up." Mom greeted me. There was barely any daylight streaming through my curtains.

I stretched, groaning with pleasure as every bone in my back cracked into place.

"Breakfast is on the table for you." Mom said, shutting the door to give me some privacy.

I tumbled off my bed and lay on the burgundy carpet. Not knowing how long I slept should have left me well rested. Instead, I was very much exhausted. I deduced that I had slept too long.

I dressed quickly, harnessed Fangore, and went out to breakfast. Mom frowned when she saw the harness.

"Fangore can come but he has to sit behind the welcome desk." Mom ordered.

"I understand, Mom." I said. Fangore whimpered but nodded. "_We _under-stand."

Mom gave us a brief smile. "It's not that I don't approve of him, Tam, it's just that he'll get underfoot."

"I know." I said. "Fangore will behave himself." I promised.

Needless to say, Fangore did behave himself. He lay in an unoccupied corner behind the receptionist counter. At first, Kama—who was my first and only friend outside the school—was reluctant about letting Fangore lay back where she was sitting. I assured Kama that Fangore was harmless and probably wouldn't do much more than sleep. Kama, finally undid the sliding lock and let him in.

I quickly scribbled a note telling people that Fangore was not for sale but enjoyed nothing more than to be petted.

The day wasn't quite as busy. I managed to play catch-up with Kama before walking down to the dairy stand to get lunch. When Kama and I came back, Mom told me to help her in the emergency room. A yellow Ixi had come in with a fractured pastern. We worked hard to reset the fracture.

"What do you think, Mom?" I asked. "I mean, she's a fighting neo. Do you think she'll be able to fight again?"

"I don't think so, Tam." Mom said, shaking her head. "At least, not up to her usual specifications." She sighed. "What am I going to tell the master?"


	18. Dilasca

_Chapter Eighteen.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

Dilasca  
Chapter Eighteen

* * *

"What do you mean I can't put her through the Battledome?" I winced when I heard the Neo-Master yell from out in the waiting room.

I had elected to stay behind in the OR and watch over the Ixi. Mom had no idea what my plan was.

I had seen the Neo-Master and I knew what kind of Master he was. The kind of Master that pushed his neopets passed their limits. Nothing but the best, was his philosophy.

This Ixi was still unconscious. Her left, hind hoof was wrapped in a compressive support bandage and elevated on a thick pillow. An oxy mask stretched tight over her muzzle.

I sat hunched over in my chair; eyes on the senseless, deer-like creature. My attempts at blocking out the screaming Master was almost impossible. I could barely hear my Mom, two assistant vets, and Kama trying to explain that the fracture would only get worse if the Master forced her to fight again.

"Listen you!" I could almost see the Master point a finger in Mom's face. "That's my Ixi you're talking about! My property! I found her! I raised her! I trained her! I can do what I like with her!"

"No you can't." I smiled when I heard Danica—Mom's oldest and most trusted assistant—speak up. "That's animal cruelty. This isn't just an object that you can buy and sell. These are sentient beings; able to understand what's happening."

That gave me an idea. But, I wanted to get permission from one person.

Okay, so he's not exactly a person.

I crouched behind the counter near Fangore and told him my idea. Granted, it meant bending (or breaking) my morals a little. Not to mention, trespassing in on someone else's mind.

"So, what do you think? Should I commune with her?" I asked.

"Mistress, I have nothing against sharing you with another neopet. If anything, I'm proud of you. But, don't you think you'll be stretching your luck a little?" Fangore warned.

"Maybe a little." I said, reluctantly. "But, she's being mistreated. Can't you hear what that Master is saying? He doesn't care about her! He only cares about winning!" I cupped my Lupe's face with my hands. "I want to set her free. I can provide her a better home than that."

Fangore pawed at my arm; whimpering because my hold was too tight. I felt bands on my own jaws tighten and my grip slackened.

"I know you can, Mistress and I'm not saying you can't. What I am saying is, I don't think the Master will be willing to let her go just yet."

My back thumped against a steel-gray filing cabinet in frustration. Then, I brightened. "What if I offered to train her? Do you think he'll let me then?"

Fangore's paws moved in and his shoulder's raised in what was a passable shrug. "Possibly, Mistress." He said. "But, keep in mine that you aren't really a Trainer yet. Granted you are gifted, but I don't know if he'll let it go so easily."

"I'll just have to push until he agrees." I said. I can be very convincing.

I took Fangore into the OR to show him what I was talking about. The red Lupe whimpered when he saw the mistreatment of the Ixi displayed right there in the room before him. I retook my hunched position in the chair I had occupied earlier and watched Fangore. He had raised himself onto his back paws and was staring down at the Ixi.

"GET THAT LUPE WAY FROM MY IXI!" The Master screamed at me.

I didn't look up but called Fangore over and asked him to lay down by my chair. I watched the Master, balefully, through my long bangs while he checked on his Ixi.

Then, he turned to Mom.

"Is there any way to speed up her recovery?"

I admired Mom for her ability to stand up to bullies. It kind of helped that she was backed by Danica, Dashielle and Kama.

Danica (Dani as everyone liked to call her) had nothing worth looking at. She was completely common-looking with her short, dark brown hair—tipped blonde—and her greenish-blue eyes. She was rather robust though (she had to be considering her position as Assitant Vet). And, her major ability was to stare people down.

Dashielle (better known as Dash) was better looking than his female counterpart. His skin was dark brown with several black holes and a few scars lining the muscular exterior of his arms. His body was thick, too and he was only a few years older than me. He had worked a couple of years as an intern under Mom's instruction but soon became an Assitant too.

Kama, on the other hand, was my age. Tan skin, green eyes, brown hair (the color changed everytime I saw her). She had been looking for a job for some time before Mom finally offered her a Billing and Coding job at the clinic.

"Fractures need time to heal. Especially for an Ixi. Then, there's the weeks of rehab and some proper training. It will take time. She probably won't be well enough for the next competition." Mom said, drawing me out of my revere.

The Master's face was beet-red and his green-blue eyes were dark and savage with anger. "Unacceptable. Besides, how am I to find a Trainer to commit to the proper training?"

"They're a lot more common than you think." Danica said, checking the Ixi's vitals. Then, she waved to me. "Take Tamara for example. She's becoming a Trainer herself."

"Danica!" I hissed.

The Master rounded on me, just as I knew he would. For a moment, I wished Danica hadn't brought attention to me. "Can you train my Ixi? Get her ready for next year's competition?"

"I can train her but I can't guarantee she'll be as good as you want her to be." I said. "And, like Mom said, fractures are dangerous. It'll take a lot longer for me to teach her."

"But, you can make her better." I was right about the Master. He didn't care about her. Only about winning.

I shrugged, then shook my head. "Probably not. You'll endup with a losing Ixi because she won't be able to rotate properly on that hoof."

The Master was silent. He was watching me very closely. Watching my expression. Watching my eyes. Looking for anything that would tell him I was lying.

Then, he spoke. "Kill her."

"What?" Mom was mortified. We had just spent almost an hour in the ER trying to reset the fracture. She couldn't believe that someone had just ordered her to commit a dirty deed.

"I can't have a useless Ixi weighing me down. Kill her." The Master said again.

I rose from my chair; hard-faced and determined. I placed myself between the man and my patient. "There are easier ways than killing a poor defenseless Ixi." I said. "If you'd like. I'll take her off your hands."

"You!" He scoffed. "A pitiful, useless whelp? Why should I let you have her?"

"My daughter is not useless and she's not a whelp." Mom thundered.

"I'm willing to buy her off of you." I offered, cutting passed Mom's outrage.

"You know what? Just take her. An Ixi is no use to me either way." The Master stormed out of the room and I knelt by my new Ixi's head; stroking her between the tattered pink ears, and tiny black horns surmounting her head.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of you. My little Dilasca." I whispered.

I spent several weeks after that working to make it up to Mom. She was glad I had followed my heart but had me pulling double duties to pay off medical bills

In the evenings, I took up any extra chores I could see. Often relieving Codax of his dish nights. At night, I would sit up in bed and read training guides or rehabilitation for teaching an Ixi. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was in the wrong. I had no idea what the NTL would say.

"Eh." I said to myself. "I don't care."


	19. Adventure with my Cousin

_Chapter Nineteen.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

Adventure with my Cousin  
Chapter Nineteen

* * *

"But, I don't want to!" Dilasca protested. "It hurts."

It was nearly a month after Dilasca had come into the clinic. She had come a long way from a pitiful lump to the overeager Ixi now laying on my bed. Mom had allowed her to come home and said that _I _was to be the one to put her through rehabilitation exercises and train her.

I agreed only too willingly; remembering the abuse her former Master put her through. It took Fangore only a few minutes to convince Dilasca to commune with me. He expressed his feelings about me and explained that I didn't abuse or expect more than I knew he was capable of. Dilasca eventually came near to me and communed with me.

Her voice had a high, famine tone with a saucy edge to it. And, she tended to complain with every opportunity.

I gently stroked her yellow fur and fingered the tattered ears. I had just asked her to do some leg exercises. As expected, she had a comeback.

"It's supposed to hurt a little. But, it'll make you stronger. You do want to get strong, don't you?"

Dilasca's purple eyes focused on the leg brace she was forced to wear. My hand was already beneath it. "Yes."

"Then, just try. I'm not going to let you go too far." I promised.

I had been working with Dilasca in an attempt to get her in a routine fitness schedule. Almost like what I did with Fangore. Excluding barrel-racing—those were really tree stumps—and high jumps. I didn't push her to do the exercises; merely reminded her that the exercises were meant to make her feel better. She would do it—after complaining for a while. And still complain later.

"Try to do as many leg-lifts as you can for me." I coaxed; stroking her from ebony-colored horns to erect, white-bottomed tail.

She was still laying with her hooved feet curled neatly beneath her. Only her braced leg was kept from bending. "It hurts when I bend it further than my hip." she told me.

I already knew that. My hip received a dull, nasty, biting feeling when she raised it too high. But, I pretended I didn't know. "That's because you're not supposed to raise it that high. Your muscles are still a little weak. Give it time and some practice. You'll get it."

"Eventually." Fangore mumbled from the big, dog bed he was laying on.

I glared at him a moment. I wanted to encourage Dilasca, not dampen her spirits. Dilasca was impatient. The thought of doing something too much would do nothing for her.

"Don't mind him." I told her. "He's just hungry."

"I am too, Mistress." Dilasca said.

I tried to be diplomatic. "Look, if you do the leg-lifts, you can wait until after breakfast to do the laps around the living room. And, I'll give you your pain pills." I had spent most of the morning trying to encourage Dilasca. I was hungry too but allowed myself the same discomfort as my neopets.

She thought about this. The knowledge that Ixi chow (a food consisting of rice and corn) would be in her food bowl) usually convinced her to do the exercises. Her purple eyes locked onto my brown ones. Then, she flopped over onto her other side and began the exercises—as usual, wincing and complaining.

After the exercises, I picked her up, and the three of us went out. I poured their food, checked Dilasca's brace, and prepared my own breakfast.

It was Mom's day off so it didn't surprise me to see that Mom was in the living room, reading the newspaper.

"Tam. Tam. Can I talk to you a moment?" Mom called.

I left the breakfast table and went into the living room. My bacon and eggs could wait. "Yeah, Mom?"

"How's Dilasca coming with rehab?" Mom was careful to use my neo's names when speaking to me.

"She's doing pretty good. Just needs more coaxing is all before she'll do it." I said, a little suspicious of why Mom would ask about Dilasca but understood that it was in her nature to be concerned.

"How's Fangore taking this whole . . . sharing you with another neopet thing?"

I grimaced. Fangore was careful about his feelings around me. A connection between a human and a neopet is a powerful one, but sometimes we can hide things from one another. In many ways, I could feel Fangore's reluctance at having to share me. But, in others, he didn't seem to mind that I worked more with Dilasca instead of him—understanding, probably completely, that Dilasca's injury needed looking after and mending.

"He's fine with it." I said, not willing to tell her about the conflicting emotions I was picking up.

"Good." Mom folded her paper over and laid it in her lap. He sipped her herbal tea, sighing comfortably and continued reading.

"Anything else, Mom?" I asked, my stomach giving an audible growl.

"Now that you mention it, yes." She said. "Your cousin, Christin, is in town. She wanted to know if you'd be willing to walk around with her. Go exploring, generally."

I couldn't believe it. Christin was one of my best friends when we were kids. We used to play and go explore the surrounding area together. We like to talk about our futures (Christin wanted to join NEO and I supported her) and she used to say I would be a great Trainer.

We haven't spoken in nearly two years. Christin's mother up and left for the far west, taking her daughter with her. I never even got the chance to say good-bye.

Realizing that Christin was coming back to Neopia Central made me giddy and light-headed with all my fond memories.

"When?" I asked, unable to keep the excitement out of my voice.

"This afternoon, of course." Mom said. I saw her smile. Obviously pleased to see a spark of joy on my face since Maya died. I knew Mom had been worried about me (using the clinic, Fangore and Dilasca as a way of keeping me busy). It was good for me to hear some news on my cousin and good for Mom to see a genuine smile on my rosy cheeks.

"What do you say?" Mom asked, cutting through my thoughts like they were made of butter. "Do you want to relive your childhood again?"

" I say yes." I said, leaping from the room excitedly. I hadn't been this excited since my letter of acceptance into the Academy. _Was that really over a year ago?"_

I gulped down my hot breakfast (scolding my tongue and mouth roof in my mad rush to finish it). Then, I hurried back the hall to get dressed. I yanked on my denim shorts and struggled through the tie-dye t-shirt. Slipping on my socks and shoes and thrusting my arms through the holes of my emerald-green vest, I plowed back out the hall to the living room.

Mom was crouching on the floor next to Dilasca. She had the Ixi in a headlock and was forcing her to take the pain pills. Dilasca was putting up a fight.

"Let go. Let go." I heard her cry; her head tossing, ebony horns flashing, and her violet eyes wide with violent terror.

"Mom, let her go. Please?" I asked, nicely. Surprisingly, Mom released my Ixi's head. I crouched beside her and took the pill from my mother. "There's more than one way to skin a cat." I said, coaxing Dilasca to take the pill from the palm of my hand.

"I'm sorry, hunny." Mom said, fingering my jawline with an apologetic look in her eyes. I knew Mom was sincere and dint' really mean any harm to Dilasca. She was only trying to help and, in my excitement, I had nearly forgotten Dilasca's pain pills.

"Dilasca's not like other Ixi's. You can't force feed her. You have to let her take the pill on her own." I realized that I hadn't told Mom that. I had done the same thing Mom did; ending rather badly. I later found out that Dilasca's former Master used to put her in a headlock to make her do what he wanted. I explained this to Mom. Luckily, she understood that Dilasca associates headlocks with the abuse her former Master instilled.

Christin arrived not long after Dilasca finished her last exercise routine. No sooner had Mom let my cousin in then I found myself laying flat on my back with Christin's extremely thin body pinning me down. Despite a nagging pain in my mid-section from the blow, I lay laughing with my cousin.

"Get off of her!" Fangore growled; nosing at her until she let me up.

"Look at this!" Christin said, noticing Fangore and Dilasca for the first time. "You have a Lupe. And an Ixi."

I nodded, introducing my neos while getting a good look at my cousin.

If you were to see us on the streets, you would think that Christin was the oldest. Truth is, I"m actually older than Christin by six months and twelve days. Bur, we didn't look much like family. Christin was tall, lanky, and extremely skinny—not anorexic-skinny but still skinny. But, she was also very graceful, agile, and well-balanced.

Her face was angular and somewhat elvish. Her green eyes were sparkling when in a good mood. Christin was usually very jovial. It was just best not to tangle with her. She is a force to be reckoned with.

Her slender fingers brushed down the front of my apprentice vest. Her eyes took an interest look. She glanced between me and my two neos; her quick mind putting two and two together.

"You're not a Trainer, are you?" she asked.

"Only an apprentice." I said. "I need to complete another year at the Academy before I can receive the red vest of a real Trainer."

Christin's arms made my back and shoulders crack in the massive hug she gave me. "Congratulations Tam! I knew you could do it!" she held me at arms length. I happened to notice her hair: black with red tips.

"You changed your hair color." I said.

Christin plucked at a lock that resembled the color of black-and-rust. "Yea. It's the rave in the far west." she smoothed my auburn hair; feeling the bobby pins and the stubby ponytail I had it in. "Your hair's longer."

I shrugged. "Just haven't wanted to cut it lately."

We sat there in the middle of the floor, staring at each other. Studying one another's face.

"You read to go?" Christin asked, rising.

I nodded and we went out on a walk. Christin told me everything that happened in the two years of her life in the west. Then, she let me talk. I told her mainly about the Academy, how I came across Fangore and Dilasca, and all my friends. I didn't tell her about Maya's death or all the trauma I endured.

AS we walked, it was almost like old times. I was quietly remembering the childhood memories of me and her. Playing together in these very fields.

"Mistress! Come look!" Dilasca's terrified voice shot through my revere.

We rushed to my Ixi's side. I was struck dumb at the sight that met us. There was a partially decomposed remains of a female Blumaroo laying by a hole in the ground.

Fangore stuck his nose in deep; inhaling the amazing scents that assailed his nostrils. He snorted and withdrew his snout; concern written on his face. "Mistress, there are two cubs down there. Alive but just barely."

"Dig." I ordered him and his claws flashed in the dirt; turning of soil.


	20. Bluehopper and Zion

_Chapter Twenty.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

Bluehopper and Zion  
Chapter Twenty

* * *

"Careful, Fangore, Careful." I said, crouching in the dirt near my faithful pet. Christin stood nearby; gnawing on her fingernails; nervously.

"What's going on, Tam?" Christin asked. I remembered that she couldn't understand Fangore as I could.

"There's two Blumaroo cubs buried here." I said. "They're still alive but orphaned. We'll have to care for them." I touched Fangore on the head; stopping him when I saw a flash of green fur. Then, I carefully lifted each Blumaroo out by the loose folds of their skin.

They were older than I expected—barely even weaned yet and just out of infancy. Their eyes were open and gleaming like two pairs of jet stones. The cubs were both covered in fur. One, a female with pure, sapphire-blue fur. The other, a male, green one with white stars.

Christin knelt beside me as I gently dusted dirt from their fur. I could tell she was overcome by their beauty and adorable helplessness as I was. She touched the heart shaped-feet, stroked the long, flexible tail, and fingered the long, lopping ears of the starry, gree male.

"They're so beautiful." She said in an awestruck voice.

"Do you want one?" I asked, knowing all to well what her answer would be and I immediately regretted asking.

"Wouldn't I need to go to the Academy for that?" Christin sounded so much like her mother when she said that. She never liked bing stuck somewhere for too long; always wanting to travel or look for adventure. I knew she was speaking out of the fear of ending up stuck at the Academy for three years instead of signing for NEO. Which was why Christin was always home-schooled.

I shook my head. "No. Rule is, only children of the age thirteen with a fighting neopet may enter the academy."

"Blumaroos don't qualify as fighting neopets?"

"No."

I saw her relax. School had never interested Christin. Certainly, she supported me when I said I wanted to go to the Academy. But, she had no desire to go herself. I understood.

The starry-green Blumaroo crawled helplessly into her lap and Christin, automatically, began petting it. Her mouth twitching into an unmistakable smile. "I'll take this one. Unless if you want him." A tone hesitation was in her voice. Christin loved pleasing herself but took many opportunities to please me as well. I really didn't care either way.

"Take him. He's not going to get very far on his own out here. Predators will get him if you don't take him." I said, scooping the blue female into my arms. Her digging claws pierced through the fabric of my vest; cutting into my shoulders. I winced and made a mental note to sew reinforcement denim into my vest.

"What about her?" Are you taking her?" Christin asked.

"Of course." I said. "There's no way I'm leaving Bluehopper out here on her own."

"Bluehopper?" Christin was skeptical about my naming ability.

"Every owned neopet needs a name, Chris." I said. "Bluehopper has hers. What's your's going to be?"

"Zion." She said, after thinking about it a moment.

I smiled as I thought of the name. Zion was a good name for a male Blumaroo. It would probably be even better as a name for a fighting neopet but it would have to do for Christin's one first and only neo.

Mom looked the Blumaroos over; checking them for harm and diseases. "Well, other than being really hungry, they're very healthy."

"So, I can take Zion home?" Christin asked.

Mom didn't answer Christin's question. She was thinking the same thing I was. Christin also hated responsibility. The thought of releasing a baby Blumaroo to my cousin did not rest well on my mother's mind.

She sighed. "Christin, I"m only going to let you take Zion home if you promise to take care of him."

"I will." Christin said, too quickly for my liking.

"Chris, Tamara can tell you that raising a neopet takes a lot of responsibility. I could probably compare it to raising a child. Blumaroo cubs are no different. You have to watch them constantly. Feed them. Generally take care of them like you would a child." Mom cradled little Zion in her arms like he was a human baby. "Are you prepared to do that?"

"Think about it before you answer." I said.

Christin did think about it. The whole time, watching Zion; observing the Blumaroo's expression. Then, she straightened up. "I want Zion and I will take care of him."

Mom hesitated as Christin reached for him. "You sure?"

"Yes." Christin said, sounding a little annoyed at Mom.

"I'm warning you now, Christin." Mom's hazel eyes darkened. I knew that letting my cousin have Zion was against her morals. Morals that people of irresponsibility should not have neopets. "You abuse or forget about Zion once, and we'll find someone else to take care of him."

"I understand." Christin said.


	21. You're Far Too Young

_Chapter Twenty-one.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

"You're Far Too Young"  
Chapter Twenty-One

* * *

Needless to say that I saw little of Zion and Christin. What I did see of the starry-green Blumaroo relieved all feeling of dread I had felt. He was quite fit and healthy. His fur shining and his eyes sparkled with radiance. He was even able to stand on his tail; a sign that he could now eat real food and not powdered cream and milk.

Bluehopper, herself, had risen to standing on her tail. Though, she preferred to hang from my shoulders or take a nap in my lap while I studied for the upcoming school year or trained Fangore and Dilasca.

Dilasca was soon allowed free-range movement, though I had prompted her to continue the exercises regardless of having the cast and brace removed. She was greatly relieved when Mom announced she no longer needed the pills.

Admiration at how well I had trained Fangore and Dilasca brought more requests from other Masters. But, Mom was not at all pleased when I agreed to take on a special case. A Grundo named Arco was brought to my attention.

From Professor Neilson's description, Grundos were very easy to train. But, no sooner had the Master signed a contract with me than I could feel guilt creeping up on me. I hadn't passed my second year of school and already I was doing business with people.

_What if I messed up? What if he doesn't train well? What if I'm wrong to take him?_

"You're far too young, Tam." Mom said, that night over supper.

It didn't surprise me that Mom would say that. I was her baby after all. I was still only thirteen and a half.

"You need to know how to say no." Mom told me. "What ever gave you the idea to accept taking Arco? You have three already."

"Bluehopper is house-trained." I pointed out. "I can train Arco just as well as I trained Fangore and Dilasca."

"I think Dilasca already had some training." Mom said, looking over the table at the Ixi who was curled up in the curve of Fangore's belly.

"No, she was abused. I'm actually training her." I pointed out.

Mom sighed something that sounded like "Teenaged rebellion". I thought about this. Had I really become a rebel? The Masters had all consulted with me while Mom was present in the ER. She had hissed at me not to accept any offers of money for any training I could provide; reminding me that I was an undergraduate. I had deftly dismissed all; explaining that my vest was green, not red. Mom had even been present when Arco and his Master had entered. Even with Mom's hissing reminder of my lowly position, I accepted the Master's offer of eight gold fro every hour of training. Though, I couldn't explain what made me do it.

Arco proved to be an apt learner. He followed my instructions without much complaint (at least I don't think he complained; it didn't help I was forbidden from communing with him). He was also quite strong which was normal for a Grundo. And friendly, too.

I trained him to fight against most opponents. Fangore, himself, volunteered to be Arco's punching bag a few times. Dilasca did, too. Though, there would be some time before she could even think about being ready to go back to the dome fights (I highly doubted she wanted to go back to that life).

I drew up a schedule. In the morning, Arco, Dilasca, and Fangore would exercise half and hour before breakfast (I kept plenty of water nearby to keep them hydrated).

Fangore did barrel-racing between tree stumps, jumps over high-raised rods, and some punching-bag routines (mostly using the bark-filled burlap sack as a chew toy).

Dilasca also did barrel-racing and high jumps (not quite as high as Fangore's jumping but high enough that she barely cleared). But, she rammed her horns into the punching bag. I added a few target ramming by using cushioned punching pads over my hands and dancing around her (on my knees) while making her plow into the targets when I showed it to her. Luckily, she didn't hit me quite as hard. The torque of her blows could've dislocated my shoulder. Not that I couldn't reset it myself if she did.

Arco did mostly jumping and punching. He was stronger than I expected. Considering he was a Grundo, I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised. But, what caught my attention most was when He would jump and twist in mid-air; kicking the punching-bag. A few of those caused the bindertwine rope to snap. Arco seemed mortified as he dove beneath Fangore; squeaking in fear as I cut the broken twine from both tree and bag.

"He's apologizing, Mistress." Fangore said, calmly.

I looked at the frightened Grundo's red eyes and spoke softly to him. "It's okay, Arco. There's plenty more where these came from." I showed him the broken twine, then reached out and patted his head. He relaxed then squeaked at me.

"He says, 'How can I help?' " Fangore translated.

I looked at the frayed ends of the broken twine. It was a single strip made of tiny fibers of long grass. Each blade was twisted into a into a strip which was then braided. The bindertwine was normally used in holding haybales together. Two ropes were used.

This gave me an idea. "Dilasca, I need you go go on an errand for me."

Dilasca yawned and rose onto her hooves. "What kind of errand, Tam?" Dilasca asked. She always used my nickname instead of the title Fangore always called me by. I ignored this.

"In the garden shed, there's a box of bindertwine. Bring me three strands, please." I said, politely.

To my surprise, Dilasca sped off in the direction of the garden shed. She returned holding three ropes in her mouth. She spat them out onto the grass next to me. I took them, tied a knot in one end and started braiding. When I finished, I held the bag and let Arco tie the braided rope around the mouth of the bag. Then, he stood on my shoulders and tied the other end of the rope to a low hanging branch while I supported the bag.

"Try it out, Arco." I said, helping the Grundo off my shoulders.

At first, he hesitated, then jabbed at the bag. To his delight, it stayed tied to the tree. He performed some acrobatics—jumping, punching, twisting, and kicking—only to fall, laughing in my lap. I rubbed his head right between the lobed antenna; hugging his potato-shaped body to mine. It was easy to make a Grundo happy.

"Tamara." Mom called from her bedroom window. "You're not going to let those neopets starve, are you?"

"No." I called back. I hadn't realized that it was an hour after sunrise. I hadn't even noticed that my stomach was rumbling. I was having so much fun training. I held Dilasca under one arm and Arco in the other while Fangore carried Bluehopper across his back. Once inside, I poured three bowls of food and cut a slab of jelly for Arco. I cooked my own breakfast (of eggs and toast) and sat down to eat.

Mom sat nearby, shuffling through the mail; opening envelopes and reading letters.

"Any postcards from Dad?" I asked, I kept from being excited because I knew precisely what my mother's answer would be.

"No, hunny." She said. "Nothing from your father. But . . . oh! This is interesting." She held up a peculiar envelope marked with the seal from NEO.

My heart pounded in my chest. "What is it? Is it about Dad? Read it, Mom!"

She slit the letter flap with the pocket knife I had anxiously slid across the table to her, unfolded it, and read it.

Dear Mrs. Timon,  
We regret to inform you that your husband has gone missing since last June. He was last seen climbing the First Mount Eyre in Morrowville. Search and Rescue parties are attempting to locate him.  
We hope to find you well.

Signed  
Brenda Glendale.  
Head of the Neopian Exploration


	22. I Have to Find Him

_Chapter Twenty-two.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

"I Have to Find Him."  
Chapter Twenty-Two

* * *

"Kama, would you mind watching my neos for me? There's something I gotta do." I asked my best friend since childhood.

"Sure." Kama said, nodding. She picked Bluehopper up and hugged the Blumaroo to her chest. Kama ad fallen in love with the neopet and was more than delighted wen I brought the young Blumaroo with me. "You going to get lunch?"

"Yeah. Sure. Dash probably hasn't eaten anything all day." I told Kama. I knew what her answer would be.

"He never does in the morning." Kama agreed.

_Surprise surprise I thought. "_Anything special you want?" It wasn't a complete lie. I was going to get lunch from a vendor but there was something else I had to do.

"Just the usual. I'm sticking to a diet." Kama said. Personally, I didn't thiink she needed to stay on a diet-as skinny as she was. She opened her purse-which she had stowed beneath the counter-and pulled out a few, large bills. "By your mom, Dash, and an some stuff from me too."

I took the rolled up bills and stowed them in my cargo pants pocket. "Will do." I said, smiling at her. She had no idea what I was really planning. I glanced down between Arco, Dilasca, and Fangre; trying to decide which to take with me. Arco needed more public-practice so I chose him. The pudgy Grundo sat on my shoulder while I went into town.

I had been planning for this for weeks. Quietly preparing for tis journey to Morrowville. I had filled an old backpack with some old clothes and other necessities, checked how much cash I had left in my home bank, and read my books over traveling supplies. I had only a few more things to get. Though, the memory of me having used them last tightened in my stomach.

_No._ I thought to myself; scolding the demons that whispered in my ears-reminding me of my friend's death and telling me it was all my fault. _Think about Dad. You're doing this because of Dad._

Ever since that letter came a few weeks ago I couldn't help but wonder a slew of questions. Did he ever think about us? About Mom, Codax, and me? What about his own parents, Mam and Pap? Did he ever consider what hi s family was doing now?

I ignored the vendor's offer to help and selected the items I needed. I paid using my scool card and left with two bags of supplies. Having promised Kama tat I would bring back lunch, I visited a food vendor, bought lunch, and returned to the clinic.

Kama took my grappling gear and stowed them under the counter without question. But, she sank her teeth into a veggiburger with gusto; spraying the cover of her record book with crumbs as she thanked me.

I nodded, wordlessly. Too preoccupied with what I had to tell Mom to say anything to Kama.

It didn't take me as long as I thought.

Mom caught me, one afternoon, going through my traveler's checklist; which I had copied out of one of my books. My supplies were spread out over my bed and floor.

"Tam? What's all this?" Mom kicked at a mess kit I had (stupidly) left by the door.

My heart skipped a few beats. It was too late to hide my stuff now. I was planning o leave net week. But, I was hoping to wean Mom into my plans. I knew it would upset her. Mom was fragile-minded after Dad left. Two kids to care for and no man to help her when she needed him. I felt bad now.

"Tam?" Mom's hands were at her hips and er hazel eyes were blazing between angry suspicion and fear.

"Mom, I didn't want to tell you for a while but . . . I'm leaving." I said, my voice choking. I knew what was coming next.

"You're what?" Mom's hands dropped to her thighs. I noticed the corner of her mouth was twitching. I knew I had upset her. It hurt me to do that. Stabbed a knife in my chest where the empty hole (from that fateful day on the mountain) was.

"I'm leaving." I repeated. "But I'll come back." I promised.

"That's not the point, Tamara. The point is . . . you're too young." Her voice was cracking. I almost cried myself. I hated hurting her but I had no choice.

I tossed aside my list in frustration. "I'll be fourteen in less than four months."

"You're still too young!" Mom countered.

I rolled my eyes. To her, I was always too young for something. She babied me. I hated being babied. "Mom, most kids my age would be going to the Academy. I've already been there. I've already finished my first year. I've already pleased the Bosses and I've placed in an early graduation. I've done things . . . seen things . . . that you're average twelve- or thirteen-year-old doesn't do or see. You'd think I was fifteen or sixteen.

Mom stepped over a pack of cloths and held her hands out to me. I recoiled. I didn't want a hug. She wasn't Randi. Only Randi could come at me like that and get something back. But, I was sure even she couldn't get a hug from me right now.

"Oh, hunny! I know Maya's death"–she didn't notice my flinch when she mentioned _her_name— "took a tole on you. But, running away isn't the answer. I though you were healed." Mom said.

I moved so that my lounge chair was between her and me. "Mom. This isn't about Maya" —wince— "This is about Dad. I have to find him, Mom. I have to. I need to know why he left. If he'll come back."

"Tam, I haven't spoken to him in . . ."

"Nine years, Mom. I know. I was four when he left. That's why I have to know why he left." I was shouting and my voice broke a few times. I knew Mom was beyond being upset and confused.

She reached for me again and I recoiled again; moving out of her reach. When I was getting stubborn, this is what usually happened.

"Tam, why do you feel like you have to do this?" Mom asked.

"Because I do." I didn't really have a reason. I could only feel a sense of duty. One that should come from a trainer with a red vest instead of a trainer with a green vest.

"That's not a reason." Mom said.

"I know." I said. "I'm sorry, but I feel like I have to. NEO can't find him . . ."

"Exactly why you shouldn't go, Tamara." She was irritated. She never used my whole first name unless she was.

"But, I might have a chance." I said, stubbornly. This was why Mom and I didn't get along. Mom was a worrywort and I was stubborn.

Just like Dad.

"What kind of a chance?" Mom stumped me. "Tamara, I thought we agreed you would wait until after school before you went gallivanting. You're only thirteen. True, you're training three neopets but you're still young."

"Which is why I have a chance." I began ticking things off my fingers. "I'm young. I'm strong. I have four neopets at my disposal." I could see she was nearly in tears. "Mom, if you're worried tat I won't come back . . . I will. You have Danica and Dashielle to help you with the clinic. Mam and Pap are just back the lane if you need them. Codax is sort of around. Besides, Fangore, Dilasca will take care of me. Arco too if I really need him."

This time, _I _hugged Mom; smothering my face into her clean, blue, flowery shirt. I heard her start to sob.

"I just don't want to lose you." She gasped.

I barely reached Mom's shoulders. I reached up and held her face; feeling the dampness of her tears beneath my palms. "Mom . . . you won't."

We stood there, holding one another. Finally, Mom said. "When will you leave?"

"Next week." I said. I felt a little relieved. Was Mom really willing to let me go? Was she willing to let me go after Dad? To find him and bring him back?

"Take care of yourself." She kissed my forehead and I relaxed. She was going to let me go. Then, she turned to Fangore who was seated back on his haunches. He was panting with a wise-guy grin on his lupine face. "Watch out for her, Fang."

Fangore barked. "I will." I translated.


	23. On My Way to Morrowville

_Chapter Twenty-three.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

On My Way to Morrowville  
Chapter Twenty-Three

* * *

Over the weeks that followed, I realized that I _had_ upset Mom more than I knew. More than she was letting on. As I finished packing the tools and supplies I needed, Mom stayed quiet; not bothering to speak her mind. She never did and I never asked. Though, I could see her reluctance of letting me—her baby girl—leave for a place unknown. Mom was always had a xenophobia—fear of the unknown. She acted like this when the council ordered I leave for the Academy.

At least then, she was sure I would come back. Alive and in one piece. Without mar or tear. At least when I came up depressed and (cough) suicidal, I was at least whole. With only an invisible hole in my chest that only I could feel.

A hole left behind by my best friend's death. One wide enough that Codax could've fit his fist in and still have room left to maneuver.

Speaking of my big, burly, older brother . . . Codax found out about my plans as well. Unlike Mom—who finally accepted that I was leaving—stormed back to my room in a huff.

"Look, you midget bastard! Who are you to leave us like that?"

I sighed. I was hoping to leave without Codax knowing. I knew he wouldn't understand. I didn't even understand it. I just felt compelled to leave. To leave and find Dad and bring him back. I had a feeling that Codax would've done the same if he felt the same.

"I'm coming back though." I said. I looked into my brother's angry, brown eyes. Those eyes used to hold a small portion of love for me and Mom before now. I remember when he used to hold me in his lap as he struggled to read. I didn't see that love I was used to seeing anymore. "Plus, Codax, I'm no bastard. Our parents were married before we were both born."

"Don't use logic on me, bitch." Codax seldom ever cussed. But, when he did, it was easy to tell that his wrath was close to coming completely out. A wrath which not even he could control most of the time.

Fangore growled at him from the dog bed he was laying in. "My Mistress is no bitch for she is no female Lupe or Gelert."

I turned away to smile at Fangore's logic.

Codax caught me by the elbow and spun me around. "I wanna know why you're leaving. Why you're deserting us just like _him_." Codax refused to refer to _him_ as our father. I knew the pain was too real for him to get over it.

" I'm leaving to find _him_, Codax." I said, calm and levelly. I didn't feel the need to explain myself to my angry and resentful brother.

"Why?" I knew Codax wouldn't get it.

"Because." I realized I didn't have a real reason. Only that I felt the need to go. "Because I have to 'Dax." I said.

"No." Codax shook his head; his eyes still on my face as though looking for something that told him there was a possibility I was being dishonest. "You don't need to go, Tam. You need to finish school and train neopets for a living. Hunting for a man who doesn't even want us anymore isn't what you're supposed to do."

"'Dax, it's my duty. Trainer yet or not, I have to do it."

"Is this more for personal reasons?" Leave it all to Codax to figure out this was more for my benefit than it was duty.

I didn't answer him. I turned away and started wrapping up the plasti-flex tent that I had found in old scouting supplies in the attic. Codax didn't speak for a while, either. I heard him tap his hip; waiting for my answer which was bound to come.

"Tamara?" He pushed.

"I have to know, 'Dax. I have to know why he left us. Why he didn't come back. Why we don't hear from him anymore." I glanced up at the family portrait on my dresser. Mom couldn't stand to look at it. I could. I kept it. It featured the four of us. Mom sitting on a stool, holding a four-year-old me. Codax was next to her with his hand on her shoulder. Dad stood behind all three of us. As I looked closer at his expression, he looked happy—but there was an emptiness in his eyes that didn't show what his face did.

"He left us because he didn't care anymore, Tam. Why can't you accept it?" Codax shouted.

I stood up and thrust my face up into his. I knew I was dangerously close to pushing him off the edge of his sanity. His self-control. But I didn't care. He could yell and scream at me all he wanted. He could even clobber me into a pulp to extend my leaving time. That didn't mean I wouldn't still leave.

" Why can't _you_ accept that maybe he needed some time away?" I said.

"Because we both know it's not true." Codax shouted back.

"Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. I won't know unless I ask."

"YOU'RE STUPID TO EVEN WANT TO ASK HIM!"

I wondered why Mom hadn't come back to see what was going on. Then again, she had been avoiding me. As of late, she had been having Dan take my place as her assistant. Dash took me in the ERs with him so I could assist him. Mom didn't even look at me much less talk to me. I knew I had hurt her but I didn't know how much. It drove a knife deep into my heart knowing I had done that. But, it couldn't be helped. I had to do something. That was exactly what I was planning.

"'Dax, you guys keep telling me to ask questions if I need help. . . ." I began.

"Yeah. At school. Not at home. And not of a man who doesn't even want us." Codax cried.

" I do need help." I told him. "I've been lost and confused on why he could do such a thing to us. I've asked questions. Questions that won't be answered _unless_ I find him." I pulled the cords of the tent tight on the backpack (now ladened with other necessities). "I don't care what you say, 'Dax. I _am_ going. But I _will_ come back. With or without him."

"I won't let you, Tam." Codax said, planting himself in the doorway. He reminded me of an angry, grotesque gargoyle.

I faced him again; giving him a look that would make Dash cringe. "You don't have to let me, 'Dax. I'm still leaving. Whether you like it or not."

Codax knew the battle was lost. He dropped his arms from the jamb to his sides and stared at me. The angry expression was now gone; replaced with pain. The same pain I remembered seeing on his face when he learned that Dad was probably never going to come back. Pain of loss and abandon-ment. I didn't know what I could say to lessen it.

I approached him and felt his immobile face the same way Mom would when he was upset. His cheek was hot and his jaw clenched under my fingers. "'Dax . . . I'm coming back. I promise. I'm not going to throw away my second year of school just like that. But, I have to know. Aren't you even curious?"

Slowly, Codax nodded. I knew he was curious but he never had the heart to actually leave the house. Leave me and Mom behind (not that he didn't do that all the time to hang out with his friends doing whatever it was that teenaged boys did on Neopia). He was the man of the house now. Leaving would be neglecting his duties.

"So . . . do us both a favor and let me go, 'Dax. I promise I'll come back. I just have to find him." I said.

Codax hesitated. I could see his indecision reflecting in those now, calm pools of chocolate that were his eyes. Dad's eyes. Codax was almost like Dad in many ways. Except the "leaving his family" part.

"Where are you going?" Codax said.

His question stunned me. "To Morrowville." I said.

"Morrowville? Isn't that Eyrie-inhabited land?" I nodded. "I thought you were avoiding Eyries after . . . you know what." He knew better than to say the event.

"I was. But, every wise elder in our village has always said 'stand up to your fears and face them with both eyes open'. I _was_ afraid of Eyries, 'Dax. I still am. I am afraid because of what happened. But Dad's there in Morrowville. If I ever had a chance to find him and ask why . . . this is it. I can't let this pass."

"Just . . . just take care of yourself." Codax's voice shook as he said it.

I looked him straight in the face. "I will, 'Dax. I promise."

To my surprise, He hugged me. A hug which buried my face into his broad chest. My hands went around his waist and I could feel the muscles cording beneath the white, cotton t-shirt he wore. The abs were hard at his lower torso. I realized that Codax had been working out. Exercising as though that would get rid of the pain he felt. Physical pain was better than emotional, he said. Sometimes, I was inclined to agree with him.

Sometimes.

I left the next day after my job at the clinic was finished. Dash hugged me then ruffled my hair before handing me an old army canteen he said he picked up from a merchant. I took the canteen, filled it with water, and slung it diagonally across my chest.

Danica hated physical contact with anybody. Even me. But, she handed me a gift bag and told me to open it. I smiled when it turned out to be made out of the wool of a Gnorbu. I put down my pack and slipped on the cloak. The sleeves were long but other than that, it was serviceable. I loved that the hood was long and deep enough to hide my eyes from the sun. I thanked Dani while tightening the waist strap on the backpack.

Kama handed me a small handbag which stored more neo-food in it than I thought possible. I smiled at Kama and thanked her.

Then, Mom was last. The gift she gave me was one that I treasured over all physical things. She kissed me on the forehead and gave me a blessing in Neopian. Tears filled my eyes. A mother's blessing was a great gift indeed. I had waited all my life for one and now I had one. To many, this might not seem like a big deal. It was to me.

Then, with Fangore, Dilasca, and Arco at my sides and Bluehopper clinging to my back, I waved good-bye to all the people at the clinic and trudged away. We had just gone out of Centerton when a wayfaring merchant offered to let us ride in his cart until we came to the city of Mercelias. It was night by the time we got there and—after flipping a silver dollar to the merchant for his troubles—my neopets and I walked through Mercelias until we came to the outskirts.

"How much longer, Tam?" Dilasca asked as I set up camp. She showed me her hooves, which were now long and splintering; cracking up the sides to her pastern. "I'm so tired, I can't go much farther."

I lit a fire and set a pot of beans and rice over a grate. Taking out my clippers, I beckoned my little Ixi to me. She sat in my lap as I lifted each hoof, trimmed it to size and filed the edges down, and listened to my answer. "Not long, Dilasca. Marrowville is at least a three-days journey from Centerton. That merchant just shaved off a two-days walk."

"We should've thanked him properly." Fangore said, laying on his paws by me.

I smiled as I stroked his thick, coarse, furry head. "You think I should've given him two silver dollars instead of one?"

"Maybe." His head swayed from side to side. "One was probably enough. Just thought I'd make a suggestion."

I lay back and folded my hands behind my head. This was the first time I had actually gone off far away from home on my own. Not completely alone but I wished that Mom was here. Or that I had a softer bed to sleep on.

I glanced over at Fangore who was now watching me. "Do you think we'll find my father?"

"Mistress, knowing you, you probably will."

"We have to face Eyries, remember?" I said.

If Fangore could grimace, I thought I saw him do it. "I remember." He crawled closer to me and nosed my elbow. A deep whine escaped his throat. I reached up and rubbed his face.

"You big old softy." I chortled.

"I'm no softy if you're injured, Mistress." Fangore growled.

I nodded. "I'll need to you protect me."

"I always will, Mistress." He said.

I looked at Dilasca who had her forehooves on my chest; just below the bust. "You and Arco too." I told her.

"Tam . . . you saved me from a hard, cruel life. You snatched me from the jaws of death. Of course I will protect you. You have only to ask."

"What about Arco?" I asked. The green Grundo still had said nothing. He was sitting by the fire next to Bluehopper; warming his leathery back.

Arco let out a small shriek. The translation was lost to me but not to Fangore.

"He said he'll be there." The Lupe said. "As for Bluehopper . . . you think it wise that you had brought her along on this journey? Blumaroos are an Eyrie's favorite snack after all."

My stomach twisted and I stubbornly swallowed the bile that had begun to rise. "You're right. I should've left her at home. Or let Kama take care of her. But the damage is done. We can't go back now. Now when we have only a day left to go."

He licked my chin. "We'll have to protect her too." Fangore said. There was not questioning tone in his voice. Only an observation along with a adament tone.

"Yes. We'll have to protect her too." I agreed.

We fell asleep not long after supper was eaten. At sunrise, it didn't take me long to break camp. With my packs stuffed with supplies, we trudged along the desert; skirting sanddunes and Cobralls. I had my head down; not looking at where I was going when Fangore barked out a warning.

"Archway!"

I looked up, yelping and jumped around the archway that proclaimed we had reached Morrowville.


	24. NearDeath Experience And a Strange

_Chapter Twenty-four. This one was a little long too. i had completely forgotten i had a character named max in this story too. (visit the cyberchase fanficts to get what i'm talking about)  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

Near-Death Experience . . . And a Stranger  
Chapter Twenty-Four

* * *

Morrowville turned out to be a merchenting village separated from the rest of the world by sea on the east and west, a mountain to the north, and desert from the south. People came here to buy and sell exotic goods. But, it was also a temporary living area.

I ducked under fish that flew overhead as we walked under canopies and past stands. I ignored offers thrown at me (even if Dilasca did not). Then, I turned to the neopets that followed me.  
"Talk to any neos you find." I said. "See if they know anything or if they know anyone who would know anything."

They answered in their own, unique way and took off. I took Bluehopper from my shoulders and cradled her in my amrs while I looked around.

Arco's questions led us to a lean-to tent. The man inside was old and grizzled. His eye (the other was patched over) was a strange, sea-blue and seemed to stare into my soul. He stared at me over the glowing end of his pipe. He was seated in a wheelchair; both legs mere stumps where his knees should be.

He smiled and spoke in the thick accent of a veteran sea-farer. "Well, well, well! What brings a pretty girl like you to an old sea-dog's lair?"

"Information." I said, taking up seat on an upturned barrel. "I'm looking for someone."  
"Hmm. That's interesting."

"Why?"  
"Because people are always looking for something . . . or someone. You're not alone." He sucked on his pipe until the embers glowed and illuminated his face. "But, you seem to be looking for someone in particular."

"Yes."  
"Who?"  
I hesitated. "I don't see why that's your business."

"Then I can't help you." He said.

I knew I had hit a dead end. I sighed and ducked my head. "I'm looking for my father."  
He chuckled. "Now we're getting somewhere." He wheeled himself forward and cupped my chin with a calloused and scarred hand. It scratched my wind-beaten and sunburnt skin; causing it to tingle and itch. "Tell me about him."

"Look, I didn't come here to toss banter with a battered longshoreman, Mr . . .?"

"Max." He said. "And, you're right about me being a longshoreman. I was . . . until a flying, razor net cut off my legs." He rolled back the hem of his shortened trousers to reveal badly healed scars. Raw, red skin streaked with a webbing of white, knotted scars.

I felt nausceous. My stomach knotting and clenching. I could only imagine how much pain he had to endure. How much blood he had lost as he lay on the deck of his ship with sea-water sloshing over the edges; drenching I could almost see him writhing in blood and water; screaming as salt water leaked into the lacerations.

My imagination was almost as graphic as it was accurate. I've seen enough injuries to know what physical torment looks like.

He dropped his trouser legs back into place and smiled. I must've looked mortified. "I'm sorry for prying. I don't get many visitors."

"I'm sorry, Sir Max." I said.

He laughed; a deep-throated laugh that caused goosebumps to dance on my arms. "It's just Max." He dumped ash from the bowl of his pipe and stowed it into his cloak pocket. "What's he look like, your father?"

I tried to describe him from memory of the protrait on the dresser. But, what with it being nine years old, my description probably wasn't as accurate as I would've liked it to be.

Max fingered his unshaven jaw; his single eye sentered on me. I waited (patiently impatient) for a response.

"I did see such a man a few weeks ago." Max said.

My heart fluttered, excitedly, in my chest. "You did?" I stood up abruptly and my neos (even Arco) rose, too. "When?"

"As I said, a few weeks ago." Max chuckled, apparently deeply amused by my astonished expression. "He came in asking for directions to the First Mount Eyre."

"Did you see him leave?"

"No. Far as anyone can tell, he never left the mountain." His single eye still focused on my face. "You see, little one, once you go up that mountain . . . you ain't comin' back down."

A piece of rebellion (that I thought had been knocked out of me after a year at the Academy) woke up in me. I tugged on the shoulder straps of my pack; listening to my mess kit rattle behind me. My chin came up defensively. "I'm going up there. And I will come back."

Max shook his head. He gently took me by the wrist and held me in place. "I wouldn't suggest it, missy." He said. "You're so young and you're . . ." He caught sight of the green vest under the cloak. "A Trainer-in-training. Surely you're not qualified enough to go this far?"

"I've never felt more qualified in my life." I said, pulling my hand from his grip. "I may not wear the red vest of a full-Trainer, but I've seen and done things most thirteen-year-old's don't see or do."  
We stared at each other a moment. His blue-green eye met brown ones. Then, flickered back to my neos. "Which one's your's?" he asked.

"The Blumaroo, Lupe, and Ixi. I'm training the Grundo for someone else." I answered.

"The Blumaroo won't be much use up there." Max said the very words Fangore had spoken to me last night. "Do you want me to watch her?"

"No." I said. "I promised I'd take care of her. She thinks i"m her mother. She goes where I go."  
Max was quiet. Then, he rolled himself to the tent flap and pointed out. "Since you're so intent to go, I'm not your father so I can't stop you."

"You'll let me go?" I was astonished. I was expecting to have to stubbornly argue with him. But, he was seriously willing to let me go my own way. I could out-stubborn anyone (except Mam that is). Whether he guessed that arguing with me was useless or not, it still surprised me about his accepting reluctance to let me go.

"I don't see that I have a choice." Max said, he sounded sad. "The man that came here was just as stubborn. I can see where you get it from." His smile was contagious but sad.

I stepped outside but stayed under the canopy. From where I stood, I could see mountain; huge, foreboding. A fearsome inhabited by the creatures I now feared since that day.

_Maya would want you to face your fears! _My conscience whispered.

_Shut up! And don't say her name! _I cried and my conscience did shut up.

"How far is the mountain from here?" I asked.

"It would be faster by wagon." Max answered. "I'll see if any merches are willing to take you there."  
"Thank you." I said. I felt indebted to him now. But, one thing confused me. "Max, why are you helping me?"

He stared at me. "Because you remind me of my little girl. She would be eight this year." He gave a shaky sigh. "She died from a childhood disease when she was too. My wife . . . killed herself in her grief."

I could sympathized with him. "I lost someone I loved, too." I said.

"Who?"  
"My sister." I almost said "friend" but thought that too inadequate. After all, she had been more than a friend to me.

Max nodded. Then, he brushed a tear from his craggy face and squeezed my elbow. He pointed down the dusty trail. "There's a hostel not far from here. Just tell that hostess that Shoreman Max sent you. I'll pay for everything."

I hated having people pay for me. At school I had often helped her with her campus, cleaning job; refusing repayment (though, that seldom worked because she would slip money into my wallet and run off). There was always a feeling of guilt involved. Guilt, embarrasssment, and uselessness.

"Thanks for the offer but . . . I can take care of the bill." I jangled the money bag on my belt.

Max shook his head. "It won't be a problem at all, dear one. Don't worry about it."

Again with persistence? I decided it was best to go along with it.

The hostel was very well built, but it didn't look like much. Just a shack-looking thing with a cobbled path, wicker archway, and lovely plants.

The hostess was friendly and wrote on the bill that it was to go to Max. They provided us a cot and beds for the neos. I showered, changed into warm clothes, and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

We slept through supper and straight through into dawn. The warmth of the fun warmed my face and I awoke refreshed and well-rested.

Breakfast was a bountiful meal. We ate quickly, then armored both myself and the neos. As promised, a merch was waiting for us. He was a shifty-looking man as well as nervous. Obviously the stories about the mountain were scary supersititions meant to keep merches and kids away. He took us to the mountain without question.

He left us off at the base and I flipped him two silver dollars for his troubles. I had asked that he stick around (he would get another two if he did) but he refused.

"Too many people have died at these foothills for our supersititions not to be true. If you were wise, you would not linger or tarry here as we do not. Bad things happen here."

I would've been more than happy to turn around and go back home. Codax had said I was foolish. Maybe I was. But

I really had to know why he left. I was on a mission. One I had to complete.

"Please." The merch pleaded. "Come away with me."

I shook my head. "I can't. There's something I have to do."

"Then, I shall send someone for you." The merch wheeled his Tonus away and took off; his wagon bouncing over rough terrain.

I quickly pieced together the grappling gear. Acro was set into a carrier that hooked over my shoulders at the front while Bluehopper hung from a backpack on my back. Fangore and Dilasca I placed in a rescue cage and hitched it to my belt. When I had climbed a few feat up, I lifted the cage. I repeated this until we reached the top.

After releasing the neopets from their bonds and placing Bluehopper in a place of safety in some shrubbery, I took stock of our surroundings.

Just then, movement caught my attention. A big tail caught me in the stomach (it was just as heavy as I imagined it to be) and I was flung back toward the pile of brush; right where Bluehopper was hiding.

I never gave much thought to how I would die. But, if it was for someone I loved, cared for, or—possibly admired— . . . seemed easy enough. I wasn't selfish. Mostly. Especially if it was the creatures I knew and loved. And, even raised.  
Bluehopper curled up close to my chest and I curled my arm protectively around her blue, furry body. I held her close and whispered into her flopping ears comforting words. I knew she could understand me as many of her kin could. Bluehopper and I have a special connection; one that had been developed for sometime since my cousin and I found her in her nest; cold, hungry, and alone—her mother was dead; her remains close to the nest.

"Mistress. We have to move now." Fangore told me. I looked up into his red, lupine face and I saw a look of concern radiating in his cool, yellow eyes. I knew he was just worried about me.

"Where's Arco and Dilasca?" I asked him.

Fangore looked back over his shoulder at the two other creatures I had cared for since they came to me. Dilasca was cradled in Arco's arms; a black contusion visible on her yellow fur. Her purple eyes were closed. I nearly cried. Dilasca had been abandoned by her own master and I had taken it upon myself to care for her and raise her like she was my own. I cursed the fact that some humans could feel little to no compassion for the little creatures of this world.  
I got up and swung Bluehopper onto my back. She clung to my shoulders and her sharp claws dug into the fabric of my thick, red vest and her long, blue tail wrapped itself around my waist for stability. I approached Arco and took Dilasca from her. The little Ixi was still breathing; her little stomach was heaving.

"What happened, Arco?" I asked, though I knew it was a stupid question to ask for one of two reasons. One, the Grundo couldn't speak because of his dim-witted intelligence. And two, because I knew what had happened. But, I was blinded by the hot tears that were threatening to show. I had to be strong. Arco was learning strength from me and Bluehopper was still too young to understand why a strong human like me would actually cry over the half-dead corpse of an Ixy.

Suddenly, Arco's strong, three-fingered hand closed around my ankle. His glassy, blue eyes wide with fear. A fear I knew well. He pointed up at the sky indicating that danger was near.

"Mistress! Look!" Fangore barked.

I followed both of their gazes and my eyes widened in the same fear that both Fangore and Arco felt.

"RUN!" I screamed.

Fangore snatched Arco up in his teeth and tossed him onto his back. He clung to his thick, red fur tightly as he ran beside me.

"Mistress! Look out!" Fangore howled after me as I slipped onto a rock and feel onto my knees; nearly crushing Dilasca with my body.

I twisted to my side and looked up. The dark, malicious shape of the opposing Eyrie descending upon me.

They say that when you're about to die, you're whole life flashes before your eyes.

At first, I used to let that roll off my back and act like it never happened. Now, I see what the elders meant by it.

However, there was part of an untruth to that saying. I didn't just see my life. I saw the lives of my pets. Everything they had shared with me when we communed. Everyone, but Arco's who was not really my pet.

In my daze, I saw the Eyrie strike at the ground close to where I lay. I rolled away just as Fangore attacked. Arco shrieked out his own challenge as the two of them fought to protect me.

Then, he grabbed me. Wrapped in a cloak with a camouflage pattern woven into the woven fabric. He seized me by the shoulders and dragged me up.

"Come on! While the Lupe and Grundo distract them." He led me toward the cave, glanced furtively around, then lowered his hood. He was almost like I remembered. Only, older and more scarred with salt and pepper hair.

I smiled, meekly and dazedly. "Where have you been all my life?" I asked before darkness leaked over my vision.


	25. Why? & Epilogue

_Chapter Twenty-five and Epilogue. Yes, this one is a double-whammy. and yes, it has come to an end. enjoy.  
_

_I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.  
_

* * *

Why?  
Chapter Twenty-Five

* * *

I had always imagined death—heaven really—to be comfortable. Like, laying on a feather bed of clouds. To die _is_ easy. It's all a matter of letting go. For the past five months, I had been wanting to let go. But, with my friends being so persistent on my survival, I hadn't been able to let go.

With all the pain I was feeling all down my back, it would've been a nice reprieve. I could only imagine what sort of injuries waited for me there. For only a few seconds, I thought I was in heaven.

Until pain in my back flared.

It felt like I was laying on a bed of coals with flames licking my body. I half-expected to see Lucifer standing over me with his pitchfork (a stereotype I know but it was how we depicted him) laughing maniacally while leering and saying "Now I have you!"

But, to my surprise, when I opened my eyes I only saw stalactites of a dark brown and mossy green hanging over me. I was laying flat on my back on the hard floor of the cave. I tried to remember how I got here. Then, the memory of the hooded man came into my mind.

Movement caught my eye off to the side. I turned my head; hissing with pain as my muscles screamed at me to lay still.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." A shadow said, crouching over the fire. I couldn't see his face, but I knew it was _him_. "You bruise very easily, for a girl. And, you fell quite hard." He sounded amused. "You handle yourself very well. For a girl."

"I think we have established that I _am_ a girl." I snapped.

"Forgive me. I wasn't implying that you, yourself, didn't know your own sex. I was merely commenting on the fact that Morrowville doesn't often see female Trainers. Most girls would runaway screaming at the first sign of an Eyrie. You didn't seem surprised that Mufasa was there."

"Mufasa?" I asked.

"He's the king of the Eyries, basically. Mufasa means 'king' in the ancient tongue of the Africans on Terra. That is why the Morrowville locals have dubbed him such." He said.

I twisted until I was laying on my side; relieving pressure on my back. "Do you consider yourself a Morrowville local?" I asked.

"No." He answered. "I am originally from Centerton. I have a wife and two kids there."

"Do you see them often?"

He stopped stirring what smelled suspiciously like beef stew. "I haven't seen them in nearly a decade."

I looked around. My pack rested nearby as did Dilasca; curled up next to the pack—still unconscious. I couldn't see the other three. Until Fangore moved from a shadowy corner to lay by me. His tongue rasped my face and neck.

"Your Lupe's injured. Apparently so is your Ixi and Grundo. Your Blumaroo is okay though." He said.

"Why didn't you help them?" I asked.

"Because _he_ wouldn't let me." He jabbed at Fangore who growled, menacingly at him. "Wouldn't let me do anything more with you other than let me remove your cloak."

I stroked Fangore gently between the ears to get him to calm down. Then, I checked him over while speaking to the man. "He's very protective of me."

"I see." The man said. "Is he yours?"

"All but the Grundo is mine." I said.

"Hmm." He watched me as I fumbled with the bag Fangore had just brought to me before attending to the neos' injuries. "You might want to attend to your back. If you need help with that, just holler."

I nodded my thanks but didn't reply. I focused on Fangore's injuries.

For the most part, my Lupe was only razed in a few places (needing only a disinfectant and numbing elixir compound) but had some bleeding holes that needed more, careful attention. Arco was razed, too, and only needed the compound—I was a little more careful with him. As for Dilasca, she needed more attention. As I stared at the blackened mark in her yellow fur, fear welled up in my mind. I was afraid of infection. Even worse, I was afraid of losing her. And losing a piece of myself along with her.

I patched her up and waited fearfully for her to come around. Then, I rubbed at my shoulders; trying to relieve the pain and tension my muscles were screaming about. He was suddenly behind me tugging at my vest.

"Lift up your shirt." He ordered, picking up the container of the compound.

I hesitated. I was uncomfortable with having a man tell me to do that. As I unbuttoned the vest and pulled it (painfully) from my shoulders, I hissed at Fangore to settle down. Then, I lifted the tunic up over my head. I felt him fumble with the hooks of my bra so that more work surface was available to him.

"How bad is it?" I asked. I couldn't see but was sure I didn't want to.

"There's a black bruise from your spine-crevice out. Then, it goes purple, gray, and yellow. Your back is basically one big bruise." He said. He spoke calmly, probably amazed I was crying from the pain he thought I must be feeling. Personally, I thought he was sexist.

His hands were rough but gentle as he smeared a bunch of the smelly concoction down my back and across my shoulders. All the while, he shot questions at me.

"So, what are you doing up here?"

"I'm looking for someone."

He chuckled. A sound I recognized too well. "I think you found someone." He said, wiping off excess material with the back of his knife. "Who were you looking for?"

"Someone." I said. I didn't want to admit who. "Just, someone I haven't seen in a long time."

"How do you know they're still around?"

"Why are you so curious about who I'm looking for?"

"Because you would have to be an idiot to climb up here just to look for someone."

"Maybe I am an idiot." I agreed. "But, who are you to decide my sanity?"

His grip tightened on my shoulders and I winced. "Only a man concerned for a green-vested Trainer." he said.

So, he was more concerned about a girl he didn't know but not about his own family. Maybe Codax was right about him.

"You didn't answer my question." He said.

"Because I got a letter from the Neopian Exploration Organization saying they were alive." I said, slowly trying to reel him into my true identity. "Know anything about them?"

". . . No. Why would I?" His response faltered. If there was anything that Maya ever taught me it was that when people lie, they take too long to come up with an answer. Or, answer a question with a question. Most times.

"You look more like the kind of man who would leave his family to join them." I said. I realized I was guilting him. I heard him swallow hard.

He stopped rubbing at my bare back when I said that. "How do you know so much about me?"

I looked over my shoulder at his angry face. "Because I do."

"Who are you?" He asked, now suspicious of me.

I straightened up and turned around to face him as I slipped the tunic back into place. I had been waiting. "I was sent after you; to find you and bring you back to where you belong. To the family you belong to." I let him absorb this information before saying names. "These are my followers: Fangore the Lupe, Arco the Grundo, Dilasca the Ixi, and Bluehopper the Blumaroo. I am their master, teacher, and protector. I am Tamara."

He was shocked. I backed up as he slid down the wall like I had struck him. His hand flew to his heart as though to keep it in his chest. His mouth gaped open and shut and his eyes wide with fearful wonder. It was like he had seen a ghost.

"Tamara?" He said, finally. "Little Tam?"

"Yes." I said, sharply.

"I . . . I didn't know—no, expect—you to still be around or to come after me." He said. "Or that you would grow up to be so beautiful or strong."

"That's what it means to be human. To grow in size and stature. And to learn from your mistakes." The village elders had said that so many times.

He curled his legs up close to his body. I saw him shake as he sobbed shamefully. I was moved. I had never seen a grown man cry. I had seen men cry (Bo and Thor did) but never a grown man. I sat beside him and touched his shoulders.

"I have been afraid that my past would come back to haunt me. I was going to go back after a few years of service but I just couldn't face my family again. Not after everything I did to them. Not after abandoning them like that." His meaty hands suddenly grabbed me and I was pressed against him in a hard, hug. I let him cling to me as he cried. "I had been afraid they wouldn't forgive me."

I waited a while before saying, "I had been asking myself that same question."

"Really?" He raised his face to me; streaked with tears and red-eyed.

"Yeah. I had been asking myself, 'if my father were to come back—or if I were to see him on the streets—could I forgive him for what he did to me and Mom and Codax?'" I said.

"What was your answer?"

I hesitated. "It varied from what I was feeling." I said.

"What are you feeling now?"

My feelings was a messy broth with no substance. Nothing to scoop out. I felt almost empty. Then, I dug around and found it . . . a tomato slice. My favorite and a sign of peace on Neopia.

"Forgiveness." I said.

He smiled through his tears. This time, he gave me a real hug. One that wasn't clingy or needy. One that was sincere. The first in my whole life. When I had fallen off my bike, scraped my knee and cried while sitting on the gravel driveway, Dad called from the porch: "Did you break a bone? Do you need your mother to see to you?" "No." I would say tearfully. "Then don't cry. You're a big girl and crying is only for babies, losers, and the weak."

Needless to say that I _had_ more than he would allow. Painful tears had coursed down my face more than once. I couldn't think of what he thought of himself now. A baby? Weak? A loser?

"Do you think your mother and brother can forgive me?"

I hesitated. Mom didn't want much to do with him _after _he left. I didn't know what she would do now. As for Codax, I wondered what he would do now.

"Only if you're willing to come home today." I said.

He smiled, nodding. "Sure, daughter. Come, eat. Bring your neos too. Let them eat. Then, we can leave."

The stew was good. But, what was better wasn't the food. It was the fact that I had found _him_, my father. The man who had abandoned us.

And, he was coming home.

* * *

Epilogue

Excerpt from the journal of Timon

Tuesday, August 20

I have to say, I wasn't expecting to see my little girl, Tamara, come find me. I admit, she's not so little anymore. She has grown since I last saw her nine years ago. And, she is a strong, young woman.

I feel bad for leaving them. Nine years ago, I was only thinking of myself. The stresses of being a father is nothing like what my own father described it to be. I oft think myself a failure for not teaching my son the "manly ways" or my daughter how best to live like a girl. From Tamara's description, they both seem to be fighters and their mother—my wife—are all hanging on despite my extended absence. I knew Naomi would hang on. My kids weren't so weak either.

When Tamara found me in the cave and told me who she was, I could see the old ghosts I had runaway from coming back to haunt me. I thought I wasn't ready to face them. But, today, we are making our descent from the First Mount Eyre. We decided to go a few hours after dawn to be sure that Mufasa and his cave-mates are all sleeping. They are nocturnal beasts after all.

I wasn't sure how we were going to make it down there with four neopets in tow. Tamara showed me that she had a rescue cage with her, borrowed from the Morrow-ville locals. First, I repelled down and she sent the Ixi and the Lupe down in the cage. Then, she repelled down herself with the Grundo and the Blumaroo hanging onto her. I was surprised by how strong she seemed to be . . . for a girl of thirteen.

It was a long way from the mountain to Morrowville. Luckily, we had only gone a few steps when a Merch came to find us. He took us back in his wagon to Morrow-ville. Later, we hitched a ride from an out-going Merch to take us to Mercellas then to Centerton. A three-day trip made in one. And, we made it home in time for supper.

It had been a long time since I last resided in Centerton. Hadn't changed a bit, this place I once called "home". Still as busy and chaotic as ever. Tamara took us to the clinic my wife used to run. Apparently she still does. As expected, all activities halted as soon as we came in. I recognized Naomi working among the Assistant Veterinarians. She looked up and, when she saw me, she ran toward me with tears of joy streaming down her face. I knew she had missed me more than Tamara's words could explain.  
She felt thinner than usual. I held her like I had on our honeymoon. Had it really been that long? She made me swear I wouldn't leave her again. I did promise, proclaiming (rather loudly at Tamara's request) that I would quit my job with NEO. It just wasn't for me. Not to mention, it was bad for my family.

Codax was a very strong lad. Naomi explained that he had been hanging out with his buddies and lifting weights to stay in shape. Tamara whispered to me that this was the first in nearly a decade that Codax ever smiled. It was a shock to me that he had been holding so much joy back under a stack of anger. All that anger must be harmful to human mental capabilities.

I decided to spend the evening with my son (having spent nearly all day yesterday with my daughter and I will be spending the night with my wife). Codax had much to tell me. Everything that happened in the nine years of my being AWOL. He said he missed me but couldn't let his emotions get the better of him since he became the man of the house. I asked him why he hadn't gone to the academy. He explained that he didn't see a need to since Tamara was a better advocate and she went. And, he was too old now. Made sense since training usually began at their thirteenth year.

Night with my wife was very enjoyable. The first that I had had in a long time. Oh, how I missed laying beside her with her frail body against mine and just hold her and smell the sweet shampoo in her hair.

Sincerely,

Timon

Wednesday, August 21

I paid a visit to my parents and told them that I wasn't going to leave. I sent a letter to my associates at the headquarters of NEO. I cannot say that they were pleased with my choice to leave their ranks. They were sorry to lose me but I thought there were more important things. Like, family.

Sincerely,

Timon

Thursday, August 22

I was able to see my daughter off to the Academy. She is excited about introducing me to her friends. She had made so many there in the short year. Naomi told me that there is one friend that Tamara made that is not there. The twin to the one named Alison, who died last March in an Eyrie attack. My heart goes out to the family.

Naomi mentioned that the girl, Maya, and Alison were both like sisters to Tamara. To lose her like she thought they had lost me was very heartbreaking.

Naomi said that Tamara had been deathly frightened of Eyries since that day but she was willing to face her fears to find me.

"You should be proud of your daughter, Timon." Naomi told me. "She normally avoids the things she is afraid of. It took guts to face such terrible beasts as Eyries."

I agreed. Then, I gave Tamara the very thing she had been waiting for. Her father's blessing. I thanked her for getting me off that mountain and bringing me home. Then, I wished her good luck and promised to be down to take her home on holidays.

'Tis wonderful to be home, at last. To be back at the place I belong.

Sincerely,

Timon


End file.
